AIBU to question the cleanliness of my nurse friends houses?!

[Iseewhatshappeninghere]

I have 2 nurse friends, both separate families.
Both don't seem to clean their houses.
I'm not talking about a bit of muck in the corner or dirty skirting boards, you know "forgotten or out of sight areas" , I'm taking about thick thick thick dust on TV stands, windowsills, side tables anywhere really, mouldy windowsils/windows, bathroom sinks caked in makeup, baths with multiple black rings, you get the idea.
Its never really bothered me much before but with this pandemic I guess I've just noticed it more and my partner is quite concerned about it.
Am I being unreasonable to be a bit concerned?
I'm not a nurse, the closest I've been is a care worker but I would have thought cleaning would be quite a big thing considering how much I've been told over the years about dirt and dust harbouring germs and all sorts.
One of the nurses I've know for 10+ years and she's always lived like it so I've never really questioned it before. The other one has just moved house and we just assumed they were just concentrating on moving but they have now moved and moved all the dusty dirty items to the new house.
My partner says its not normal to live in such dirty houses, I've told him he needs to relax a bit about it as it's not like we live there.

Off you trot then OP. Am sure you've got some cleaning and dusting to do. Don't want your judgemental, sexist husband choking on any dirt do we?!!

And because of your statement
Its never really bothered me much before but with this pandemic I guess I've just noticed it more and my partner is quite concerned about it.
And most of us not going into people's houses, let alone often enough to be regularly notice the dirt. I certainly find no it hard to see past that but you've chosen not to respond to those making that point.

@dementedpixie

Don't go there then

Simple answer!

Concerned? That's honestly laughable. Do you not have more important things to worry about?
Do you think perhaps they've been a bit busy in a global pandemic? What you've described doesn't exactly sound like a health hazard, and to be honest - you and your DH need to mind your own bloody business. I cannot believe you thought posting this was a good idea 😂

Maybe they don’t have the time

Oh no! A dusty house! Call 101!

Op "AIBU by being incredibly judgmental"
Pp "yes"
Op "No I'm not and you're all bullying me and this is why no one can talk about anything anymore!!" Throws toys from pram

Standard AIBU tantrum when op finds out she is in fact, unreasonable.

@Iseewhatshappeninghere

Why has this turned into nurse bashing? I'm curious to other people's opinions on this. Like I said I've known one of them for years, she's always been like it. It's never stopped me being her friend or seeing her. I'm confused to why I'm not a very nice friend Norman?

Because you’ve started a thread about two nurses you know who have filthy houses. One of whom is a single mum and the other has a husband, apparently. And you seem to be insinuating that their hovels are going to kill patients and want us to join in with that thought process, too. Just seems a bit off to me.

@lynsey91

One of the dirtiest and messiest houses I have ever been in was a neighbour who was a midwife.

She invited me in for coffee. We went through the living room which had stuff everywhere - had to move a pile of newspapers, books, post off an armchair to sit down. When we got into the kitchen the hob was disgusting, the worktops covered in crumbs, grease, dirty crockery. She grabbed 2 mugs off a worktop and just run them under the tap!

I really did not want a coffee by then but could not be that rude. How I managed to drink it I will never know

It sounds horrific. Having to clear newspapers AND books from a chair! Hope you’re OK, hun.

There was way more than one misspelt word..

I’m a nurse, and my house is no show home but the kitchen is fine and no one has been ill from my kitchen/cooking in 20 years of being a parent. Cleanliness is great, but you can go too much the other way. What I do at home doesn’t equate to my professional practise, I have accountability at work and I get paid to make sure my work area is clean and infection control policies are followed to prevent already vulnerable people becoming more unwell. At home? No one is ill I don’t get paid, I have 4 kids so things can be disorganised and messy. And except for the people who live here no one else has been in my home since last January. If you had and said those things about my home you certainly wouldn’t be invited back. I have a friend who is a hoarder, there is bags and pile of stuff all over her house. Not sure how clean it is. Her food is lovely and she makes a lovely cup of tea, I visit my friend not her home - although haven’t been for some time now I look forward to when I can.

The only nurse I know keeps her house absolutely sparklingly, spotlessly clean. I am afraid to be it lest my very presence sullies it.

She's a ward sister on a surgical team, so I always think it reflects very well or the hygienic-ness of her ward!

@Iseewhatshappeninghere

OK. I'm done here. So I miss spelt one word and I'm getting jumped on because I have fat fingers 🤷‍♀️ Getting name called. You are saying I'm the judgemental one but really alot of you should be looking in the mirror. Maybe the reason people struggle in life is because they ask a question and get jumped on so noone bothers to talk anymore. I'll leave you lot the argue amongst yourselves now before I give you more ammunition. 👋

So you can give it out but not take it? You created one of the most judgemental threads on here in a while (and the competition is fierce) Now you're stropping because you've been told how awful you sound? Give over.

Nurses have a hard enough job as it is. Why bash them for a bit of a grubby house. My house is not dirty at all ,but we are nowhere near a bloody show house FFS! Maybe they want to relax when off work? As long as they are clean and tidy ,and wear a clean uniform who the fuck cares? And one poor girls partner is in Prison?! Maybe she is a bit preoccupied with other worries ATM!

Byyyyeeeee Op, be careful not to slip on your polished floors

Flouncers corner is that way.

You just wanted people to judge the nurses with you and is upset you didn't get that result.

How about you post some pictures here of your house to show everyone how clean a house should be?

I’m glad you’re not my friend. The last thing I need is a “friend” who posts about my bathroom cleanliness on a public forum.

@MasterBeth well maybe you think having your settee and armchairs completely covered in piles of books, newspapers etc is normal and fine but I don't and nor does anyone I know.

I am not talking 1 book and 1 or 2 papers but piles of them plus stuff all over the floor.

Fine if people want to live like that but the filthy disgusting kitchen is not on no matter what job people do. Nurses, midwives etc should know better.

You and your dh need to keep your beaks out. Maybe get some hobbies instead of starting random internet threads criticising your 'friends'
On the off chance that this is t a frothy wind up, op, YABU. HTH.

Ooh you're horrible, glad you're not my friend.
I value kindness, honesty and all sorts in my friends, the state of their house is not even in the top ten.

@VerityWibbleWobble

Byyyyeeeee Op, be careful not to slip on your polished floors

😂😂😂

Very odd for your partner to be "concerned" about this. Does he have issues?

And why the hell is he going to dinner in other people's houses if he's (medically, I presume?) vulnerable?

When I qualified little fairy’s started visiting and scrubbing the surfaces. It was amazing.

(I really wish they did).

It would be interesting to see how your job affects your tidiness. I suspect that it doesn’t.

Before nursing I had a creative role and my house probably reflects that more than nursing.

Actually @Iseewhatshappeninghere come back, I want to know the following.
Do you work?
If yes how many hours per shift and is it manual?
Does your DH work?
Does your DH clean the house as well as you?

Apologies not if I've missed this info but I really want to know.

Fine if people want to live like that but the filthy disgusting kitchen is not on no matter what job people do. Nurses, midwives etc should know better

Know better than to live in their own homes, (when not working 12+ hours for fuck all remuneration) the way that they see fit, rather than to your standards?

With friends like you...