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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Miffed about baby clothes gift.

191 replies

HappyCat5 · 23/03/2021 15:18

Sorry loooong rant- please don't hate me for this!!
I have 5 weeks till baby's due date. I'm counting the weeks and days- I'm just so excited.

She will be our first child (and our rainbow baby- we had a first trimester loss before- which hit hard)
I worry that perhaps because of a previous loss, I sometimes may be coming across too precious at times.

I haven't bought her any clothes yet. My family and friends have gifted me lots of clothes (mostly pink) which are adorable and I love them all (even if some aren't the most practical, I hope she gets to wear them all a at least once).

My partner wanted things a little less pink, because he doesn't like the colour much Grin so he has bought her some really cute yellow outfits to break things up.

Again, I love them- I have no preference on colour really (it just so happens people are buying me pink things- her room is lilac and white. I like a lot of baby clothes- there's hardly any I don't find cute).

But my co-workers have recently gifted me boy sleepsuits knowing that we are having a girl.

I was happy that I wasn't at work, because my partner could see the look on my face and I felt that they put very minimal thought into this gift.

There is so much choice for baby clothes online- for so less money (they left price on). I'm finding it hard to understand why they would choose boy clothes for my little girl.

They're not even unisex- I have a few unisex outfits already. And, these clothes just aren't very cute.

Mr. "There's too much pink" himself, wasn't happy with them sending me quite blatant male clothing. He felt that they were deliberately disrespecting me.

I've been trying to justify the reason why they would send these to me- and perhaps it was an oversight and I'm just being precious and ungrateful about the gift- but in the back of my mind, I don't think I am.

I haven't worked there long (had to move from my old job because of Covid) and they're all lovely co-workers btw, I just don't know them too well yet. I even said they didn't have to get me a gift- I wouldn't have minded not having one, and wasn't expecting one.

I'm thinking of sending the clothes on to people I know who have recently had boys- and will obviously ask them first if it's to their tastes or not. Maybe that's a callous move, I don't know- but they shouldn't go to waste, just because I don't want them.

I am unsure whether I should be feeling quite as bitter as I do over this gift. Am I just being a bit bratty about this?

OP posts:
Greenmarmalade · 23/03/2021 15:58
  1. They have forgotten and think you’re having a boy
  1. They are unisex babygros, just not floral or pink
BrumBoo · 23/03/2021 15:59

They'll probably be mortified when you announce the birth.

Mortified for giving a girl blue clothes? Jesus, I'd think it wouldn't cross their mind for a split second if they were a normal person.

roarfeckingroarr · 23/03/2021 16:00

You're being very unreasonable. Very.

NoLeafClover · 23/03/2021 16:00

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

This is my boy wearing his sisters handme down sleepsuit with, gasp, pink trim and love hearts on the sleeve.
Feck, be very careful, his penis might just drop right off!

Love how tightly he's holding on to his Sophie Grin. I once tried to remove Sophie from my nephew's hand. Nearly lost a finger WinkGrin

MaggieFS · 23/03/2021 16:00

Sounds to me like someone's got confused about the sex of your baby. Probably had a chat like 'we must get Cat a present for her baby girl' 'oh, I thought it was a boy' 'oh is it, oh phew, thanks, I couldn't remember and was just about to get her pink gifts, phew'.

Seriously don't read anything into it. If you have plenty of stuff you prefer in that size just pass it on. Or just use them anyway. I've got a DD after a DS and we have some nice new stuff for occasions but mostly she's quite happy in DS' old stuff.

IslaMann · 23/03/2021 16:01

Just use them as night clothes.

Unless you think she'll grow a penis ....

user64332 · 23/03/2021 16:03

Unless they say brother or little boy or something on, then you are sexist. Did you mention you've been given lots of pink clothes and your DH doesn't like pink? Have you posted lots of pink baby clothes photos on social media? Maybe the gifter also hates pink and gendered baby clothes and was deliberately trying to go for something different. I think if the clothes said boy, or little dude on the you would have mentioned it in the OP.

My son wore loads of florals/butterflies/pinks etc as a baby, and they weren't even all hand me downs, I bought some new as I was deliberately trying to balance out all the blue everyone else bought.

Swordfish1 · 23/03/2021 16:03

Honestly YAB a bit U. How are they obviously boys clothes?

if I were you i'd keep them, this is your first dc and honestly you probably have no idea how many babygros you are going to get through! I certainly didn't.
On some days with poo explosions and baby sick you might get through a fair few a day and by that point you honestly won't care what colour or what writing or print is on them.

Hardbackwriter · 23/03/2021 16:04

@Babyg1995

There is such a thing as boy and girl clothes ffs only on mumsnet if I knew someone was having a girl I wouldn't buy them blue sleep suits . It would be colours like yellow , cream or yes pink because its a girl do people really but girls blue sheepskins from the boys department in shops because they are separate .
These are blue but surely unisex - would you really not put a baby girl in them?
Miffed about baby clothes gift.
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 23/03/2021 16:04

One of my DDs was mistaken for a boy when she was in a pink dress. My theory was her lack of hair until she oneish!

She prefers to wear black, navy and grey now, at age 9. (Leggings and hoody)

Aprilx · 23/03/2021 16:05

Four pages on and OP still hasn’t come back to explain what on earth she means by “boy clothes” when it comes self to newborn sleep suits and similar.

LoisWilkersonslastnerve · 23/03/2021 16:05

Sounds like they didn't know or forgot it is a boy. Just pass them on if you don't like them and thank them for their gift. People overcomplicate gifts imho. As for the pp comments about boy/girl clothing, yes in an ideal world we wouldn't care about gender stereotypes but not everyone is quite there yet so if you want to go down the traditional route crack on. Just accept not everyone will agree and you will get gifts in styles and colours you won't like.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/03/2021 16:06

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

This is my boy wearing his sisters handme down sleepsuit with, gasp, pink trim and love hearts on the sleeve.
Dear MN, I just found a poster who put her daughter in blue stripes and her son in pink trim. Aibu to think that someone should intervene and save the children from the terrible confusion they must experience on whether they're going to grow a willy or have one drop off!!
youvegottenminuteslynn · 23/03/2021 16:06

@RozHuntleysStump

Aww. I remember how sensitive you can be when pregnant. I think it’s mean of them and do t blame you for being peeved. Keep them aside for when the child has a bad tummy episode. You won’t be waiting long for that. Or just send them to charity.
Mean of them?

How exactly? You think they've deliberately bought clothes they don't think OP will like? For what reason?

Do you not think it's more likely they either thought she's having a boy or, like the majority of posters on this thread alone, have a less rigid idea of gendered clothing for newborn babies?

Why assume the worst of coworkers who were kind enough to sort a gift for OP?

Yes OP, bratty I'm afraid!

Doveyouknow · 23/03/2021 16:06

They probably just made a mistake and thought you were having a boy. It's no big deal, just say thank you and either keep them as spares or exchange them for something closer to your taste.

updownroundandround · 23/03/2021 16:07

OP, YABVVU if you actually think that your co-workers would have firstly, given money and secondly, have deliberately chosen to offend you ! (a person who they don't even know well)

Honestly ? I think you're definitely hormonally challenged Grin

They've either got the sex of the baby wrong (or the place they ordered it from got the order wrong by accident), or you have differing tastes in baby attire.

Choices are

  1. Ask for a gift receipt
  2. Try to get an exchange with wherever they ordered it from.
  3. Donate to friends/ charity (which may be a little tricky if they ask for pics showing baby wearing clothes Confused
TitusPullo · 23/03/2021 16:07

@SleepingStandingUp - definitely, I’ll make sure to report @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz to 101!

SleepingStandingUp · 23/03/2021 16:08

[quote TitusPullo]**@SleepingStandingUp* - definitely, I’ll make sure to report @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz* to 101![/quote]
Thanks him 😌 😂

LAgeDeRaisin · 23/03/2021 16:08

YAB massively unreasonable. Just because you have a weird hang up about what colours are okay for male or female babies doesn't make it okay to call someone disrespectful who very thoughtfully bought you a gift!

We have a baby girl and she wears all the colours of the rainbow and plays with all different toys including traditionally sex specific toys like dolls and cars and tractors. We don't want her to have any hangups about what girls can wear or do.

Babies are babies. It's not offensive to receive something in a colour you don't happen to like. You don't need to use it but it's not disrespectful. And many baby girl clothes are silly and impractical. In the case of dresses for an older baby of crawling age, just plain dangerous. They kneel on them and then face plant and scream. Dresses aren't to make the baby happy they're to make the parents happy.

Popcornbetty · 23/03/2021 16:08

If they have tags on could you take back and exchange for a different style? Shops usually tske back without issue if you say are unwanted gift so dont hace receipt and they will give you either a credit note or let you exchange for something else.

Popcornbetty · 23/03/2021 16:09

have*

pheasantsinlove · 23/03/2021 16:11

@Hardbackwriter I wouldn't buy them for a gift knowing that the baby would be a girl.

DuggeeHugPlease · 23/03/2021 16:11

I see where you're coming from and think they must have just got confused.
I bought mainly neutrals even though I knew I was having a girl. I didn't worry if it was from the girls or boys section - one of my fave outfits was green dungarees with dinosaurs on.

But having said that there are bright neutral outfits that could be boys or girls and there are some outfits that seem more suited to boys. Sadly they're often duller or darker colours and it's a little strange to actively choose them as a present for a girl.

I always buy truly neutral/unisex outfits as gifts because I'm also not a fan of all pink /all blue.

OP can you return them and swap for something else?

PandaFluff · 23/03/2021 16:12

I really want to see these clothes now

GroggyLegs · 23/03/2021 16:14

Why on earth would your partner suggest your colleagues have deliberately set out to upset you?

It's either a mistake, or they liked the blue sleepsuits. The end.

Take a pic of your beautiful baby in the least offensive one to send to colleagues, then either keep them for nighttime or gift to a friend.
Sleepsuits only last a few months at that age anyway.

Congratulations on your rainbow 🌈