Does this piss you off or AIBU?

[Besswess88]

Today in a shop I dropped something out of my pocket at the self service, I knew I had but before I had a chance to pick it up a kindly man behind me said “you’ve dropped your card darlin” (my age, mid forties).

I know in the scheme of things it’s not important but anyone else absolutely hate being called “terms of endearment” by absolute strangers, esp when they are men.

It’s that low level misogyny that just grates on me.

Seriously, there's bigger fish to fry.

Yeah I kind of pointed that out in the OP but thanks anyway!

Is it misogyny? My sons god mother is from up north and constantly calls everyone under the sun, women, men and children, all sorts of "terms of endearment".

Wtf? How is that misogynistic?

Hahaha.

No

I'm sure he was only being nice why are you so upset?
I'd have been more annoyed loosing my card to be honest!

I’m not sure it’s offensive , could be wrong though . Maybe depends where you are from , am up north everyone is love , darl, darling , pet etc both men and women say it to each other

Would you also be offended if he held the door open for you

I wouldn't be offended. Where I'm from everyone is love, my love, darling etc.

If he had commented on your bum or boobs as you’d bent down to pick it up I’d understand the reference to misogyny but I think he was just trying to be helpful in this instance.

OP you seem to have issues with being offended. Have a quiet word with yourself would be my advice. Unclench.

Someone was trying to be kind and you’re offended by their choice of words YABU

I personally am only bothered by those sorts of terms if they are used in a specific context that makes it patronising or inappropriate. For example, if someone in a work meeting referred to me as darling.
The scenario you’ve described wouldn’t bother me.

Plenty of women use 'darling' or whatever term of endearment is local to them. I'd never use it myself but he was being friendly.

Not bothered by it. I get called 'love' by other women. Like others have said, it can be a regional thing. Only time I was bothered was when I was called 'sweetpea'. Really grated for some reason. That was from a woman that was 10 years younger than me!

Crikey I call everyone darlin, bin men, shop keepers, doctors, taxi drivers, DCs friends, etc .... I've never once meant to cause offence.

I just hate being called darling/love etc by anyone who is an absolute stranger (I am southern if it makes any difference).

I guess it makes me reminded of being cat called as a teen “alright darlin’, show us your tits”

My husband and I don’t ever do it either we refer to each other by name 🤣

It has honestly never bothered me when people use terms of endearment towards me. I like it when people are friendly.

Yes I esp hate it from younger women.

Good god. Would you prefer he hadnt told you then you could have just as unreasonably complained about that?

I call my post woman love. Guess that make me a misogynist too!

Sad sign of the times when the pendulum is swinging stupidly too far the other way.

I have a supplier at work who calls me darling and signs off her emails with a ‘x’ is that misogynistic then too? 🧐

Have you used the wrong word op? Misogyny is a hatred of women.

Clearly calling you a term of endearment does not indicate a hatred of women.

What word did you mean?

my husband's my darling because er he is - always has been