If a parent doesn't pay for his children one month is he allowed to see them?

[leigh1996]

Citizens advice is really busy so I'm waiting 7 days on a call back

If he doesn't pay this month is he able to see them. I know parental rights you need to do your responsibilities too.

I used to have this conversation all the time with parents when I worked at the CSA and as galling as it is, kids aren’t pay per view. Unfortunately even if you’re getting nothing you still have to smile and hand them over to ‘Disney Dad’ 🤮🤮

Phrases that really should be banned on mumsnet
Kids aren’t pay per view
Disney dad
Add nothing of substance but detract from spontaneous conversation by interjecting tired tropes

@leigh1996

Advice I was given years ago from a Hv was that if he doesn't pay I don't need to let him in the house this was only 4 years ago .. I was just checking it's still correct

He's obligated by law to pay isn't he?

Surely the court would if he demands to see them will make him pay?

this wasn't ever correct.

Apply for maintenance through CMS. That way you'll get what you are entitled to.

Don't stop access though.

Your ex's financial contributions to YOU should never be a reason why the children should be kept from their father. That's selfish

Not paying CM (without VALID reason such as losing job) is IMO child neglect. If the mother decided she didn’t want to financially support her children, they would be taken off her until she sorted herself out.

Your ex's financial contributions to YOU

The money isn’t OPs though! Its the DCs money, ya know for food and other essentials 🙄

I think OP has the message now.

I agree that NRP should pay but be careful what you wish for. If all NRP were paying, benefits will go down, those at the bottom will never be better off. The only reason maintenance isnt included now is down to the unreliability of NRP.

Children should also see there NRP. RP who breach orders should also face consequences.

Both parents need to step up, parent and pay for their DC.

Eh? The bloke doesn't pay yet it's her fault for having had his babies...
are you being serious? Must be peachy in your world having never fucked up ever. Poor op was obviously lacking the crystal ball you were given at birth

@mildlymiffed

It’s the poor child I feel sorry for that the thought would even cross OP mind to stop them seeing their dad. They would be punished for his actions!!

Some men are feckless and don’t/won’t change. Seen it happen several times where women introduce boyfriends to our group and straight away you think 🤦‍♀️ Low and behold they have kids and guess what, he’s a feckless father as well, doesn’t pay etc.... leaves one job without having another etc...so why assume having kids with him would be a good idea. If the warning signs are there run for the hill!

What's important is their right to see their dad.

If we are talking about what is right it’s important that said Dad makes adequate regular financial payments @Confusedandshaken

@TableFlowerss without getting derailed from the topic- I really hope that you and your group of friends never end up single, with your dp's acting out of character when separation occurs. Any seemingly decent chap who you've had kids with, can change in the throes of separation.

It's amazing that even when you think someone is a decent guy, they can turn into complete twats once money is involved. Especially when they feel they're paying "too much" or the ex wife must be "spending it all on herself"...

Luckily for me, my "friends" didn't look disparagingly at me and say "I thought as much" regarding my exH.

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

Phrases that really should be banned on mumsnet Kids aren’t pay per view Disney dad Add nothing of substance but detract from spontaneous conversation by interjecting tired tropes

What about Disney Dads who won't pay per view? Where do we stand on this?

I think we stand with viewing on demand payment by subscription

That could take off, subscription dad if you're a regular payer.

It is whats best for the child and its not illegal to not see or support a child unfortunately, my dd 13's dad chose to not see or have contact for 2 years now, and not pay child maintenance.

However If he chose to see her now I would have to consider what's best for her obviously?

Seeing children is different issue and he can never give you a penny but he can still see the children. Get the payments organised officially as he should pay x

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

If we are talking about what is right it’s important that said Dad makes adequate regular financial payments *@Confusedandshaken*

You are quite right. They have a right to see their dad and a right to be supported by him. It's bad enough they are losing out in the second one. Let's not take the first one away too. That punishes them more than him.

God the vitriol on this thread for the mother in the situation who takes care of her kids every day and does her best to stop them going without when it’s the fucking father who isn’t even doing the bare minimum of financially supporting the children he has 50% responsibility for.

The CMS amount a NRP should pay for 2 children is 16% and that is the minimum amount he should pay- he is allowed to pay more. The OP gets told that: she should be “grateful” for whatever he is prepared to give her, to suck it up if he pays nothing because “why isn’t she able to afford to take care of them without his financial input? What is she doing with all her money?” And that it’s her own fucking fault for not realising what a selfish financially abusive shit the father of her children is before she had kids with him.

We don’t need men to tear women down. It seems on mumsnet at least that women are doing a fine job of being utter misogynistic cunts to each other.

I have seen women get more sympathy,unmumsnetty hugs, sad face When the nanny leaves

With any luck he will feed and cloth them when he sees them

Children aren't Pay per View TV.

Wish the DP's ex thought the same, but no, it's got to be literally 100 x his assessed payment before she'll even think about giving him her address.

A few weeks back I saw a thread where the OP was repeatedly berated for not working.

The ex was excused by posters as he was giving up work to be a SAHD for his new children.

That was meant in sympathy for you OP having to put up with the shite of an unreliable EXDP

If he doesnt feed them when he has them over night, that is neglect

Not giving you any money is wrong but not neglect

It had nothing to do with being a MAN!
It would be the same if the dad had full custody and the mum wasnt giving him any money

If you go through child support agency, they will take a percentage before his work pay him
If he hasnt got a job, the courts cant ‘make’ him give you money when he has very little income himself

@leigh1996

Advice I was given years ago from a Hv was that if he doesn't pay I don't need to let him in the house this was only 4 years ago .. I was just checking it's still correct

He's obligated by law to pay isn't he?

Surely the court would if he demands to see them will make him pay?

No no no!! Although it's frustrating a court won't stop him seeing his children because he has underpaid.