To feed my 1 year old outside

[Dandylioness1]

My son is 13 months old.

I met my friend for a walk in the park this morning.

Her daughter is 2 years old.

We’d been walking a while and my son started to become unsettled and was asking for “boob boob”

I told my friend I’d stop at the next bench and let him have some milk.

She seemed mortified by this idea. She asked me if I could give him some water instead and that he was too old for me to be feeding him in public.

I told her I would be discreet about it but she said it was just about being discreet and that it’s also an issue that he’s 13 months and doesn’t need breastmilk, she said I should offer him water or a snack instead.

I ignored what she said I found a place to sit and let my son have some milk.

It’s made me feel pretty bad now and as a first time mum (who’s spent my sons first year in a global pandemic and lockdowns) i feel like I’m doing it all wrong. 🙁

AIBU to feed him on demand at this age?

Your friend sounds mad. Carry on as you are.

Yanbu ignore your ‘friend’.

Hah mine was fed anywhere and everywhere until he was 3. It’s normal, it’s healthy, and anybody who objects to it is the one with a problem. Feed for as long as you want, wherever you want.

Your friend was right he didn't need milk that urgent that you had to stop on a bench.

People can be weird about breastfeeding, especially older babies and toddlers. But you are not doing anything wrong remotely. Do what works for you.

Not your issue - she is the one with the problem here!!

Are you new to Mumsnet?

Of course YANBU

@12345ct

Your friend was right he didn't need milk that urgent that you had to stop on a bench.

@12345ct

I should’ve said, we’d been walking for a long time. It was a long walk back to the car so a bench was the better option.

Of course you weren't being unreasonable to feed your child when he was hungry. Your "friend" was being ridiculous.

She's being ridiculous. Both in the idea he's too old to breastfeed and that you shouldn't breastfeed outside. It's none of her business and you did nothing wrong.

Yanbu

Feed your baby when they ask for it

13 months isn’t too old

13 years might be though

@WorraLiberty

Are you new to Mumsnet?

Of course YANBU

@WorraLiberty

No. 🤷🏻‍♀️

You can feed your child where ever you like. Personally, I was glad when they got to that age and I could give them a snack and a drink rather than have to breastfeed.

Of course it's fine and normal to feed him. Your friend is the one with the issue.

@Growuppeople

Boob boob 🤢

@Growuppeople

Oh for goodness sake. He’s a baby.

I’ve always referred to my breasts at boobs / milk.

He’s found his own way of asking.

She’s got issues. Sadly a lot of people do.

You feed whenever you like, wherever you like, for as long as you and your child want to.

What’s the issue of “need” anyway? None of us need anything but water to survive. I drink loads of water but it’s not the same as a comforting hot cup of coffee. So I have both depending on what I feel like. So your baby could have survived on water? He preferred nice, warm, tasty, nutritious milk. Milk specifically designed to give him what he needs at any one time. You’re his mum who cares for his comfort so obliged.

You don’t have to spend time with people who judge you and make you feel uncomfortable for doing perfectly healthy normal things for your child. It’s her issue, she needs to deal with it or she’ll see less of you.

I agree with friend.

My 18 month old feeds constantly if I’m not at work- you are absolutely not being unreasonable either to be breastfeeding on demand or breastfeeding outside. Carry on for as long as you both want to xx

This is from the WHO website www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/infant-and-young-child-feeding

“Breast-milk is also an important source of energy and nutrients in children aged 6–23 months. It can provide half or more of a child’s energy needs between the ages of 6 and 12 months, and one third of energy needs between 12 and 24 months. Breast milk is also a critical source of energy and nutrients during illness, and reduces mortality among children who are malnourished.”

Your “friend” isn’t your friend if they can’t support you in a simple matter such as nursing your child. What else will they make you feel bad about in the future?

@12345ct

Your friend was right he didn't need milk that urgent that you had to stop on a bench.

I think the only person qualified to make that judgement call is the breastfeeding mother and her child.

For example... at 13 months my son was still quite disinterested in solids (perfectly fine now at 2.5) and breastfeeding was still an integral part of his nutrition. Aside from that, comfort, thirst, etc. all dictate demand for nursing.

OP, I was still feeding my 2.5 year old outdoors until very recently (he's now decided he's less interested and breastfeeding about once a day, if that).

Trust your instinct and do what's right for you and your son.

Well I think there are separate points
It’s not wrong to breastfeed a 13 month old
It’s not wrong to feed in public

A 13 month old doesn’t need feeding on demand though. They need breakfast, lunch and tea with milk first thing and before bed.

But it’s your choice if you wish

I would have done the same. My middle child fed until 3yr 3mo & at that age definitely would have on a bench.

He also called it ‘gut gut’ and I can tell you - I did not name it that!! They do find their own way of asking so the shakers can fuck off 🤷‍♀️

I agree with friend.

I'm sorry that you have issues with a normal, natural approach to nurturing a child. That's a pity for you. Luckily, the OP doesn't seem to share your hang-ups.

It’s your choice completely and not your friends business to comment.

However, after 6 months I got mine into a 4 times a day routine just for my sanity. This means I wouldn’t need to feed outside.