AIBU to question the cleanliness of my nurse friends houses?!

[Iseewhatshappeninghere]

I have 2 nurse friends, both separate families.
Both don't seem to clean their houses.
I'm not talking about a bit of muck in the corner or dirty skirting boards, you know "forgotten or out of sight areas" , I'm taking about thick thick thick dust on TV stands, windowsills, side tables anywhere really, mouldy windowsils/windows, bathroom sinks caked in makeup, baths with multiple black rings, you get the idea.
Its never really bothered me much before but with this pandemic I guess I've just noticed it more and my partner is quite concerned about it.
Am I being unreasonable to be a bit concerned?
I'm not a nurse, the closest I've been is a care worker but I would have thought cleaning would be quite a big thing considering how much I've been told over the years about dirt and dust harbouring germs and all sorts.
One of the nurses I've know for 10+ years and she's always lived like it so I've never really questioned it before. The other one has just moved house and we just assumed they were just concentrating on moving but they have now moved and moved all the dusty dirty items to the new house.
My partner says its not normal to live in such dirty houses, I've told him he needs to relax a bit about it as it's not like we live there.

You didn't answer why you are going around to their houses during a pandemic.
You started a stupid nurse-bashing thread and got called out for it.
You and your husband sound like judgemental mysoginists. My only surprise is that these hard-working women have time to cook for you and invite you round during a pandemic. Either you are living in an alternate universe, or this thread isn't for real.

Well I work in the NHS and one of my colleagues has a filthy house and hoards. She doesn't keep herself clean and often smells bad and wears the same unwashed uniform all week.
She often doesn't wash her hands before doing a procedure as I've been observing and I'm afraid I've had to report it for patients safety.
I don't believe someone who lives in a pigsty is going to follow the rules at work. There is untidy and then there is a filthy mess.

YABU

You are right to be concerned in my opinion.

You and your partner sound like a couple of dicks, OP.

But why were you in their house?

Why should the OP be concerned and what do you suggest she does about her concern apart from bitch about her "friends" on a public forum?
Do you think their employers need to know? How about sending them some discreetly taken anonymous photos? 🤔

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

Well I work in the NHS and one of my colleagues has a filthy house and hoards. She doesn't keep herself clean and often smells bad and wears the same unwashed uniform all week. She often doesn't wash her hands before doing a procedure as I've been observing and I'm afraid I've had to report it for patients safety. I don't believe someone who lives in a pigsty is going to follow the rules at work. There is untidy and then there is a filthy mess.

I live in a pigsty and I hoard. My self care is terrible. I worked in theatres as a trainee ODP, so would be scrubbed in for operations. How I lived at home had no reflection on how I worked. Maybe your colleague is depressed?

What a lovely friend you are OP bitching about a friend's house online and anyway why were you in her house in a pandemic

If someone's job requires them to maintain good hygiene, I would expect them to live in a clean house

But perhaps it's like a chef eating beans on toast at home. They do what they have to at work

You sound horribly judgemental, OP. I wouldn't want friends like you or your partner.

Mumsnet, where Teachers, Nurses and GPs can, and will, be judged.

OP, have you and partner run out of things to say to each other, so you've taken to discussing your friends homes and passing judgement for entertainment? I assume so, given you don't mention having been personally affected by this prior to now. "Be careful lest you suffer vertigo from the dizzying height of your moral ground".

If you're truly THAT concerned for the wellbeing of your friends, it might be better to ask them about it, instead of moaning to us.

Some people have better or more important things to do than cleaning their house all the time. It's none of your business.

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

Well I work in the NHS and one of my colleagues has a filthy house and hoards. She doesn't keep herself clean and often smells bad and wears the same unwashed uniform all week. She often doesn't wash her hands before doing a procedure as I've been observing and I'm afraid I've had to report it for patients safety. I don't believe someone who lives in a pigsty is going to follow the rules at work. There is untidy and then there is a filthy mess.

Have you asked if she is okay or needs any support?

I never understand people who come on here to hide behind what their husbands believe, ‘my husband said...’

What do you think? Does your husband want to post? Do you support his beliefs?

Vile judgey thread.

Poor personal hygiene and poor cleaning standards in the home are signs of depression/poor mental health.

Have you asked if these nurses aka your friends are ok?

Why doesn't your dh offer to help? He's obviously got nothing better to do

I used to work in hospital accommodation you would be surprised and mortified how dirty and down right disgusting some medical professionals can be from students right up to consultants.

Absolutely revolting and that in a single room sometimes which takes hardly any time to clean.

@NormanStangerson

Fine if people want to live like that but the filthy disgusting kitchen is not on no matter what job people do. Nurses, midwives etc should know better

Know better than to live in their own homes, (when not working 12+ hours for fuck all remuneration) the way that they see fit, rather than to your standards?

With friends like you...

Well I would sincerely hope that my standards are most peoples' standards.

No my house is not immaculate but my kitchen is clean and I make sure I at least wipe the hob over every day along with the worktops.

Lots of people work 12 hour days if not longer and I am pretty sure they don't live in filthy houses.

If posters honestly think a hob that looks like it hasn't been cleaned in a couple of years, and that is not exaggerating and worktops covered in grease, crumbs etc is fine then I think they have a problem.

How many posters would honestly be happy to drink out of a mug that had been used before and was covered inside with tea/coffee stains which had only been quickly put under a running tap?

Oh and she wasn't a friend, she was a neighbour

I live in a pigsty and I hoard. My self care is terrible. I worked in theatres as a trainee ODP, so would be scrubbed in for operations. How I lived at home had no reflection on how I worked. Maybe your colleague is depressed?

Maybe she is, but my main concerns are the safety of the patients, we deal with extremely high risk patients with open wounds who can die very quickly if they get sepsis from something or someone unwashed. I have complex PTSD and depression and turned myself in to occupational health so I am closely monitored and have regular meetings with my manager to make sure my patients are safe. i also take my medication everyday.
if it was your relative she was treating would you be happy about it?

Maybe don't visit them if you don't like their level of cleanliness

I'm a clean freak but I'd never go round someone's and moan about it if it wasn't up to my standards, nurse or not.

And its your business how? Perhaps they are too exhausted from nursing?

But what would Kim and Aggie say?

Dh retired estate agent always said nurses homes were the dirtiest.