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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If a parent doesn't pay for his children one month is he allowed to see them?

299 replies

leigh1996 · 24/03/2021 10:46

Citizens advice is really busy so I'm waiting 7 days on a call back

If he doesn't pay this month is he able to see them. I know parental rights you need to do your responsibilities too.

OP posts:
WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 24/03/2021 10:46

Of course he is still allowed to see them. Maintenance and access are not linked.

Wankerchief · 24/03/2021 10:47

Yes. Its not pay per veiw

Wankerchief · 24/03/2021 10:47

View

sadpapercourtesan · 24/03/2021 10:47

They're not pay-per-view! Of course he should pay maintenance. But contact is about their right/need to see him, not the other way around.

MajorNeville · 24/03/2021 10:48

Of course they are, visitation is as much for the children as the parent.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 24/03/2021 10:48

Yes...

HollysBush · 24/03/2021 10:48

Yes!

FatCatThinCat · 24/03/2021 10:48

It depends. Are your kids pay-per-view or just regular kids?

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 24/03/2021 10:50

It’s understandable that you might be irked at not receiving child-support but why would you want to punish your kids for it?

Redannie118 · 24/03/2021 10:50

I used to work for CMG. Children are not pay per view. There are a few things to consider here.
1 Does he usually pay? How late is the payment? Has he been in touch to give you a reason for non payment or offer a compromise( ie can he pay a bit less this month and more next month etc)
2 what kind of arrangement do you have? Informal? Through the courts? Through CMG?
If you can answer these I can give you some ideas how to proceed.

orpah · 24/03/2021 10:53

Yes of course Hmm

leigh1996 · 24/03/2021 10:54

He has underpaid for months but it's monthly payments. During these under payments he knows we have nothing

OP posts:
User7312019 · 24/03/2021 10:54

Of course he should see them still. You have no right to keep someone from seeing their children.

leigh1996 · 24/03/2021 10:54

It's an informal arrangement

OP posts:
leigh1996 · 24/03/2021 10:55

How long does he have to not pay for to not be able to see them?

OP posts:
WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 24/03/2021 10:56

Go to the CMS to formalise payments, they can set up collect and pay if he doesn't pay.

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 24/03/2021 10:56

He could not pay for 50 years. He's still got the right to see them.

Megan2018 · 24/03/2021 10:57

@leigh1996

How long does he have to not pay for to not be able to see them?
He can never pay and would still have rights to see them. Get a court ordered agreement in place.
Ahbahbahbah · 24/03/2021 10:57

Good grief.

Children are not pay per view.

There is absolutely no correlation between him paying and him seeing them.

If you refuse to let him see them, he can go to court and demand regular access. A court will not take into account at all whether he is paying in deciding how much access to give him.

Crazycrazylady · 24/03/2021 10:57

op
The two things are completely unrelated and courts take a very dim view of people trying to link the two. Children should never be pay per view.
Of course he should pay maintenance but you can't prevent your children from seeing their father.

RancidOldHag · 24/03/2021 10:58

@leigh1996

How long does he have to not pay for to not be able to see them?
Never

Children aren't pay per view.

Totally separate issues and need to be tackled separately

But it's a horrid situation for you, and it's very unfair. But the DC's right to a relationship with their DDad is the paramount issue here

Rutennotou · 24/03/2021 10:58

Paying maintenance and seeing the children aren't linked. My ex hadn't paid in 7 months (lost job, recently got another, have left the CMS to sort it out) and I've not stopped him seeing our daughter as that's only punishing her. Don't be so petty.

LadyCatStark · 24/03/2021 10:59

There’s absolutely no link between paying for them and seeing them. You need to go to the CMS to make sure he pays.

Racoonworld · 24/03/2021 10:59

He should pay you of course. But that shouldn’t be linked to seeing his children. It’s for the child’s benefit too, it wouldn’t be fair on them to deny them seeing their dad.

CombatBarbie · 24/03/2021 10:59

Maintenance and access are completely separate and you cannot use it against the NRP rightly or wrongly.

If its informal and he's messing around why aren't you claiming via CMS

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