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To be really sad - he wants me to cancel

219 replies

Tomorrowmustbebrighter · 28/03/2021 17:53

I’ve name changed incase he gets wind of this. DH and I are not exactly flush. I’ve been wanting to buy a couple of bits of cheap furniture for ages but we’ve not had money. Recently I was surprised that he told me to go for it and order what I wanted. I tried really hard to keep the pieces under total of a couple of hundred which he’d said was fine. He liked what I’d picked. I ordered it this morning and was so excited to spruce up the house a bit. He’s just called me through to the bedroom where he’s been sleeping off a hangover to act extremely annoyed about why I’d ordered this stuff claiming he didn’t think I’d be spending any where near that amount ( this isn’t true) and I need the cancel it. He was smirking. There’s a history of abuse for years( name calling, gaslighting, belittling, jealousy drinking too much, refusal to help with the kids, swearing at me) it’s got worse and worse over lockdown . So many people think he’s super charming and hilarious. They literally have no idea what a monster he really is. I don’t know why I’ve stayed in all honesty. I don’t know how I’m still here some days. It’s so hard to explain. Just today I feel utterly heart broken that he thinks it’s fun to take this from me. He knew how much it meant to me. I have been measuring up and looking on Pinterest etc. All for nothing . Just that bit of hope.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

LittleOwl153 · 28/03/2021 17:56

You just need to get out. Think about the hoke you can create for yourself if you she'd this controlling waster!


JesusIsAnyNameFree · 28/03/2021 17:58

Oh, OP Sad That's just so cruel, I can't imagine how anyone could do that.

Are you in a position to leave? This isn't a life. It sounds like hell.


saveforthat · 28/03/2021 17:59

What would he do if you don't cancel?


4Mongrels · 28/03/2021 18:01

Have you considered leaving him?


CloudFormations · 28/03/2021 18:01

Just stop it OP. Stop this relationship. Why ever would you stay? Why are you sacrificing your happiness and well-being, and wasting your life? When you look back on your life from your deathbed will you be happy that you wasted it on this shitty relationship?


Orchidflower1 · 28/03/2021 18:03

Sorry your h is being awful. Do you have “shared” money or does he see it as “his” money that you’ve spent?


Kittykat93 · 28/03/2021 18:05

This made me so sad for you op. This is no way to live, how would you feel if your children end up in relationships like this? It's so so hard but you need to leave, he will never change and is more likely to get worse rather than better. You deserve more, your children deserve more.


BramStoker · 28/03/2021 18:05

My first ever LTB

He is clearly taking pleasure from upsetting you which is vile inexcusable behaviour


MiddlesexGirl · 28/03/2021 18:06

What would happen if you didn't cancel the order?


DIshedUp · 28/03/2021 18:06

Firstly don't cancel the order, unless you think he might get violent

Secondly what is preventing you leaving? Genuinly. I would be starting plans to leave the relationship


MrsBDarcy · 28/03/2021 18:07

If you're describing him as a monster it's not great. You deserve better. What is stopping you flying free of this nastiness?


OysterMonkey · 28/03/2021 18:07

Just a few things in your short post :

  • you’ve namechanged in case he gets wind of it. Why? Does he habit of tracking your internet posting history?
  • he’s sleeping off a hangover at 5.30pm
  • history of abuse (and all the things you list)

So the question is why are you still with him?

TurquoiseDragon · 28/03/2021 18:08

LTB, it'll never get any better. Been there, and left an abusive ex.

And that first night in a home that doesn't include him, and his shitty attitudes and behaviour to you, will be so freeing for you.


MrsTerryPratchett · 28/03/2021 18:10

I don’t know why I’ve stayed in all honesty.

What's the money situation? Because if you can leave, leave. And if you can't, change things so you are in a position to leave. He's actively trying to disappoint and upset you. Actively trying to...


StandUpForYourRights · 28/03/2021 18:10

You do not have to live like this. He is a total bastard doing this. Its alright for him to spend money and get pissed, but you can't spend £200 on furniture. What a tosser.


sjfjsnfkdhsbd · 28/03/2021 18:11

Do you want help with your exit plan? There is no point discussing his latest act of abuse. The only worthwhile thing to do now is work on leaving.

It's not fair on you, and even less fair on your children, to live in an abusive home.


Mif4 · 28/03/2021 18:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Suzi888 · 28/03/2021 18:12

Redirect the furniture to a friend, move out and furnish your own place.
If he’s violent, go to women’s aid.
If he’s just being a knob, say nothing and let him sleep it off. Don’t cancel the order...


nimbuscloud · 28/03/2021 18:13

Please gather the courage to leave him.


Vetyveriohohoh · 28/03/2021 18:14

Please find a way to leave him, this is no way to live


butterpuffed · 28/03/2021 18:15

What a vile man. Makes me wonder if he'd planned this all along.


23PissOffAvenueWF · 28/03/2021 18:15

Every time you roll over and accept this sort of shit from him, you just green-light more shitty behaviour.

He is never going to change. He enjoys being cruel to you. You don’t leave, so he gets his kicks from continuing to do it.

How much more of this are you willing to put up with? The rest of your life? When he gets his kicks out of doing it to your kids, too?


AllTheCakes · 28/03/2021 18:16

What a cruel bastard. You don’t have to stand for this. Can you find your own place you could decorate and furnish how you like when you are free of him?


TheWernethWife · 28/03/2021 18:17

The only thing you should cancel is this abusive knobhead.


sausagepastapot · 28/03/2021 18:18

Get the fuck away from him. You can do this. What an absolute waste of space. You don't deserve this.

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