AIBU to question the cleanliness of my nurse friends houses?!

[Iseewhatshappeninghere]

I have 2 nurse friends, both separate families.
Both don't seem to clean their houses.
I'm not talking about a bit of muck in the corner or dirty skirting boards, you know "forgotten or out of sight areas" , I'm taking about thick thick thick dust on TV stands, windowsills, side tables anywhere really, mouldy windowsils/windows, bathroom sinks caked in makeup, baths with multiple black rings, you get the idea.
Its never really bothered me much before but with this pandemic I guess I've just noticed it more and my partner is quite concerned about it.
Am I being unreasonable to be a bit concerned?
I'm not a nurse, the closest I've been is a care worker but I would have thought cleaning would be quite a big thing considering how much I've been told over the years about dirt and dust harbouring germs and all sorts.
One of the nurses I've know for 10+ years and she's always lived like it so I've never really questioned it before. The other one has just moved house and we just assumed they were just concentrating on moving but they have now moved and moved all the dusty dirty items to the new house.
My partner says its not normal to live in such dirty houses, I've told him he needs to relax a bit about it as it's not like we live there.

I wrote a long post about how unbelievably wrong and nasty this was and then decided ot wasn't worth it.

No problem OP tell your nursery friends your thoughts I shouldn't think this will ever be an issue again because you won't be invited.

Oh and BTW I am sure its a barrel of laughs being a nurse and having a partner in prison (whatever the situation) I'm sure your partners judgement on their cleanliness just adds to all the fun .

Nurse not nursery. Should not type when irritated.

YANBU but be careful how you word your concerns. When we were house hunting, we got shown around a the house of a nurse and I remember hanging when the estate agent opened the front door at the stench that came and engulfed me and the husband. You couldn't see the floor or any surfaces since they were covered in dirty clothes, dishes, books, more dirty clothes, etc. I couldn't believe it. The EA said the owner was a busy person and left it there but you could tell he was embarrassed himself. He opened the utility room door and we heard a scratching sound and we said we'd seen enough and walked out. I understand nurses are busy but so is the rest of the world. Unless you have a disorder or something, no one should live in filthy. I'm afraid I'd judge your nurse friends. I don't care how long they work.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Nice one op.
I'm glad you're not my judgemental friend.

I'm confused to why I'm not a very nice friend Norman?

Really OP?

You think it's the marker of a caring, kind friend to post a thread questioning your friends' hygiene in their homes, suggesting they should know better as they are nurses, and implying they are some kind of a risk to you 🤷🏻‍♀️

From your posts I feel sorry for the single parent, partner in prison working long shifts as a nurse, friend.
She's probably finding life very tough at the moment.

I agree don't go around if the dust bothers you and your DH.

What an unpleasant person you are! Do your " friends" a favour and stay away from their homes.

@cerealgamechanger

YANBU but be careful how you word your concerns. When we were house hunting, we got shown around a the house of a nurse and I remember hanging when the estate agent opened the front door at the stench that came and engulfed me and the husband. You couldn't see the floor or any surfaces since they were covered in dirty clothes, dishes, books, more dirty clothes, etc. I couldn't believe it. The EA said the owner was a busy person and left it there but you could tell he was embarrassed himself. He opened the utility room door and we heard a scratching sound and we said we'd seen enough and walked out. I understand nurses are busy but so is the rest of the world. Unless you have a disorder or something, no one should live in filthy. I'm afraid I'd judge your nurse friends. I don't care how long they work.

Gagging at the stench**

What are you doing going there in the first place ?

What are you ‘concerned’ about?

I wasn't aware that housekeeping was part of the requirements to be a nurse. Must have missed that part of the code. I don't get why you had to mention that they are nurses. They could be any other worker.

It's not really any of your business is it? Unless you are eating or sleeping there.

I guess when you spend all day doing the important stuff, like nursing, the unimportant stuff, like cleaning goes to the bottom of the list

You are judgemental as fuck, well suited to your partner though.

The nurses husband sounds like an asshole too.

They aren't your friends, friends don't look down their noses at each other.

Be glad you can't go there at the moment.

I never did much housework - my OH had a lower dirt threshold than me, and he would have cleaned before I even thought it was dirty!

So, you have a friend who has a demanding job, a child to look after and a partner in prison, and your boyfriend is whinging that she doesn't do enough housework?

Sheesh!

Dust ✅
Mould on window seal ✅
Grubby sink ✅
Grubby Bath ✅

Currently couldn't give a shine shit what anyone thinks. It's been a tough year, I've worked extremely hard when I'm not furloughed and have lost the very small cleaning mojo I had somewhere in the past few months.

Judge away Op and the others

Fancy judging a single mum who is a nurse because there’s a bit of mould on her windows

You're wondering how the thread turned into nurse bashing?
Really?
Wasn't that your aim all along?
You aren't their friend. Do them a favour and dump them.

You've been warned. Don't come back to complain when he shows you the same lack of understanding.

I don’t know anyone who died of dust poisoning inside their own living room. “Did you hear john’s dead, he died after a long and brave battle with dust, but it got him in the end” is not a phrase you commonly hear.

I do however know food poisoning can be really serious, so eating off dirty plates or drinking from dirty glasses would not be acceptable. Presumably if the house is dusty your worry is that no cleaning in the kitchen is done properly either. So I can understand the concerns.

Sitting in a living room with dust around na not so much of a problem. Drinking beer from the bottle fine. Eating there is a nope from me.

My cat occasionally dusts my units with her tail. Which is helpful, thanks.

I can understand noticing your friends' houses being so dirty but I'm not sure why it's relevant that they're nurses?

Why are you visiting their houses at the moment?

It is literally fuck all to do with you. Stop going to their house if it bothers you so much. I'd hate to have friends like you two.

Has it appeared to actually make them unwell? There’s a whole lot of hype around filth. If people don’t mind a grubby house that’s fine by me!

If you're going to judge your 'friends' on a public forum, at least have the spine to own it and stop blaming your partner.

I'm going to assume he hasn't started a thread on the internet, inviting people to comment on these women.