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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Miffed about baby clothes gift.

191 replies

HappyCat5 · 23/03/2021 15:18

Sorry loooong rant- please don't hate me for this!!
I have 5 weeks till baby's due date. I'm counting the weeks and days- I'm just so excited.

She will be our first child (and our rainbow baby- we had a first trimester loss before- which hit hard)
I worry that perhaps because of a previous loss, I sometimes may be coming across too precious at times.

I haven't bought her any clothes yet. My family and friends have gifted me lots of clothes (mostly pink) which are adorable and I love them all (even if some aren't the most practical, I hope she gets to wear them all a at least once).

My partner wanted things a little less pink, because he doesn't like the colour much Grin so he has bought her some really cute yellow outfits to break things up.

Again, I love them- I have no preference on colour really (it just so happens people are buying me pink things- her room is lilac and white. I like a lot of baby clothes- there's hardly any I don't find cute).

But my co-workers have recently gifted me boy sleepsuits knowing that we are having a girl.

I was happy that I wasn't at work, because my partner could see the look on my face and I felt that they put very minimal thought into this gift.

There is so much choice for baby clothes online- for so less money (they left price on). I'm finding it hard to understand why they would choose boy clothes for my little girl.

They're not even unisex- I have a few unisex outfits already. And, these clothes just aren't very cute.

Mr. "There's too much pink" himself, wasn't happy with them sending me quite blatant male clothing. He felt that they were deliberately disrespecting me.

I've been trying to justify the reason why they would send these to me- and perhaps it was an oversight and I'm just being precious and ungrateful about the gift- but in the back of my mind, I don't think I am.

I haven't worked there long (had to move from my old job because of Covid) and they're all lovely co-workers btw, I just don't know them too well yet. I even said they didn't have to get me a gift- I wouldn't have minded not having one, and wasn't expecting one.

I'm thinking of sending the clothes on to people I know who have recently had boys- and will obviously ask them first if it's to their tastes or not. Maybe that's a callous move, I don't know- but they shouldn't go to waste, just because I don't want them.

I am unsure whether I should be feeling quite as bitter as I do over this gift. Am I just being a bit bratty about this?

OP posts:
Holly60 · 23/03/2021 17:02

@TeckanandMultra

There is no such thing as boy clothes and girl clothes, unless they explicitly state "little miss" or "little mister" or such.
Are you seriously suggesting that you would look at a baby pink sleepsuit with ditsy print flowers in pastel colours, white broderie anglaise and a sleeping bunny embroidered in peach and cream and think ‘ooh what a lovely sleep suit for my son/grandson/nephew??? Hmm
Holly60 · 23/03/2021 17:10

OP YANBU! Dress your new baby girl however you want and pass the clothes on to someone else. There are definitely clothes for girls and clothes for boys. There are also unisex clothes, and it is very obvious which is which.

Deadringer · 23/03/2021 17:11

@MazekeenSmith

It's a bit odd but nothing to get upset about Put them in a drawer and use them when she's puked and pooed through all the nice clothes
This
Lalapurple · 23/03/2021 17:11

Just say thank you- and pass them on to someone else if you don't like them.

I doubt it's deliberate- either the person buying it didn't know the gender or was wrong, or maybe they thought the clothes were neutral. Would be a very weird way to try and deliberately upset someone.

People are weird about gender and clothes. I once had someone argue with me about the gender of my own baby because he was wearing white... (which I thought was neutral?)

PaperMonster · 23/03/2021 17:16

What are boy sleepsuits?

OverTheRainbow88 · 23/03/2021 17:18

Maybe they think you’re having a boy, maybe they heard you moaning about pink clothes.

Soon you’ll come to learn that most people don’t care about others kids and they probably didn’t listen to what sex your baby will be.

DipSwimSwoosh · 23/03/2021 17:20

What is a boy sleep suit? Do boys sleep differently?

arethereanyleftatall · 23/03/2021 17:20

Op has disappeared people. That kind of gives us a clue that this isn't actually real. Set the torch paper alight, and off you go. How droll.

Holly60 · 23/03/2021 17:21

@PaperMonster

What are boy sleepsuits?
Sleepsuits that are for boys
PineappleTart · 23/03/2021 17:22

Suspect OP won't be back but in the off chance then yes I think you're being massively unreasonable. Most people I know who've had baby girls have been inundated with pink fluffy outfits and have got sick of them, I generally buy more neutral outfits, particularly fond of animals, characters or dinosaurs. Suspect they've heard you say something about your partner not being keen on everything pink.

Holly60 · 23/03/2021 17:28

I’m so incredibly irrationally irritated by all the posters pretending that they are unaware that baby clothes are gendered. The prevalence of ‘predator’ animals on boys clothes and ‘prey’ animals on girls clothes is a separate matter but let’s not shut that debate down by making believe that baby clothes are all gender neutral.

pheasantsinlove · 23/03/2021 17:30

Well said @Holly60

PandaFluff · 23/03/2021 17:33

Until we see the baby clothes or get a description of them it's hard to judge

TitusPullo · 23/03/2021 17:34

Maybe if more people viewed clothes as gender neutral @Holly60 it would cause a lot less problems.

Crankley · 23/03/2021 17:37

My eldest niece was mostly clothed in denim, brown, dark green and navy blue as a baby, as my sister's fight against the onslaught of pink tweeness from GMs on both sides. There really are no male clothes for babies, or very few ie with writing on them.

Gumandbass · 23/03/2021 17:39

Keep em on hand. Because when the day comes (and it will come) you're baby has puked & shit on everything & you have nothing clean left. You can pull them out.

Original poster
HappyCat5 · 23/03/2021 17:40

Thank you for all the responses!
I've been reading them through and now completely agree that I'm in the wrong here.

As I did state though, my coworkers are really nice people (so I've doubted them for no reason- other than my own insecurities). I've moved from a job where I was very close to my colleagues (still am), into a job where I'm still getting to know them and they're still getting to know me.

So you're all correct in that I should cut them some slack and be way more appreciative than I have been.

I think pregnancy hormones have made me more than unreasonable. I'm also a bit of a pushover at work (completelt my own fault- I don't know how to say 'no') and sometimes it makes it seem that I am unappreciated (if I wasn't such a wet lettuce- I probably wouldn't feel this way).

Really sorry if I have offended a small handful of people on this matter. It was not my intention. And I shouldn't be so insensitive.

OP posts:
mummywithhermini · 23/03/2021 17:45

My mum bought newborn dd size 12 month baby clothes when she was a newborn . Some people just honestly don't think . It's likely they didn't mean any harm.
Are the clothes a posh or eco brand? You could sell them and make the money back or just keep them in case you accidentally run out of clothes ( maybe a poo accident or huge 🤮) and need some extra emergency baby clothes?

VickyEadieofThigh · 23/03/2021 17:48

As someone else said - if people didn't see clothes as "gendered", we'd all be a lot better off and children wouldn't get confused.

GreenLeafTurnip · 23/03/2021 17:48

Trust me, you won't give a toss what sleepsuits look like as long as they don't have vomit, wee or poo on them 🤣 keep them, you'll need them!

MintLampShade · 23/03/2021 17:49

@GreenLeafTurnip

Trust me, you won't give a toss what sleepsuits look like as long as they don't have vomit, wee or poo on them 🤣 keep them, you'll need them!
Literally this!! ^^ Grin
00100001 · 23/03/2021 17:55

@Babyg1995

There is such a thing as boy and girl clothes ffs only on mumsnet if I knew someone was having a girl I wouldn't buy them blue sleep suits . It would be colours like yellow , cream or yes pink because its a girl do people really but girls blue sheepskins from the boys department in shops because they are separate .
Yes. There is.

But being blue doesn't make it boys

SleepingStandingUp · 23/03/2021 17:56

@Holly60

I’m so incredibly irrationally irritated by all the posters pretending that they are unaware that baby clothes are gendered. The prevalence of ‘predator’ animals on boys clothes and ‘prey’ animals on girls clothes is a separate matter but let’s not shut that debate down by making believe that baby clothes are all gender neutral.
But the girl clothes have prey on them Vs the boys have predators because people keep insisting on dressing the girls in prey and the boys in predators.

My first had lions and stripes and reds and greens and oranges. He happened to be a boy but we didn't know until he came out. He also has a princess dress, leggings and wore tights.

Twins got his hand me downs plus passed on clothes so had a ton of girl bits too.

They survive as gendered clothing only so long as we buy into it

seensome · 23/03/2021 17:57

You could wait for the stores to open and ask if you could exchange, I did this even without a receipt with tags on, explain it's a baby gift and for wrong gender, worth a try.
If not just gift them to someone with a baby boy.

HikeForward · 23/03/2021 18:00

What are ‘boy’ clothes for a newborn?

Blue? Dinosaurs, diggers, trains on the front?

They’re sleepsuits, why care what colour or pattern they are?