If a parent doesn't pay for his children one month is he allowed to see them?

[leigh1996]

Citizens advice is really busy so I'm waiting 7 days on a call back

If he doesn't pay this month is he able to see them. I know parental rights you need to do your responsibilities too.

OP, I feel for you. I've been there. I've been there, a single mum, working two jobs and still struggling like hell to pay the rent, cover the bills, while my ex lived his life entirely on his terms, playing 'Disney Dad' when he felt like it and never offering any financial support for his child.
It's pretty soul-destroying.

Maintaince payments are between you and the father and have no impact on limiting or reducing contact
Two Separate issues here.
CMS for the maintence
I strongly suggest you work through your resentment and not inflict it on your child by thinking interfering in his contact is the answer
Never rely on maintenance payments if they are erratic amounts or irregular
Hence cms.
Are you able to tell him what clothes, shoes your child needs?
Ask him to get them?

I never knew this was a thing that a dad can let their children starve and be able to take them out. And not pay for their own children to have a reasonable life.

That's crazy a male is allowed to do that. If I refused to buy them clothes and feed them it would be neglect but for the dad to do that knowing the mother can't afford to that's not neglect. I'd literally be charged with neglect but the male has no consequences

Men really do get away with anything and all the benefits.

The courts are crazy.

But I will take this advice he won't not get to see them and I'll phone to make sure he pays THE FULL AMOUNT this time.

But can i report this as neglect he let them have no food for an entire month or clothes, shoes when they outgrew them etc?

@leigh1996

Advice I was given years ago from a Hv was that if he doesn't pay I don't need to let him in the house this was only 4 years ago .. I was just checking it's still correct

He's obligated by law to pay isn't he?

Surely the court would if he demands to see them will make him pay?

Advice I was given years ago from a Hv was that if he doesn't pay I don't need to let him in the house this was only 4 years ago

You don't have to let him in your house (unless he owns part of it)

Do the dc want to see him? You would (probably) be punishing them by not allowing contact.

You need to budget as if you aren't going to get the maintenance. Then if you do it's a nice extra.
You need to contact the CMS to get maintenance sorted.

You need to let you dc see their DF. Yes he's a dick for not paying, but he's their dad.

My ex has 2/3 holidays every year (caravan at Haven types, nothing fancy). I can't even afford a weekend camping. He has a car and 2 motorbikes, yet apparently can't afford to pay maintenance. CMS made a nil assessment . I still encourage the DC to see him.

If you need the money why haven’t you contacted CMS?

You don’t get to stop contact just because he’s not paying. He has a right to see his children whether he pays or not. Even if he never pays anything he can still see them.

That sounds really shit op. You need to get this all sorted formally.

If understand the pay per view remarks if the female has enough money but when she doesn't that truly is awful. It's the kids suffering and the male watches

That's crazy a male is allowed to do that. If I refused to buy them clothes and feed them it would be neglect but for the dad to do that knowing the mother can't afford to that's not neglect. I'd literally be charged with neglect but the male has no consequences

That's a really good point

Make the claim today.

@leigh1996

Advice I was given years ago from a Hv was that if he doesn't pay I don't need to let him in the house this was only 4 years ago .. I was just checking it's still correct

He's obligated by law to pay isn't he?

Surely the court would if he demands to see them will make him pay?

That was never correct advice. My Mum never paid a penny, I still saw her regularly, until I chose not to go. It wasn't right that she didn't give my Dad a financial contribution but he still saw the importance in me having a relationship with her.

But can i report this as neglect he let them have no food for an entire month or clothes, shoes when they outgrew them etc?

It will be viewed legally as both of your responsibility to provide these things for them. Unless he had them living with him for an entire month and provided nothing for them during this time, I'm not sure it would stand as neglect, because you'll be viewed as the other person who can provide these things for them.

@VinterKvinna

That's crazy a male is allowed to do that. If I refused to buy them clothes and feed them it would be neglect but for the dad to do that knowing the mother can't afford to that's not neglect. I'd literally be charged with neglect but the male has no consequences

That's a really good point

Hmm not to be pedantic but it isn't a male/female thing it is a resident/non-resident parent thing regardless of sex

He could have them 50% and therefore no need for a maintenance agreement

Op - do your children want to see their dad?

That's the bottom line. It's about their best interests.

I agree with you absolutely that it's outrageous what nrp (usually the fathers) can get away with. It should be illegal.

You're right OP, it is shit that non-resident parents can neglect their kids with no comeuppance. While it's correct that kids aren't pay per view, there's something messed up about getting to spend time with a child when the rest of the time you couldn't give a shit if they starved.

@WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo

Yeah we have been saved by the new Scottish payment I got them shoes that they desperately needed. Whilst he came in with his own brand new shoes even though it was promised he'd get them.

It would be completely fine if we had enough money but the fact there wasn't enough to budget and my mum who has no money either had to lend us some and use good banks it's utterly disgusting.

I'm not sitting on a pile of money requesting more because my kids are my income or anything it was for basic things.

But lesson learned men can watch their kids have nothing and have everything themselves.

I do remember my friend when we were kids her dad was fined for not paying but I'm guessing that will have changed too.

Have you considered asking for 50/50 contact the maintenance isn't an issue

@chergar yeah totally I didn't think that one through. I'm sure females do the same. In fact I know of some locally to me that do. Sorry I was making it to my situation.

It is annoying for you OP but it sounds like a formal arrangement is better for maintenance in your case. They can backdate it to the date you make the claim. I don't think you ever have to let him in your house though so not sure who told you that.

Of course the parent can still see their children.

@TheVanguardSix

Yes. My ex never paid maintenance. Even with the CMS input, he still never paid. In the States, maintenance and 'visitation' (contact) are linked. Not here in the UK. So if you have a court order in place for contact, maintenance or no maintenance, it must be honoured.

How long does he have to not pay for to not be able to see them?

He can go on and on, never paying a cent. Contact cannot be revoked because of non-payment of maintenance. It was quite a shocker for me to realise that dead-beat parenting is completely supported and endorsed in this country. I'm not a believer in drawing blood from a stone and breaking someone's balls over maintenance, but you'd think a parent would want to be financially supportive. It's sad that we have to beg for it from our exes. It's rather pathetic.

Each state has its own rules regarding child support, but generally, no, you cannot keep someone from seeing their kids because they don't pay child support here, either.

Yes. They are separate issues. No way connected.

@PandaFluff he did but I'm glad it's been said here. He won't get in- that's when he gets back in my head etc.