Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that most men do respect women

999 replies

katieloves · 13/03/2021 08:36

I’m concerned about the vilification of men that we’re hearing a lot about. I know there’s some men who disrespect women and this absolutely needs to stop, but equally I’ve witnessed women being equally disrespectful to men. I’ve seen plenty of women feeling up men etc. on a night out and it being laughed off. If this was reversed it would be considered assault. It feels like all men are being accused of treating women badly and I just don’t see it.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Haspotential · 13/03/2021 08:37

You're lucky to never have been a victim of crime.

TheWaif · 13/03/2021 08:39

That really depends on what degree you mean to!

Do most men completely 100% respect women, not just to the level of not sexually assaulting them? No, of course not.

HeathIns · 13/03/2021 08:41

I’m reading some of the threads on here today and misandry is definitely alive and well.

picklemewalnuts · 13/03/2021 08:41

Typed out a long answer but actually can't be arsed. You're rehashing stuff that's being discussed on thread after thread. Yes a few women do it at nightclubs while drunk, and it's equally wrong. I doubt schoolboys live in fear of being catcalled on the way home though.

Make violence is an issue. Get over it.

katieloves · 13/03/2021 08:41

@TheWaif the men I know including my 16 year old ds and his friends 100% respect women.

OP posts:
Haspotential · 13/03/2021 08:42

[quote katieloves]@TheWaif the men I know including my 16 year old ds and his friends 100% respect women.[/quote]
You know that how?

TheWaif · 13/03/2021 08:44

Yes, how could you possibly know what goes on inside someone else's mind? Or how they are at work, school, in public when you aren't there.

BrumBoo · 13/03/2021 08:45

[quote katieloves]@TheWaif the men I know including my 16 year old ds and his friends 100% respect women.[/quote]
They respect women in the way society have told them to respect women. That doesnt equate to what is true respect. Many many men think they're 'nice respectful guys', but many have still got odd or offensive ideas of what being respectful of women is, or more to the point what behaviour they expect of women in return of this 'respect'.

sar302 · 13/03/2021 08:45

I'm not concerned for them, no.
I have a wonderful husband, a great dad, lovely male friends, AND the capacity to understand that men - as a sex - still present a very real threat to women across the world.

MsMiaWallace · 13/03/2021 08:45

Is it possibly generational experience?
Through my time. Unfortunately I would say that the majority of men I've known, met, seen etc have been abusive to women in one way or another.
I'm in my 30s now.

Dogscanteatonions · 13/03/2021 08:45

I suspectb if you were privy to your 16 year olds conversations with his mates you might think otherwise.

Firstbellini · 13/03/2021 08:46

I am pleased you have a lovely DS. That is great. You’ve done a good job raising him to be a decent person.

The men I know, including in my own family, don’t respect women.

Worldgonecrazy · 13/03/2021 08:47

I think you’re quite naive. Some men fool women with their behaviours, but one only needs to look at the percentages of men who watch porn, who have affairs, who use prostitutes, who commit violence, who carry out micro aggressions such as speaking over women in meetings, who ogle teenage girls when out, who profess to live women but really only those women who conform to his idea of what a woman should be...... the list goes on and on.

I have been close to a lot of men so I’m basing my assessment on a statistically significant figure and the number of men who treat women as fellow humans is probably less than 10 percent. If you have one like that, hang on tight because he is a rare creature.

ineedaholidaynow · 13/03/2021 08:48

For people who think very few men respect women do you have male partners, would you risk getting pregnant and having a son?

user14515324156262562 · 13/03/2021 08:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

YoniAndGuy · 13/03/2021 08:48

Nope, don’t agree for a moment.

NAMALT - bullshit, more like BLOM (Bloody Loads Of Men)

Firstbellini · 13/03/2021 08:48

It isn’t generational. I have a teen DD and the treatment of young women by her uni peers has been horrendous.

katieloves · 13/03/2021 08:50

@Dogscanteatonions you could possibly say that about my 14 year old dds friends conversations too then. Why do you think it’s just males that are disrespectful?

OP posts:
VettiyaIruken · 13/03/2021 08:51

It's ok for people to focus on women you know. We don't have to put men at the centre of everything and prioritise their feelings.

I am sick to death of namalt. We all know that not all men assault or kill women. We all know most people of either sex are decent people. Can we not have one bloody conversation centered around women without it turning into the 'its not fair on men' show!

Goawayquickly · 13/03/2021 08:51

Some of the things my daughter tells me about the teenage boys she knows make me so sad and angry. I have no doubt their parents think they're lovely young men.

Firstbellini · 13/03/2021 08:51

Ineedaholiday, I do have an adult son. He’s aware himself that he struggles with how he behaves in relationships and is trying to work on it.

debbiegotthejobandwelldone · 13/03/2021 08:52

You know you will attract a certain type of posters who don't reflect the real world.

Many posters have a very unhealthy attitude towards men in general. I am not victim blaming or criticising the posters who have come in numbers to describe having been raped several times by different men in their lifetime, or the ones victim of paedophiles without any help. It's difficult to get statistic over unreported crimes to see how many women really have been such victims.

But you also have a lot of men haters who seem very weak and passive in life, and who lash out on a forum: posters who pretend anyone in a relationship with a MAN is losing all freedom/independence/happiness.

Anyone who agrees with you will be accused of being a cool wife, blaating about NAMAALT, trying to defend their little darling sons and so on.

Of course most men respect women, most fathers respect their daughters (at least in our country, some things are more muddled up in some other cultures), most husbands respect their wives, most doctors respect their patients, most teachers respect their students, most policemen are family men or women who respect people

AnyFucker · 13/03/2021 08:52

Is that you, Davina ?

SmileEachDay · 13/03/2021 08:53

On Twitter, two days ago, #namalt was trending higher than #SarahEverard.

The “nice guys” were so desperate to point out that they hadn’t murdered any women that their first reaction was to shift the focus to how nice they are rather than focusing on Sarah Everard, or any of the women discussing this dreadful case.

A woman was kidnapped and murdered. We don’t quite know what she went through, but I can’t stop thinking about how terrified she must have been.

Really “nice guys” aren’t interrupting that in a stampede of #fuckingnamalt.

pollylocketpickedapocket · 13/03/2021 08:54

[quote katieloves]@TheWaif the men I know including my 16 year old ds and his friends 100% respect women.[/quote]
As far as they let you see.