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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feed my 1 year old outside

885 replies

Dandylioness1 · 14/03/2021 16:16

My son is 13 months old.

I met my friend for a walk in the park this morning.

Her daughter is 2 years old.

We’d been walking a while and my son started to become unsettled and was asking for “boob boob”

I told my friend I’d stop at the next bench and let him have some milk.

She seemed mortified by this idea. She asked me if I could give him some water instead and that he was too old for me to be feeding him in public.

I told her I would be discreet about it but she said it was just about being discreet and that it’s also an issue that he’s 13 months and doesn’t need breastmilk, she said I should offer him water or a snack instead.

I ignored what she said I found a place to sit and let my son have some milk.

It’s made me feel pretty bad now and as a first time mum (who’s spent my sons first year in a global pandemic and lockdowns) i feel like I’m doing it all wrong. 🙁

AIBU to feed him on demand at this age?

OP posts:
Poppins2016 · 14/03/2021 16:33

Oh, and nothing wrong with a 13 month old communicating their needs and asking for "boob boob" or "boobies" (as in my sons case)! It's natural age appropriate communication. As long as parent and child are happy with terminology there's no issue.

Original poster
Dandylioness1 · 14/03/2021 16:35

@millymollymoomoo

A 13 month old doesn’t need feeding on demand though. They need breakfast, lunch and tea with milk first thing and before bed.

So do you suggest that on the times when he asks in between, that I say no?

I don’t think he’d be happy with that. 🙁

OP posts:
Wondermule · 14/03/2021 16:36

I think you know YANBU 🙄

I have to be honest I would find it a bit mortifying, but I would also know that was my problem to deal with iyswim.

Youarenothere · 14/03/2021 16:37

YANBU, you’ll need a thick skin to carry on though. I breastfed DS till 2.5 and friends, family and even DH thought it was weird and unnecessary and constantly commented/asked when I would stop.

AlexaShutUp · 14/03/2021 16:39

@Wondermule, I get that you're saying it's your problem to deal with, so not having a go, but why would you be mortified? Genuine question, as I honestly don't get it.

JustDavesWife · 14/03/2021 16:39

I probably wouldn't have stopped on a bench, he isn't a tiny baby who needs feeding on demand and I'd be a bit pissed off that I had to wait for you to feed him when he didn't need it. Give him a banana next time and get him to wait until you're all ready to sit.

Veterinari · 14/03/2021 16:40

@12345ct
@user1493494961

Why does the need have to be 'urgent' to feed a baby? Why wouldn't you feed them?
Why does breastfeeding make you uncomfortable?
Why do you have a problem with a mother feeding her child?

Nightbear · 14/03/2021 16:40

So her child didn’t have any formula or cow’s milk at 13 months? She obviously does have a problem with BF if she thinks that a 13 month old is too old to be BF unless you only do it at home. One of the benefits of BF is that you have a source of food, drink and comfort available 24/7.

annonnymous · 14/03/2021 16:42

totally not being unreasonable. your child needed feeding.

Wondermule · 14/03/2021 16:42

[quote AlexaShutUp]@Wondermule, I get that you're saying it's your problem to deal with, so not having a go, but why would you be mortified? Genuine question, as I honestly don't get it.[/quote]
Honestly? I don’t know. I did breastfeed myself but only to about 6ish months. I’m a product of society perhaps, I just find toddlers breastfeeding to be a bit 🤢 but I also expect mums to ignore my illogical feelings and do what they like!

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/03/2021 16:42

All you can do is feel sad for the people who get so stressed or upset by a woman feeding her baby as nature intended. It’s them, not you. Who knew there were so many odd balls out there. And on here. A parenting forum.

PandemicPalava · 14/03/2021 16:44

Blimey she's not a very supportive friend! You carry on, well done

AnnaSW1 · 14/03/2021 16:45

Your friend has weird boob issues.

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/03/2021 16:45

@JustDavesWife

I probably wouldn't have stopped on a bench, he isn't a tiny baby who needs feeding on demand and I'd be a bit pissed off that I had to wait for you to feed him when he didn't need it. Give him a banana next time and get him to wait until you're all ready to sit.
Hopefully all your friends take the same inpatient intolerant approach when their children are hungry or thirsty as you do do you’ll never be stuck waiting and pissed off. A two minute breastfeed is a lot quicker, more convenient and cleaner than giving a one year old a banana.
triceratops12 · 14/03/2021 16:45

I don't have an issue with breastfeeding but personally I'd have found it odd for you to stop and feed a child at that age on demand in a public place.

Original poster
Dandylioness1 · 14/03/2021 16:46

@Wondermule

I’m a product of society perhaps, I just find toddlers breastfeeding to be a bit 🤢

I find this really sad.

I don’t have much experience of feeding in public places due to the pandemic.
But it’s people saying things like this that makes me feeling anxious about doing so.

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 14/03/2021 16:46

@Wondermule, thanks for answering. I really struggle to understand why it makes some people feel so uncomfortable, but I respect the fact that you recognise it as your problem.

HTH1 · 14/03/2021 16:47

Sorry, I would have been embarrassed too. A babe in arms, fine, but the child walking next to you?

Wondermule · 14/03/2021 16:47

[quote Dandylioness1]@Wondermule

I’m a product of society perhaps, I just find toddlers breastfeeding to be a bit 🤢

I find this really sad.

I don’t have much experience of feeding in public places due to the pandemic.
But it’s people saying things like this that makes me feeling anxious about doing so.[/quote]
Well 🤷🏼‍♀️

You asked, to be fair.

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/03/2021 16:47

@triceratops12

I don't have an issue with breastfeeding but personally I'd have found it odd for you to stop and feed a child at that age on demand in a public place.
Yes you do. Or you’d accept it can and should be done whenever and wherever the mum and baby feel they want it to.
itsgettingwierd · 14/03/2021 16:47

Your child was hungry.

You fed him.

You seem a pretty good mum to me Thanks

StepOutOfLine · 14/03/2021 16:48

@12345ct

Your friend was right he didn't need milk that urgent that you had to stop on a bench.
Didn't know Ann Widdecomb was a MNer.
GrumpyHoonMain · 14/03/2021 16:48

I have a 15 mo and would expect him to wait until convenient for me for breastmilk. He isn’t a newborn and doesn’t need bm urgently. Having said that I have no concerns feeding him in public if I want to.

AlexaShutUp · 14/03/2021 16:48

Sorry, I would have been embarrassed too. A babe in arms, fine, but the child walking next to you?

Why @HTH1?

StillCoughingandLaughing · 14/03/2021 16:49

Your friend should learn when to keep it zipped. Some people just fail to realise that not every tiny thought that goes through their brain has to come out of their mouth.