To feed my 1 year old outside

[Dandylioness1]

My son is 13 months old.

I met my friend for a walk in the park this morning.

Her daughter is 2 years old.

We’d been walking a while and my son started to become unsettled and was asking for “boob boob”

I told my friend I’d stop at the next bench and let him have some milk.

She seemed mortified by this idea. She asked me if I could give him some water instead and that he was too old for me to be feeding him in public.

I told her I would be discreet about it but she said it was just about being discreet and that it’s also an issue that he’s 13 months and doesn’t need breastmilk, she said I should offer him water or a snack instead.

I ignored what she said I found a place to sit and let my son have some milk.

It’s made me feel pretty bad now and as a first time mum (who’s spent my sons first year in a global pandemic and lockdowns) i feel like I’m doing it all wrong. 🙁

AIBU to feed him on demand at this age?

Filling thirsty infants with bananas is a pretty sure fire recipe for fat children.

I REALLY wish MN would set up a virtual notepad or something, there are some amazing posts that should not get lost or forgotten!

sending a message to yourself maybe?

@AlexaShutUp

Some would say that when someone is old enough to ask for his food, he's too old for "boob boob".

So early talkers should be penalised?

Lol. I think that poster has an ideological disagreement about breastfeeding than anything else. A lot of the anti-bf brigade seem to have descended on this thread.

Yanbu OP and law is actually on your side. It's sex discrimination to be treated unfairly or to be asked not to breastfeed in public and the law supports this regardless of the child's age.

Is your friend really your friend if she will discriminate against you?

Breastfeeding needs to be normalised, not hidden away in a corner because your friend has a problem that THEY need to address.

I personally would not want to breastfeed my 13 month old on demand so I don’t. You do, that’s fine. I don’t see what difference it makes whether you do it outside or inside. If my friend wanted to stop on a bench to breastfeed their toddler that would be fine by me, I can’t see what good reason she would have to object.

yes, AlexaShutUp I forgot babies like your genius and precocious baby who could talk at 6 weeks old, silly me, there's always one

It wouldn’t have bothered me . It’s your choice and I would not have judged or questioned you about it

@beyondtheshoe, are you suggesting that 6 weeks is a reasonable limit on breastfeeding?

@GrumpyHoonMain OP asked whether it is unreasonable to BF a 1 year old outside. What did she expect? 100% agreement? If the posters had just been marching up to bf women to vent their disgust then that would be out of order. But you can’t be surprised they’re voicing their opinions on this thread specifically.

Ask your friend if seeing a calf feed from the udder is mortifying and disgusting?

God how dare we feed our children in public. What a crisis.

I couldn’t breastfeed, wanted too. I get insanely jealous seeing women breastfeed; Even a bit bitter but I still wouldn’t be mortified to see a tit on display. Jesus Christ.

Whatever happened to “we’ve all got the same bits and pieces?” Especially the ones made for keeping our offspring alive and healthy

@Markies

Some of your responses to other posters have come across a bit superior to me. Well fucking done for boob boob feeding until now - us shit parents who formula fed bow down to you.

All she asked was if her friend was unreasonable for pointing out (quite rightly In my opinion) that her dc could wait to breastfeed. If you’re inferring judgement that’s on you I’m afraid. I bf and All I see in OP’s posts is a mum who might be struggling to cope with her ds’ bf demands or might be using bf as a way to control her dc’s behaviour - I am part of several bf groups and have met nobody who feeds ‘urgently’on demand at that age.

[quote AlexaShutUp]@beyondtheshoe, are you suggesting that 6 weeks is a reasonable limit on breastfeeding?[/quote]
no, why, was your baby speaking at 6 weeks old then?

I was making fun of those parents...

I just wanted to gain some insight into how other mums view a 13 month old being offered boob on demand and outside.

At 13 months pp I was delighted to be back in non-BF-friendly clothes and (as I'm a routine-loving type) wouldn't have done this. If DD needed/wanted feeding while out I'd have given her a rice cake most likely. If you were one of my friends I'd have thought that you were more committed to the whole extended BFing thing than I was, and maybe that you were a bit of a "crunchy" type, but if it works for you and your child then that's all that matters.

Thinking about it, I actually feel quite sorry for women who have an issue with mothers breastfeeding their young children. I wonder what's happened to them to make their thinking so fucked up.

A 13 month old doesn’t need feeding on demand though. They need breakfast, lunch and tea with milk first thing and before bed.

So do you suggest that on the times when he asks in between, that I say no?

I don’t think he’d be happy with that. 🙁

You are going to struggle when your toddlers wants go beyond breastfeeding and most of them are unreasonable.yes, sometimes ~every 5 minutes~ you do have to say no to toddlers, no, they aren't very happy about it, you have to live with that or else you might have a very indulged toddler who lives on cake, mini cheddars, & daddy's beer because they asked and you can't possibly say no.

no, why, was your baby speaking at 6 weeks old then?

No, obviously not, but she was speaking by 9 months. Is that too old to breastfeed in your book?

I wonder what's happened to them to make their thinking so fucked up.

Piss off love.

@Markies

Some of your responses to other posters have come across a bit superior to me. Well fucking done for boob boob feeding until now - us shit parents who formula fed bow down to you.

@Markies

I’m really sorry if that’s how my posts have made you feel.

Just do you know, I had to give my son formula for 3 months.
He had an undiagnosed tongue tie which resulted in a large weight loss.
Formula was a part of our breastfeeding journey and if I hadn’t given him it for those months we probably wouldn’t still be breastfeeding now.

You’re the one that has judged me here. I never brought up formula or a discussion about how we feed our babies.

This was a discussion about feeding a 13 month old. Not about breast vs formula.

@AlexaShutUp

Thinking about it, I actually feel quite sorry for women who have an issue with mothers breastfeeding their young children. I wonder what's happened to them to make their thinking so fucked up.

I love the goady personal attacks

Some posters really do not like to be called out on ridiculous behaviour, do they.

Piss off love.

Sorry if I touched a nerve.

When she remarked another poster ‘only breastfed for 6 months’ that came over as judgy to me. Maybe wasn’t meant to but the ‘only’ inferred she’s better for lasting to 13 months.

Op you acted perfectly reasonably.
BF is not just about nourishment, yes op might have been able to give the child a snack, but DC would have also benefited from an emotional response from BFing too. All that lovely closeness and bonding.

All this clutching of pearls over a mother feeding her child via her nipple. I swear op, you’d get less judgment if you popped him directly onto a big dirty lactating cow, fresh from the field!

Well OP the answer is yes, lots of women do choose not to bf when out and about. Not through shame, or judgement, or any other negative association of breastfeeding a toddler, but because at that age there is a reasonable alternative (food) which many people find easier and more convenient, and both your view and theirs are fine.

No need to explain to anyone...as long as your baby is healthy & you are happy to continue, then carry on. I didn't do on demand for that long but only because I needed to go back to work but I continued the bedtime & early morning feeds until about 12 mths or so altho given the time of day was always at home so that issue didn't arise. DS stopped himself once supper filled his belly & he slept through. Some people are just weird about it, altho unfair that she pestered you not to. I'm curious...did she stick around as you bf or was she so mortified that she removed herself...I've no problem with bf in public, I think it is quite sweet when I see it.

@Growuppeople

Boob boob 🤢

Is your username aimed at you?