Is there any woman who hasn’t experienced male harrassment

[Twintub]

I was thinking about this and was initially thinking things have massively improved since I was young in the 80’s. I experienced flashers, a teacher tried to kiss me in high school he was married baby on the way, a pub boss whose girlfriend worked with him tried to kiss and grope me and another middle aged boss in my late 20s that pulled my trousers down at a night away for work. There were many more. Now I’m in my 40s I thought I don’t get bothered much but then I remembered 2 other pre covid instances. One late night train a drunk guy tried to chat to friend she politely said she wasn't interested and he got Aggressive calling her a speccy lesbian. Another instance my friend and I in a pub and a middle aged drunk man obviously on a business trip chatted up my friend she wasn’t interested I very nicely said we are just having a chat he turned on me and called me an ugly bitch He wasn’t talk h to me and I wasn’t a patch on her etc etc his work mates dragged him away.

What amazes me is men behave like this bit raise daughters who in turn get treated like this.

No, no and NO! 😐

This is going to be a very short thread if you’re just looking to hear from those who haven’t experienced unwanted male harassment OP!

I’ve been yelled at out of cars, one time a man tried to get me in his car, sexually assaulted in the women’s toilets in a club, touched on the thigh on the bus, touched in pubs and clubs... I could go on.

Men who don’t do these things, not doing it isn’t good enough, you need to call it out with other men. This needs to be socially unacceptable behaviour from EVERYONE, and not left to carry on, cos boys will be boys 🙄

I'm 28 and have not experienced male harassment or even come close to. There's obviously a lot of women out there who have been, but I think the numbers are exaggerated and are still small compared to those who have not been.

All my life I have been sexually harassed by men.

I am 46.

I've been harassed by both men and women

I would say the percentage of women who haven't experienced it at some point in their lives is low. Every woman I know has been harassed or assaulted in some form. That includes me.

100% been harassed esp in teens and early 20s.
Not for ages and I’m middle aged now but I’m still nervous walking home in dark etc. I usually ask dh to pick me up from station or bus stop but if he’s not around I get the keys in the hand etc. and talk to him on phone.
Even I’ve grown up with the thought that women need to protect themselves as men ‘can’t help it’, but really it shouldn’t all be on us at all.

I have had the no means no conversation with my DS but I’m going to have a wider conversation around these kind of things. My husband pointed out that he has also had his bum touched and woman trying to get frisky with him which is not on either. I also recall and incident n holiday my DS was very upset as a young girl touched him repeatedly as that’s what daddy did to mummy and we brushed it off and didn’t confront the parents but imagine the fall out from the reverse. That is not ok either

@HaNNaHC92

I'm 28 and have not experienced male harassment or even come close to. There's obviously a lot of women out there who have been, but I think the numbers are exaggerated and are still small compared to those who have not been.

You could not be more wrong.

I haven't, it's certainly not something that has caused me any anguish in my life, despite a long career in a very male domintated industry.

I've experience sexism e.g. the HR manager who wrote me off when I got engaged (in 1989) but not harassment. Even the sexism hasn't been extreme, on the whole I think I've had equal opportunity, with a few idiots to overcome.

It does make me wonder though if I've just missed it. Perhaps I didn't notice because it was so normal?

However, what I think made a massive difference to me was a wonderful father. He had two daughters and instead of regretting the lack of sons, treated us exactly like sons, we were taught to aim high and believe we could do anything at all. I think that entirely changed my demeanour at work and elsewhere, in how I expected to be treated and thereby influenced the way others treated me too.

Dad also supported mum being a FT working mother in the 1970s, so I had the role model too. He was a about the only one who did, her female relatives thought she was wicked and told her so often.

It's sad to have to admit it, but men are the solution to this problem.

I.e. fathers who treat their daughters as princesses are part of the problem.

@HaNNaHC92

I'm 28 and have not experienced male harassment or even come close to. There's obviously a lot of women out there who have been, but I think the numbers are exaggerated and are still small compared to those who have not been.

No. Whatever your threshold for what constitutes harassment, women have received unwanted advances from men since the dawn of time. Read a history book. We all have a story & a fear that never leaves as a result.

HaNNaHC92
I'm 28 and have not experienced male harassment or even come close to. There's obviously a lot of women out there who have been, but I think the numbers are exaggerated and are still small compared to those who have not been.

I’d love to hear this was true for the generation below mine but I suspect it’s not

I'm 30 and have never experienced harassment from men. The only man who has ever really spoken to me has been DH! I'm the sort of person who blends into the background and is never noticed, which maybe is a good thing reading this thread.

HaNNaHC92

I don’t think they are exaggerated, and I think it’s mostly luck whether it happens to you or not. I am 21 and thus far have lived a sheltered life. Still:

-I was sexually abused as a child
-I had someone put their hand up my skirt on the school bus because I wouldn’t give up my seat for them, and proceed to call me a frigid bitch (amongst other nasty things- for the entirety of the hour long journey)
-I have been shouted at in the street a lot
-I have had a teacher who would always put his hands on our thighs (often in front of other teachers)
-I have been grabbed in clubs on numerous occasions, and one some man decided to given me a hickey and force me to give him my number without so much as a hello, he came from nowhere!

@ThighsofSteel

I haven't, it's certainly not something that has caused me any anguish in my life, despite a long career in a very male domintated industry.

I've experience sexism e.g. the HR manager who wrote me off when I got engaged (in 1989) but not harassment. Even the sexism hasn't been extreme, on the whole I think I've had equal opportunity, with a few idiots to overcome.

It does make me wonder though if I've just missed it. Perhaps I didn't notice because it was so normal?

However, what I think made a massive difference to me was a wonderful father. He had two daughters and instead of regretting the lack of sons, treated us exactly like sons, we were taught to aim high and believe we could do anything at all. I think that entirely changed my demeanour at work and elsewhere, in how I expected to be treated and thereby influenced the way others treated me too.

Dad also supported mum being a FT working mother in the 1970s, so I had the role model too. He was a about the only one who did, her female relatives thought she was wicked and told her so often.

It's sad to have to admit it, but men are the solution to this problem.

I think that's nonsense to be honest. It doesn't matter how you were brought up, you can still be harassed. I'm very self confident and don't accept being treated any less than a man but the men who shout sexual comments at me from their van windows and the man who grabbed my crotch while he was walking past me in the street don't care.

here's obviously a lot of women out there who have been, but I think the numbers are exaggerated and are still small compared to those who have not been

Really? I don't know anyone who hasn't and I'm old now.

As a child man exposed himself to me. Looking back it was shocking and I can remember it distinctly and it was a very long time ago.

Early 20s groped by my dentist whilst in the chair and he sent the nurse out. That has stuck with me forever.

Chased by a group of guys when on holiday, me and friend felt we were running for our lives back to our hotel.

Those are just the 'highlights' plenty more.

@HaNNaHC92

I'm 28 and have not experienced male harassment or even come close to. There's obviously a lot of women out there who have been, but I think the numbers are exaggerated and are still small compared to those who have not been.

On what basis are the numbers "exaggerated"?

In the past 30 years I have been: beaten up once, forced into unwanted sex acts twice, had minor physical abuse while pregnant, undergone unnecessary internal examinations and abusive touching by a male gynaecologist, been subjected to verbal abuse countless times, been called a whore because I asked for a divorce, and I have been humiliated, vilified and ostracised by both men and women for challenging the established gender roles around parenting and working.

@Twintub

HaNNaHC92 I'm 28 and have not experienced male harassment or even come close to. There's obviously a lot of women out there who have been, but I think the numbers are exaggerated and are still small compared to those who have not been.

I’d love to hear this was true for the generation below mine but I suspect it’s not

I'd like to think it was true to, but you only have to be a woman with an opinion (and not even a controversial one) on twitter to see it devolve into a cesspit of rape threats, criticisms over appearance, death threats. It's depressing.

I'm 10 years older than HaNNa and pretty much every single woman I know has experienced harassment. I was 10 years old when it started to me...

I believe every woman has to some extent, whether that's a single inappropriate comment, repeated unwanted attention or being physically touched/assaulted. I spent yesterday thinking of instances where I myself had been harassed or received unwanted attention and to begin with I only remembered 2 instances, then I later remember another 2, even today I keep remembering more times that I'd pushed from my memory and now I remember at least 5.

I'd say even if a woman comes along and says No, I've never been harassed by a man, I'd say there's a high chance they have been and have just chosen to or subconsciously forget it or simply didn't consider it harassment, I wouldn't class myself being followed by a man as harassment, but did he make me uncomfortable? Yes. So instead of asking if a woman has ever been harassed, I'd probably ask has a man ever made you feel uncomfortable or anxious, I bet every woman would say yes to that.

Ah too, not to! Stupid phone.

Women that have experienced it but don’t think it was harassment perhaps

@Avaganda

I'm 30 and have never experienced harassment from men. The only man who has ever really spoken to me has been DH! I'm the sort of person who blends into the background and is never noticed, which maybe is a good thing reading this thread.

That last sentence feeds into the victim blaming around male violence. If you only keep yourself to yourself you won't be harassed. If only you'll just shut up and blend in you'll be safe.

Women hold these attitudes, it's so deeply ingrained into our thinking.

I live in Tower Hamlets and as a woman I get a lot of harrassment here and don't feel safe walking alone at night or even early evening. There is a lot of misogyny here.

Groped countless times

Asked by one of my law professors if I was only reading the FT because it was pink (even though he knew I was in course for a first)

Told I looked like Katie Holmes by a drunk man who leaned in for a kiss and then said ‘only kidding, you’re like her sad, fat cousin’ when I backed away

Chased by an ex boyfriend of my sister through a shopping centre while he screamed obscenities at me

Told I was ‘rapeable’ by a boy in my school as he and his friends categorised all of the girls into rapeable and unrapeable based on how pretty we were.

It starts young, it doesn’t stop, and it is truly frightening how fast a man can switch from charming to vicious as soon as he realises you don’t want to get involved with him.