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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to question the cleanliness of my nurse friends houses?!

197 replies

Iseewhatshappeninghere · 20/03/2021 12:33

I have 2 nurse friends, both separate families.
Both don't seem to clean their houses.
I'm not talking about a bit of muck in the corner or dirty skirting boards, you know "forgotten or out of sight areas" , I'm taking about thick thick thick dust on TV stands, windowsills, side tables anywhere really, mouldy windowsils/windows, bathroom sinks caked in makeup, baths with multiple black rings, you get the idea.
Its never really bothered me much before but with this pandemic I guess I've just noticed it more and my partner is quite concerned about it.
Am I being unreasonable to be a bit concerned?
I'm not a nurse, the closest I've been is a care worker but I would have thought cleaning would be quite a big thing considering how much I've been told over the years about dirt and dust harbouring germs and all sorts.
One of the nurses I've know for 10+ years and she's always lived like it so I've never really questioned it before. The other one has just moved house and we just assumed they were just concentrating on moving but they have now moved and moved all the dusty dirty items to the new house.
My partner says its not normal to live in such dirty houses, I've told him he needs to relax a bit about it as it's not like we live there.

OP posts:
movingadvice · 20/03/2021 12:37

Do they work 12 hour shifts?

VettiyaIruken · 20/03/2021 12:38

A dirty home doesn't pose a risk to their patients.They aren't being nursed there. I'm sure they'll be following proper procedures in their workplace. (Tbh, having worked in a hospital, don't look too closely at how clean they actually are is my advice!)

Nurses work long hours. Maybe they're too tired or maybe they don't care.
What's your partner worried about?

vodkaredbullgirl · 20/03/2021 12:42

After a 12 1/2 hr night shift, the last thing I want to do is to clean.

thecatneuterer · 20/03/2021 12:43

Dust harbours germs? I've never heard that and it sounds very unlikely. I know it's dead skin cells and all that - yukky when you think about it - but not a health hazard.

BitOfFun · 20/03/2021 12:46

Do other adults live there? Do they clean?

dementedpixie · 20/03/2021 12:46

Why is your partner concerned?
Maybe they are boosting their immune systems (that's what I tell myself when I see dust I can't be bothered removing Grin)

Original poster
Iseewhatshappeninghere · 20/03/2021 12:47

No neither work long shifts, one is technically a single mum and the other has a husband.
The one with the husband, her husband constantly complains to my partner that she does nothing round the house, he does all the cooking, childcare and everything around his full time job, whilst she works, reads books, crafts.
I'm not sure really, I think it's because his mother brought him up in a show home type setting and the fact he has heath problems and his nurses drill into him about cleanliness every month.
I definitely don't want to look to closely at hospital cleanliness 🙈

OP posts:
Mucklemore · 20/03/2021 12:47

Why's your partner so invested in the cleanliness of their houses? Just don't go round there.

I know lots of nurses. Some have clean houses, some not so much. Just like any other profession.

Thesearmsofmine · 20/03/2021 12:48

What are you concerned about? People can do as they please in their own home.

audweb · 20/03/2021 12:49

I was a cleaner once. A really good one. I also worked in care supporting people to look after their houses. My house has never looked like a show home but I’ve always been professional in my work. Also technically a single mum? I am one, cleaning dust is never the top of my priorities between juggling work and my child.

Cattitudes · 20/03/2021 12:49

Why are you in their houses? If it bothers you then just don't go to their houses.

CoffeeRequiredNow · 20/03/2021 12:50

Do you think they might have been a bit busy over the last few months helping the NHS deal with a global pandemic and perhaps a bit of dust is not particularly high up their priority list perhaps???

XenoBitch · 20/03/2021 12:51

When I visit a friend in their home, I am there to see them and not look for dust etc. Same when they come to visit me. As long as there is somewhere to sit, and a clean cup (or wine glass!), they could be a hoarder for all I care.

Michaelangelo467 · 20/03/2021 12:52

I wouldn’t want someone hoiking up their judgy pants at my house. Keep your partner away!

Reallybadidea · 20/03/2021 12:53

Another thinly-veiled nurse-bashing thread Hmm

I wonder what they say about you and your dh behind your back.

NormanStangerson · 20/03/2021 12:54

@Iseewhatshappeninghere

No neither work long shifts, one is technically a single mum and the other has a husband. The one with the husband, her husband constantly complains to my partner that she does nothing round the house, he does all the cooking, childcare and everything around his full time job, whilst she works, reads books, crafts. I'm not sure really, I think it's because his mother brought him up in a show home type setting and the fact he has heath problems and his nurses drill into him about cleanliness every month. I definitely don't want to look to closely at hospital cleanliness 🙈
You don’t sound like a very nice friend Sad
Mylovelyhorsee · 20/03/2021 12:54

Home life and work life are totally different. They have to be clean at work, there is no one at home forcing them to.

Not sure what it’s got to do with your partner? He sounds very judgemental.

IndecentFeminist · 20/03/2021 12:55

What an odd thread. The curious interest in someone else's cleanliness, the 'technically' single parent, the hard done by husband, the importance of their professions.

I feel like there is some kind of point that I'm missing.

Hankunamatata · 20/03/2021 12:55

Dust doesnt doesnt mean dirty its dust.

Original poster
Iseewhatshappeninghere · 20/03/2021 12:55

Technically a single mum because her partner is in prison.
Before lockdown we would alternate dinners weekly round theirs and ours.
But he's started feeling uncomfortable after the last time.
I don't think his nurse is helping with the constant lectures on corona, cleanliness and that he's classed as vulnerable.

OP posts:
maddiemookins16mum · 20/03/2021 12:57

There’s no excuse for filthy houses, 12 hr shift or not. There’s time when they’re not on shift to clean. Pretty sure there’s also plenty of others working long hours who are not nurses who manage to keep a clean house.

dementedpixie · 20/03/2021 12:57

Don't go there then

EarringsandLipstick · 20/03/2021 12:58

Unbelievable.

If you / your partner don't like their houses, don't visit (how are you doing so atm anyway?)

Their jobs as nurses have no bearing on how they clean their houses.

Goady post, nasty friend (that's you, by the way)

EarringsandLipstick · 20/03/2021 12:58

@maddiemookins16mum

There’s no excuse for filthy houses, 12 hr shift or not. There’s time when they’re not on shift to clean. Pretty sure there’s also plenty of others working long hours who are not nurses who manage to keep a clean house.
Sure.

But what business is it of anyone else other than those who live in the house?

Original poster
Iseewhatshappeninghere · 20/03/2021 12:59

Why has this turned into nurse bashing?
I'm curious to other people's opinions on this. Like I said I've known one of them for years, she's always been like it. It's never stopped me being her friend or seeing her.
I'm confused to why I'm not a very nice friend Norman?

OP posts: