Does this piss you off or AIBU?

[Besswess88]

Today in a shop I dropped something out of my pocket at the self service, I knew I had but before I had a chance to pick it up a kindly man behind me said “you’ve dropped your card darlin” (my age, mid forties).

I know in the scheme of things it’s not important but anyone else absolutely hate being called “terms of endearment” by absolute strangers, esp when they are men.

It’s that low level misogyny that just grates on me.

I'm female, from South East England.... I Call everyone and their dog darling, my love, sweet etc etc....
I'm not being pervy

Ffs.

I get your point. But it was just his way of doing something nice, it wasn’t meant to put you down..

Instead of misogyny do you just mean “I hate when people are over friendly to me”.

Get over yourself... would you rather he said ‘ hey bitch pick your shit up!’?? He was drawing your attention to something to help you... don’t overthink it. Yrbu!

and I like sweetpea too - refers to something lovely

I don’t think the use of “darling” or “love” or pretty much any term of endearment by a stranger is clearly down to misogyny or some lesser negative view of women, though they have been used in a negative fashion, with that awful patronizing tone, against women so often I understand why it grates.

I was called lovely by the male cashier in Tesco this afternoon. He obviously doesn't know me

I get it, OP. MN is a parallel universe at the moment where misogyny is accepted.

Yet if you called any of the people on this thread ‘love’ they’ll be bristling.

It's better than 'hon!'

I think l he was just being helpful?

Yes, I find it over-familiar and patronising. Save it for someone you actually consider your ‘darling’, and thanks for pointing out I dropped something, sweetcheeks.

You really shouldn’t use the word “misogyny” in this context. It makes a mockery of the real thing.

It may be annoying in a paternal way but it’s not misogynistic, no.

I call everyone darling

@Patriciathestripper1 🤣🤣🤣

I'm from the north east and a lot of people call both men and women 'pet', 'Hinny' etc and I take it as a term of endearment as do most people!

Do NOT travel to the south west! Here the most common term would be “my loverrrr”.

‘Cheer up love’, ‘give us a smile, darlin’- all based in misogyny.

‘You dropped your card, darlin’ - not so much.

Mate, have a word with yourself.

I like it, but I'm northern and everyone's 'love' where I'm from. Actually sometimes it's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all day

@Shitfuckcommaetc

I'm female, from South East England.... I Call everyone and their dog darling, my love, sweet etc etc.... I'm not being pervy

I'm from London and do this too, I can't help myself, I have tried 😂

@23PissOffAvenueWF

‘Cheer up love’, ‘give us a smile, darlin’- all based in misogyny.

‘You dropped your card, darlin’ - not so much.

The polite thing to do is to wait and see if the person picks it up themselves.

I guess it makes me reminded of being cat called as a teen “alright darlin’, show us your tits”

I don't think it's the 'darling' bit that's offensive there, but that might just be me! Would you be equally as offended if someone were to say 'alright?' to you for the same reason?!

@23PissOffAvenueWF

‘Cheer up love’, ‘give us a smile, darlin’- all based in misogyny.

‘You dropped your card, darlin’ - not so much.

This. It depends on context. I'm Southern too and I love it if someone calls me darlin' in a nice way. "Get back into the kitchen, darlin'"? No. Actually, if I'm lucky, where I live, I get called 'maid' :)

I don't think it's the 'darling' bit that's offensive there, but that might just be me

Quite. 😂