To hate hugs?

[LemonSherbetFancies]

Apart from DP hugging me (which I love), I absolutely hate hugs.
Dreading when restrictions are eased and all the huggers come out.
Aibu?

I hate hugs. I hate most forms of physical contact with most people. But love leaning on my DH (hate him leaning on me.)
I'm autistic though, it's pretty common.
I usually keep a good distance between myself and the other person and if DH is there stand behind him, let him hug people then lead the way out so he's still blocking us.

I am not a hugger, never have been. I have 2 close friends who are, 1 who I detest hugging me because she knows I hate it and does it anyway even saying "oh I know you don't like it but I'm coming in anyway" and now makes her kids hug me thinking I can't/won't back away from them. It's not deliberate it's an instinctive reaction I can't help it. I have actually been less close with her because of it. The other is a hugger but does her best to resist most of the time for me and my eldest dd (also not a hugger) dd2 on the other hand is happy to oblige.

I love hugs.

From people I know and love.

There was this one woman who, on the very first time I met her, flung her arms wide and said "Ooh I'm a hugger!". She went round the group hugging, so I folded my arms and gave her my best "Nope" stare. She still tried to come in for a hug so I told her I didn't 'do' hugs, thank you. She then had the utter cheek to tell me I was 'a strange one'.

No. Don't invade my personal space without my permission, weirdo.

@NameChangedForThisFeb21

Why do people assume that everyone wants a hug? It’s awful.

They hug you and you feel ick. Like you want to die inside.

They go to hug you and you step back and they get hurt feelings. So it’s easier to accept the overwhelming nausea and grossness of a hug.

There should be a “please don’t hug me”
lanyard.

Huggers and bump touchers creep the shit out of me.

I’m like a cat. Leave me be, I’ll come to you and test the waters. If you touch my belly or pounce and hug me I will bite you.

Then you get your slow mo huggers. The arms stretch out like an eagle coming into land and they walk slowly towards you while screeching “JENNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYY” and all the while the bottom is falling out of my stomach and my internal monologue is “shit.shit.shit. RUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!!”

Bloody huggers. I’m not ready to deal with this shit yet.

So so funny and true!

It’s so funny isn’t it, I’m reading these posts from the POV of that serial hugger you all hate, and I can so recognise the scenarios you are all describing: me leaning in for a hug, that one person leaning away, hunched shoulders, awkward body language, slightly dithery ‘which way do I go’ kind of movement. In my head I’ll just be thinking ‘oh bless, they don’t know how to hug. Poor thing obviously doesn’t get enough hugs and just isn’t used to it. I need to give them an extra BIG hug to make up for it. I’ll take the lead so they don’t have to worry’. The thing is serial huggers just CANNOT imagine that you don’t secretly really want and need a hug. For us a hug is so good for the soul we feel it would be cruel to deprive you of the magic of one of our hugs. In our heads, although you say you don’t like hugs, once you’ve experienced OUR hug you will realise you just hadn’t had the right person hugging you. We will make it all better for you, don’t you worry. How come here for that hug, you

I'm with you OP!

Love cuddling DH and our kids. Really don't want anyone else touching me.
There is no good reason that I can see that someone would need to touch me. When I was pregnant with ds1 I had people I didn't even know touching my stomach, wtf is that about!? It used to put me on edge going anywhere.
Found out I was pg with ds2 at the start of lockdown last year and it was amazing that no one could come near me

I've not had a hug in over a year (apart from hugging my dog!). I live alone, I'd like some human contact, to hug my family and friends.

They hug you and you feel ick. Like you want to die inside.

Perfect description

@Holly60

It’s so funny isn’t it, I’m reading these posts from the POV of that serial hugger you all hate, and I can so recognise the scenarios you are all describing: me leaning in for a hug, that one person leaning away, hunched shoulders, awkward body language, slightly dithery ‘which way do I go’ kind of movement. In my head I’ll just be thinking ‘oh bless, they don’t know how to hug. Poor thing obviously doesn’t get enough hugs and just isn’t used to it. I need to give them an extra BIG hug to make up for it. I’ll take the lead so they don’t have to worry’. The thing is serial huggers just CANNOT imagine that you don’t secretly really want and need a hug. For us a hug is so good for the soul we feel it would be cruel to deprive you of the magic of one of our hugs. In our heads, although you say you don’t like hugs, once you’ve experienced OUR hug you will realise you just hadn’t had the right person hugging you. We will make it all better for you, don’t you worry. How come here for that hug, you

Please tell me you aren’t going to persist in ignoring the discomfort of non huggers now you know what it feels like for us? We just don’t want to be hugged. Please stop forcing them.

www.dailymotion.com/video/x3e69rt

Is it a newish thing? I'm 48 and I can't remember everyone hugging each other all the time years ago.
I'm a similar age and my family/extended family/family friends were ALWAYS hugging each other.

@AlwaysLatte

Is it a newish thing? I'm 48 and I can't remember everyone hugging each other all the time years ago. I'm a similar age and my family/extended family/family friends were ALWAYS hugging each other.

And we had to “give your Uncles, Aunts and Cousins a kiss goodbye like a good girl!” even if we only saw them once a year and they were basically strangers to us .

OMG, I've found people who are like me!! I hate it too, and I haven't missed dodging the huggers during lockdowns. However, whereas before COVID I just found excuses not to hug, now I have the confidence to say, no thanks, I'm not a hugger, please don't, without any feelings of guilt....

Yeah, I'm not a fan

Can’t stand it. Some times and people are worse than others, but I’ve been glad about the lack of hugging and I’ve been baffled about how much people ‘need’ them and have struggled so much without.

Thank you for saying the unsayable OP. I'm also dreading the hugs. Need to start practicing my hunching forwards (to minimise body contact) posture soon

@LemonSherbetFancies

Apart from DP hugging me (which I love), I absolutely hate hugs. Dreading when restrictions are eased and all the huggers come out. Aibu?

Same.

If I can touch you with my arms outstretched you're too feckin close..... GET BACK, I bite.

When my DD’s were born I was big on body autonomy for them and not making them show affection when they don’t want to and then realised that I still let people hug me or kiss cheeks when I hate it and it makes my skin crawl.

So now I just say no thanks and step back or a wave is fine.
Got to practice what you preach and all that.
I’m affectionate with my family and kids. Loads of Hugs and kisses but I don’t like other people touching me.

I'm 46 and the obligatory hugging/kissing greeting thing has definitely become much more universal in the past 10-15 years (in the UK)

I am not from a family of huggers and don't recall hugging friends as a teen or at university either. I honestly don't remember it being a thing back in the 80s/90s!

My 2 best friends are both big huggers and I will go along with it with people I like to avoid awkwardness but I am never the instigator (unless I am very drunk!)

I like hugs with husband, son and cats. Nobody else is allowed near me.

Urgh yes, kissing on cheek, also revolting.
Glad I have found my tribe here. I just don't want anyones body except my DP's up against my own. A few years back there was a 'hug a stranger' type movement. This woman came up in the street and hugged me and I flung her back so far that (no joke) she nearly fell in the nearby bin.

I always tell people I don't like hugs and don't want them. Never be worried about saying that.

Another non hugger here. I am also dreading the time for hugs to start. Really hope that people know me well enough. Ive shared a few memes, just hope they get the message. I bet someone doesn't though, after all we all love a good hug

Why should we have to feel awkward to not want to reciprocate? Just leave use be!!! Please.

I am not particularly demonstrative apart from with my children but I find I do miss hugging my friends.

We used to have a group of people who stood in the city centre holding placards saying 'Free Hugs'. Not for me (eewwww) but I guess if someone is struggling and needs human contact it would be beneficial.

Another non hugger here too.
Just no. And then they try and make you feel guilty by acting all hurt and offened when you step back or cringe!

Learn to read body language,for goodness sake and get out of my space!