Looseleaf · 19/03/2021 20:53
I don’t blame you for being fed up. If you’re happy and they are, or even if you aren’t or they aren’t it’s no one else’s business!
People love to comment though and I just let it wash over me - when we only had one DC I would get advice to have another , etc.
Laytwir024 · 19/03/2021 20:53
Are you happy with the situation? There is a housing crisis. If they are at home paying their way but also saving themselves money, then that's brilliant. It's completely normal in lots of cultures. It seems silly to have parents living alone and two children living seperately, also alone, paying through the nose for all these 1 bed apartments.
If you're not complaining then people should keep out of it.
seensome · 19/03/2021 20:54
It's not out of ordinary I think plenty of people are staying with parents as the cost of living is expensive, there's no pressure to marry and settle down until your 30's these days. In 10 years time and their still at home then I'd say it's about time to fly the nest.
DenisetheMenace · 19/03/2021 20:58
It’s probably more common than we all realise now.
Our eldest left home at 16, fiercely independent, wanted to do her thing, which she successfully did for several years, renting.
She was back with us with her husband at 24, expecting their first child and saving furiously for a house deposit. Covid put paid to that, we couldn’t risk having working people in the house with her CEV dad. Thankfully, they were able to move in with her in laws instead. They’re finally moving into their own place late summer this year.
Our youngest will start university this year and frankly in the wake of this last crappy year (or two/three, hope not but who knows?) he can stay as long as he likes. He’s a lovely young person. Don’t give a stuff what anyone else thinks.
Luckyelephant1 · 19/03/2021 20:58
If you're happy and they're happy and they're helping with bills then there's no problem. It's pointless them moving out and pissing money away on rent while still trying to save for a house deposit when they can save on rent by staying at home.
It would be a different issue if they weren't working or paying their way.
MadMadMadamMim · 19/03/2021 21:01
If both you and they are happy, there doesn't seem to be a problem. Who are the people who keep telling you this? If they are happy enough to say to your face, Your sons are too old to live at home I'd have thought Fuck off and mind your own business was fairly acceptable as a response.
Mind you, I've got DDs roughly that age and neither of them would date a bloke who still lived with his mum.
heckwarrior · 19/03/2021 21:06
OP - I think there's an inherent bias in sons doing this and not daughters. I think it's unfair and fuelled by this idea that someone is only "attractive" (aimed at men but not always) if they have their own property and are self-sufficient. It has a bit of the "mummy's boy" vibe about it which is stereotypical nonsense If you and your sons are happy then ignore the critics. I have DD (25) at home she and I know it's not forever and frankly it suits us at the moment. That said I wouldn't date a man at 50 who still lived with his parents (unless for caring responsibilities and had at least shown some independence previously!!)
TheVanguardSix · 19/03/2021 21:07
It's smart! It's sensible and really, how lovely, to be honest! Better than throwing good money after bad and sharing extortionate flats with people who will mostly get on their nerves. Flatsharing is over-rated. It's really not an 'experience' or the road to maturity that everyone touts. It's the road to going broke before you even have a nest egg, especially nowadays.
JustAnotherBrick · 19/03/2021 21:08
Can’t see the issue. DD, 21, is back from uni due to Covid. She’s now said she might live with us after uni to save for a deposit but is worried about people’s perceptions of it. I said who cares about other people? If it works for us all, why not. She pays her way and pulls her weight round the house. Our house is big enough that it doesn’t feel cramped and that DH and I were rattling around a bit when it was just the two of us. What’s not to like?
If you’re happy and they’re happy, that’s good enough.
Incidentally my brother stayed at home until 30 and saved for the majority of his house. Now, at 40, he’s married with a family and they are totally mortgage free. Unlike me who, at years older than him, am not. But of course, I was the independent one who wanted to make my own way in the world at 18. Now I’m thinking he was the savvy one!
cerseii · 19/03/2021 21:09
As a 23 year old, times are hard for my generation. I personally moved out at 18 and have rented ever since but I have practically no savings as most of my income goes on rent! There’s no perfect option here
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