To feed my 1 year old outside

[Dandylioness1]

My son is 13 months old.

I met my friend for a walk in the park this morning.

Her daughter is 2 years old.

We’d been walking a while and my son started to become unsettled and was asking for “boob boob”

I told my friend I’d stop at the next bench and let him have some milk.

She seemed mortified by this idea. She asked me if I could give him some water instead and that he was too old for me to be feeding him in public.

I told her I would be discreet about it but she said it was just about being discreet and that it’s also an issue that he’s 13 months and doesn’t need breastmilk, she said I should offer him water or a snack instead.

I ignored what she said I found a place to sit and let my son have some milk.

It’s made me feel pretty bad now and as a first time mum (who’s spent my sons first year in a global pandemic and lockdowns) i feel like I’m doing it all wrong. 🙁

AIBU to feed him on demand at this age?

Nobody is saying the op should not breast feed but it is unusual for a baby of over a year old to be fed on demand, especially to ask for 'boob'.
It is usually early morning and bed time at that age.
People haven't just said it's unusual though.
They've talked about nudity, undressing in public, being forced to look at boobs. They have decided they know best about what is right for someone else's child.They've obsessed over 'need' when it's quite clear they have no issue with a 1 year old being given rice cakes, banana and other so called acceptable snacks (and I've not seen people saying why are you giving a 1 year old banana, they don't need banana). They've said breastfeeding a 1 year old is all about the parent, not the child.

I'm breastfeeding a toddler at the moment who tends to have predictable feeds in the morning and evening, but if they ask during the day then I'll happily feed them, just like if they want a snack I'll give them a snack. It's a sad state of affairs knowing that there's people out there who seriously care so much that sometimes I'll cuddle my toddler on a bench to nurse instead of giving them an approved snack.

It's interesting how many people are saying they don't need to be fed on demand at that age. I certainly wouldn't want a 13 month old baby to be kept waiting if they were hungry or thirsty; how awful when they are so little. If their snack of choice is milk and you are still breastfeeding, then a breastfeed it should be.

And none I know either, @burritofan!

I'm quite sure all the women who have actually, themselves, breastfed a baby of 12 months plus know that a baby will ask for milk as and when they need. The people inherent talking about bananas and rice cakes are absolutely saying there is something unacceptable about a woman sitting on a bench and feeding her baby in the way that they themselves choose. Otherwise saying that would make no sense. You are judging that woman and child harshly and shame on you! It's none of your business.

I agree it's none of our business and the op's friend was being a bit precious about it all.

Exactly @Alonelonelyloner, they are saying feed your baby how and what you like, whenever you like..... As long as it doesn't involve breasts. Shame on them.

@Wondermule

"in some cases it’s actually been linked with a rise in allergies"

Could you link to this study? I've had a look and the studies I've found only indicate a lower incidence of allergies in breastfed babies. For example, this list of studies here:

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/news-and-research/baby-friendly-research/infant-health-research/infant-health-research-allergies/amp/

Since you're so hot on presenting a scientific and balanced view of breastfeeding, I'd expect you to include some stats.

@OlmostOlwyn Google Scholar is a decent place to find peer reviewed studies: scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=allergies+in+breastfed+infants&oq=allergies+in+b

Problem is it’s likely they’ll be technical in language and not user friendly like when displayed by charities and NHS. Have a browse through the link if it works if not just do a Google search for ‘Google scholar’ and it’ll probably be top link.

I haven’t seen any studies linking allergies to breastfeeding either? There are a few studies that suggest a link between weaning earlier (4ish months) with lower allergies but this was alongside breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding for 6 months or more is linked to a 20% reduction in some childhood cancers (Lukemia).

I am genuinely horrified and embarrassed about the amount of people who have issues with bf.
We are so backward in the UK when it comes to this, go to other countries and its totally natural and not just natural but celebrated. I remember being in Australia and sil would be quite open about bf and not the best at being discreet but then why be discreet?
Who cares about the babies age, who cares about whether or not it's on demand, it's just a pair of boobs?! I cant imagine any reason why anyone would moan about a woman needing to stop and feed her baby when out on a walk. Who needs enemies when you have friends like that

The evidence that shows breastfeeding as protective against atopy is quite compelling.

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/news-and-research/baby-friendly-research/infant-health-research/infant-health-research-allergies/