To feed my 1 year old outside

[Dandylioness1]

My son is 13 months old.

I met my friend for a walk in the park this morning.

Her daughter is 2 years old.

We’d been walking a while and my son started to become unsettled and was asking for “boob boob”

I told my friend I’d stop at the next bench and let him have some milk.

She seemed mortified by this idea. She asked me if I could give him some water instead and that he was too old for me to be feeding him in public.

I told her I would be discreet about it but she said it was just about being discreet and that it’s also an issue that he’s 13 months and doesn’t need breastmilk, she said I should offer him water or a snack instead.

I ignored what she said I found a place to sit and let my son have some milk.

It’s made me feel pretty bad now and as a first time mum (who’s spent my sons first year in a global pandemic and lockdowns) i feel like I’m doing it all wrong. 🙁

AIBU to feed him on demand at this age?

@Sugarbelle

you have been - whilst claiming to of been helpful and so objective, when actually any opportunity that has arisen, normally when another poster writes a dick comment, you have pounced on it and used it as an opportunity to give the OP another little kick in. its horrible and it's gone on for 34 bloody pages.

Because people like you keep tagging me! I’m just responding to other people - I’m not going to stop posting when people are writing to me, just because you think I’ve written enough

I haven’t called anyone a single name or insult, I’ve said OP was not being unreasonable, all I’ve had back is a ton of abuse because I won’t jump on the ‘breast is best’ bandwagon and prefer balanced fact instead.

@Level32

I don't think you understand science or statistics. If it is noticeable at population level then the benefit it clearly noticeable. If there were benefits for an individual that could not be confirmed in a greater sample size, then those claims would be quickly discredited. Think Wakefield and his Autism claims. Small sample size. Wasn't true on population level. Easily discredited.

Oh this is so exhausting 🤦🏼‍♀️ I never said there wasn’t a benefit, just that the benefit to an individual is tiny. Which is true.

OP what you did was completely normal, lovely in fact that you have this close bond with your baby. I boob fed til 14 months and would have done this. Anyone who thinks otherwise is being weird.

I breastfed two babies until they were two. There are a lot of benefits to extended breastfeeding.

However I would not have interrupted a walk with a friend to do it. I would have handed him a snack or something.

At one they don't need it on demand

@Wondermule another tag, sorry

I think a lot of what you've said has been misunderstood and respect your point about wanting women to have an informed understanding.

I just wanted to comment on what you said about individual effect being noticeable among peers - I don't think that's an accurate benchmark because disease risk, intelligence etc is so complex. An environmental exposure might have a reasonable impact to one individual's disease risk, but they may still be more predisposed towards it than another due to genetics or other influences. Some people may be more or less sensitive to particular exposures depending on their genetic make up. It doesn't mean something doesn't have an effect but you can't really compare two people and notice a difference which is why it's only evident on a population level, but it may have more impact than is obvious. Ie someone predisposed to a certain disease may benefit more from a protective effect from something but still be more likely to develop that disease than someone who wasn't predisposed

@CupOfTeaAlonePlease

I breastfed two babies until they were two. There are a lot of benefits to extended breastfeeding.

However I would not have interrupted a walk with a friend to do it. I would have handed him a snack or something.

At one they don't need it on demand

That is exactly what I thought.

But everyone parents differently. Some children are far more sensitive and want to breastfeed for comfort or if they’re tired or overwhelmed. Maybe the baby was teething and in pain.

Responding to your child’s needs in your own way is fine and doesn’t need to be interrogated or criticised just because others do things differently for THEIR children.

Love the thought of someone only believing in science if they can see its effects in their peers

@Wondermule if the reality is that breastfeeding is of such negligible benefit, then why do you think the NHS and the WHO promote it so heavily? Do you think they’ve just got their information wrong, or do you think there is an agenda (does it save them money somehow, for babies not to be formula fed?)

(Genuine question, not sarcastic. Would genuinely like to know why a cash-strapped organisation like the NHS puts so much effort into promoting something which is only of negligible benefit).

Nobody is saying the op should not breast feed but it is unusual for a baby of over a year old to be fed on demand, especially to ask for 'boob'.
It is usually early morning and bed time at that age.

However she hasn't done anything wrong (though a bit cold for outdoor feeding).

@CreosoteQueen maybe it’s got something to do with:

According to PHE 64% of U.K. adults are overweight or obese.

Breast cancer is the most common cancer in the U.K. accounting for 15% of all new cases (CRUK).

Breast feeding reduces a persons risk of those two massive problems affecting the U.K. health system at the moment.

Overall cost of obesity in the U.K. is estimated at £27bn, if there was a single, effective, free way of reducing the number of obese people by 4%.. they’re going to promote it.

Overall cost of breast cancer to the uk is cited as £504m in 2016. If they can reduce that by advising women to do something free they’re going to promote it.

I’d like to think it was about saving lives and quality of life but it’s probably driven by money for them. Maybe I’m cynical.

It’s totally absurd to deny that, as a nation breastfeeding has benefits. Using the logic that if it’s only visible ‘on a population level’ then are you bothering no to get the flu vaccine wondermule? Do you bother getting any vaccine actually? Because.. you or your friends may not get so incredibly ill you end up dying from these illnesses but on a population level you can see the benefit.

But what do we know, hey, we’re not into science and facts

@TheKeatingFive

At thirteen months babies have usually cut out or drastically reduced breast feeding, they eat dinners instead.

Well I’m 40 and have been known to drink a coffee or a tea on a bench. Is that a problem?

I eat dinners too and everything.

Go for it, Keating! :-)

[quote CreosoteQueen]@Wondermule if the reality is that breastfeeding is of such negligible benefit, then why do you think the NHS and the WHO promote it so heavily? Do you think they’ve just got their information wrong, or do you think there is an agenda (does it save them money somehow, for babies not to be formula fed?)

(Genuine question, not sarcastic. Would genuinely like to know why a cash-strapped organisation like the NHS puts so much effort into promoting something which is only of negligible benefit).[/quote]
For the reasons FTEM said above, I would guess. Overall it has an effect on the population, and the NHS deals with the entire population.

I don’t post to discourage the NHS from promoting bfing. I can see overall it does have an impact on the nation’s health. In the way that if everyone in the country was given £1, it wouldn’t affect them much individually but we could say overall the public is £60 million wealthier or whatever. Which sounds very impressive.

I think the way in which the facts are presented (which generally don’t use overall risk, if any numbers are quoted at all) are misleading, and new mums that can’t bf should know in the long run it will only have a tiny effect on their child’s health. There is no one thing bf protects against entirely, it just makes most things (apart from allergies) a tiny little bit less likely.

Yes I do get the flu vaccine. Dunno what that’s got to do with anything.

[quote LockdownIcecream]@Wondermule another tag, sorry

I think a lot of what you've said has been misunderstood and respect your point about wanting women to have an informed understanding.

I just wanted to comment on what you said about individual effect being noticeable among peers - I don't think that's an accurate benchmark because disease risk, intelligence etc is so complex. An environmental exposure might have a reasonable impact to one individual's disease risk, but they may still be more predisposed towards it than another due to genetics or other influences. Some people may be more or less sensitive to particular exposures depending on their genetic make up. It doesn't mean something doesn't have an effect but you can't really compare two people and notice a difference which is why it's only evident on a population level, but it may have more impact than is obvious. Ie someone predisposed to a certain disease may benefit more from a protective effect from something but still be more likely to develop that disease than someone who wasn't predisposed[/quote]
Yes I understand this, but the fact remains there is no one thing bfing protects against 100% - in some cases it’s actually been linked with a rise in allergies. But the population gives a good indication as to overall how effective it is. Right, please no more tags!

Nobody is saying the op should not breast feed but it is unusual for a baby of over a year old to be fed on demand, especially to ask for 'boob'.
It is usually early morning and bed time at that age.
Not according to the breastfed babies I know.