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Original poster

Miffed about baby clothes gift.

191 replies

HappyCat5 · 23/03/2021 15:18

Sorry loooong rant- please don't hate me for this!!
I have 5 weeks till baby's due date. I'm counting the weeks and days- I'm just so excited.

She will be our first child (and our rainbow baby- we had a first trimester loss before- which hit hard)
I worry that perhaps because of a previous loss, I sometimes may be coming across too precious at times.

I haven't bought her any clothes yet. My family and friends have gifted me lots of clothes (mostly pink) which are adorable and I love them all (even if some aren't the most practical, I hope she gets to wear them all a at least once).

My partner wanted things a little less pink, because he doesn't like the colour much Grin so he has bought her some really cute yellow outfits to break things up.

Again, I love them- I have no preference on colour really (it just so happens people are buying me pink things- her room is lilac and white. I like a lot of baby clothes- there's hardly any I don't find cute).

But my co-workers have recently gifted me boy sleepsuits knowing that we are having a girl.

I was happy that I wasn't at work, because my partner could see the look on my face and I felt that they put very minimal thought into this gift.

There is so much choice for baby clothes online- for so less money (they left price on). I'm finding it hard to understand why they would choose boy clothes for my little girl.

They're not even unisex- I have a few unisex outfits already. And, these clothes just aren't very cute.

Mr. "There's too much pink" himself, wasn't happy with them sending me quite blatant male clothing. He felt that they were deliberately disrespecting me.

I've been trying to justify the reason why they would send these to me- and perhaps it was an oversight and I'm just being precious and ungrateful about the gift- but in the back of my mind, I don't think I am.

I haven't worked there long (had to move from my old job because of Covid) and they're all lovely co-workers btw, I just don't know them too well yet. I even said they didn't have to get me a gift- I wouldn't have minded not having one, and wasn't expecting one.

I'm thinking of sending the clothes on to people I know who have recently had boys- and will obviously ask them first if it's to their tastes or not. Maybe that's a callous move, I don't know- but they shouldn't go to waste, just because I don't want them.

I am unsure whether I should be feeling quite as bitter as I do over this gift. Am I just being a bit bratty about this?

OP posts:
Coldilox · 23/03/2021 15:22

What is it about them that makes them boy sleep suits?

SleepySlugs · 23/03/2021 15:22

How are they not unisex? Do the say "Boy" or "Mr". Think you need to be more descriptive of the actual sleep suits.

Curiosity101 · 23/03/2021 15:22

Surely it's just a mistake and they think you're having a little boy? Either way, if you don't like them you don't have to use them. Passing them onto someone who can use them would make sense 🙂

PandaFluff · 23/03/2021 15:23

What do you mean by "boy clothes" can you describe them? Maybe the person who bought them saw them as unisex? Maybe they were on offer so they could get you more? Maybe they thought you were having a boy? To be honest if they are just sleepsuits they will probably be handy as you will get through looooads!

PandaFluff · 23/03/2021 15:24

But yeah if you don't like them sell them on ebay or pass them on.

MazekeenSmith · 23/03/2021 15:24

It's a bit odd but nothing to get upset about
Put them in a drawer and use them when she's puked and pooed through all the nice clothes

TeckanandMultra · 23/03/2021 15:24

There is no such thing as boy clothes and girl clothes, unless they explicitly state "little miss" or "little mister" or such.

LadyCatStark · 23/03/2021 15:25

I imagine someone’s got it wrong and thought you were having a boy. I can’t imagine anyone would send ‘boys’ clothes on purpose. Can’t you return them if you don’t like them?

Ineedaneasteregg · 23/03/2021 15:25

I'm guessing that they just got muddled up about the sex of your baby.
While it is the most important thing for you it will only be a post it note in their lives.
Don't stress or over think it.

PandaFluff · 23/03/2021 15:25

@TeckanandMultra

There is no such thing as boy clothes and girl clothes, unless they explicitly state "little miss" or "little mister" or such.
I agree, unless they say Daddy's little boy etc on them I don't see what the issue is.
Sprockerdilerock · 23/03/2021 15:26

What makes them boy clothes?

I admit I've bought a few things from the 'boys' range in shops even though we dont know what we are having, because they aren't really boys at all! They just have animals on/are blue or green.

Does it say boys on the label??

Xyzzzzz · 23/03/2021 15:26

I wouldn’t make a big deal. I’d just either look to return or pass to someone else. I doubt they did it on purpose.

LST · 23/03/2021 15:26

They aren't 'boy' clothes. They're baby clothes.

cabingirl · 23/03/2021 15:26

You don't have to use anything you don't like.

But also these sleepsuits are going to be wee'd poo'd and vomited on multiple times - once you've done several washes with them and are trying to put your little one, who will be acting like a wild octopus, back into an item of clean clothing in a sleep-deprived stupor you really won't care about the look/colour.

Hardbackwriter · 23/03/2021 15:26

Am I just being a bit bratty about this?

Yes. They might not be to your taste (and it sounds like your taste very much isn't mine - that's how the world works, we all like different things!) but that doesn't mean the person who chose them didn't think they were a nice gift, so it isn't any sort of 'insult'. And unless they actually have the word 'boy' or similar on them a sleepsuit is inherently unisex.

StellaKowalski · 23/03/2021 15:27

How are they 'boy' sleep suits?

merryhouse · 23/03/2021 15:28

It probably hasn't occurred to them that they're "boy clothes".

(My dad - born in 1931, first child in 1962 - bought Winnie the Pooh babygros for S1. One of them was bright - and I mean Barbie colour - pink.)

Adult women wear blue, a lot, so anyone who doesn't have much to do with children probably wouldn't think twice about it. Dinosaurs are not exclusively male, and women can drive trains and use diggers. Strike a blow for equality! Grin

OlmostOlwyn · 23/03/2021 15:28

Sorry, but yes. You're being precious. What is "quite blatant male clothing" exactly? Do you mean they are blue? Or does it require a penis to operate?

I hate gender stereotypes and the way this filters through into "girls" and "boys" clothing. If you want to dress your baby in pink all the time then that's fine, but don't expect everyone to have the same view. It's just clothes, everyone needs them and all colours are for everyone.

Your daughter will have enough to deal with when she's older trying to find clothes that don't have sparkles and lace trim and fake pockets and aren't skinny fit. Try Let Clothes Be Clothes on Facebook and try and chill out a bit.

LagunaBubbles · 23/03/2021 15:29

Well it all depends on what they look like, if they're blue whats wrong with that?

GrumpyHoonMain · 23/03/2021 15:29

@HappyCat5

Sorry loooong rant- please don't hate me for this!! I have 5 weeks till baby's due date. I'm counting the weeks and days- I'm just so excited.

She will be our first child (and our rainbow baby- we had a first trimester loss before- which hit hard)
I worry that perhaps because of a previous loss, I sometimes may be coming across too precious at times.

I haven't bought her any clothes yet. My family and friends have gifted me lots of clothes (mostly pink) which are adorable and I love them all (even if some aren't the most practical, I hope she gets to wear them all a at least once).

My partner wanted things a little less pink, because he doesn't like the colour much Grin so he has bought her some really cute yellow outfits to break things up.

Again, I love them- I have no preference on colour really (it just so happens people are buying me pink things- her room is lilac and white. I like a lot of baby clothes- there's hardly any I don't find cute).

But my co-workers have recently gifted me boy sleepsuits knowing that we are having a girl.

I was happy that I wasn't at work, because my partner could see the look on my face and I felt that they put very minimal thought into this gift.

There is so much choice for baby clothes online- for so less money (they left price on). I'm finding it hard to understand why they would choose boy clothes for my little girl.

They're not even unisex- I have a few unisex outfits already. And, these clothes just aren't very cute.

Mr. "There's too much pink" himself, wasn't happy with them sending me quite blatant male clothing. He felt that they were deliberately disrespecting me.

I've been trying to justify the reason why they would send these to me- and perhaps it was an oversight and I'm just being precious and ungrateful about the gift- but in the back of my mind, I don't think I am.

I haven't worked there long (had to move from my old job because of Covid) and they're all lovely co-workers btw, I just don't know them too well yet. I even said they didn't have to get me a gift- I wouldn't have minded not having one, and wasn't expecting one.

I'm thinking of sending the clothes on to people I know who have recently had boys- and will obviously ask them first if it's to their tastes or not. Maybe that's a callous move, I don't know- but they shouldn't go to waste, just because I don't want them.

I am unsure whether I should be feeling quite as bitter as I do over this gift. Am I just being a bit bratty about this?

Yes I think you are being bratty but it’s ok you’re pregnant. My advice as someone who also had a rainbow baby is to be flexible with things - had my son just before Lockdown so all the shops I wanted to buy stuff from closed and for several months all the supermakets stocked was plain stuff. I had put so much stock in buying him clothes I couldn’t cope and I had a bit of a breakdown over it.

Don’t let it get that far. Just keep the clothes and save them for night time or as spare clothes in case of poonamis.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 23/03/2021 15:30

Did you tell them your dh doesn't like pink?

Kind coworkers have clubbed together and got something for your baby, thats very thoughtful of them. You are being a wee bit bratty.

No such thing as male and female baby clothes.

orpah · 23/03/2021 15:30

Welcome to mumsnet OP! Smile

fellrunner85 · 23/03/2021 15:30

How are they boy clothes?

If they say "I'm a boy" on them then your colleagues probably just got confused. I really doubt they're deliberately "disrespecting" you.

But if the clothes don't say "boy" explicitly and are blue or green or whatever, then they're just clothes. I suspect you're overthinking somewhat.

crispychicken12 · 23/03/2021 15:31

Trust me, when you're tired and baby's had their third poop explosion of the day you won't care what colour sleepsuit she's wearing haha

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 23/03/2021 15:31

Unless they say on them “baby boy” or similar then they are unisex. They are not to your taste. That’s fine. Pass them on. When I had DD1 my colleagues bought me an outfit for her that was not at all to my taste. I passed it on to a friend. It is not normal to be so bitter about it. Best of luck.