Too Many Men

[JackieBeaver]

I'm feeling very sad about the Sarah Everard case. Poor poor woman. There's a lot of stories coming out now from women who have experienced feeling unsafe due to the behaviour of men with the hashtag toomanymen trending on Twitter and Green Party peer baroness Jones calling for a 6pm curfew of all men.

We need a change! This can't go on, I'm so tired of feeling unsafe and unable to go about my business without fearing for my safety. I'm worried for my dd also

Enough is enough

I also feel very sad for Sarah Everard and am also concerned for the safety of my wife and daughters. Making the assumption that all men are likely to be a threat to women and need to be locked up at night is divisive and frankly offensive.

It's really sad to hear all the stories I've got to say though you mentioning the green party baroness is something that I hate as its just saying something to be stupid and catch attention from a sad event. How would it even work? And there's no way millions of men would comply and rightly so. Just an exercise at getting her name out there.

@FrustratedTeddyLamp

It's really sad to hear all the stories I've got to say though you mentioning the green party baroness is something that I hate as its just saying something to be stupid and catch attention from a sad event. How would it even work? And there's no way millions of men would comply and rightly so. Just an exercise at getting her name out there.

I agree with this. She's succeeded in getting publicity for herself and her political party out of a terrible crime. Clear a curfew on men is never going to be a workable solution.

A curfew is a ridiculous suggestion. The issue is rooted in misogyny and education is the answer.

I agree something needs to be done but you cannot impose a curfew on men. That's just ridiculous.

Green Party peer baroness Jones calling for a 6pm curfew of all men.

I have never read anything more silly. The stupidity of this just makes the whole arguement seem ridiculous

It's a truly harrowing story her poor family and friends must be beside themselves, however I think people are forgetting his wife has also been arrested for assisting and offender, which means she knew and was either terrified or complicit I hope it's not the latter.
What we can't do is ban all men from the streets but what we can do is raise flags when we see or experience predatory behaviours and get as many of these individuals named and on Sex Offending registerers more often than not this is not the first offence and as is panning out with this case he had indecently exposed himself earlier on in the evening.
Patterns of behaviour that don't have intervention early on can sadly lead to these individuals committing the most awful crimes.
Growing up in a home with only women we were burgled and targeted over and over always by men, one even had a knife and my mum had to literally fight for our lives to get him out thankgod that she did, something needs to be done about these depraved men who have zero concern for the lives & safety of women.

How disgustingly narcissistic to take a tragedy and make it all about you. Ugh.

Men have effectively imposed a curfew on women so why cant one be imposed back. Its mens collective behaviour that has created this issue, not womens, why should we suffer. Perhaps if there were actual consequences for their behaviour change might occur. Education and the opportunity to do better has all failed, its not going to suddenly work now.

I’d assume she’s not making a serious proposal, but highlighting that when women go missing, media and society tends to focus on them and their behaviour rather than that of the men who hurt them. I’ve already seen, elsewhere, the victim-blaming comments about “she should have taken a taxi not walked in the dark” or “it said she’d had wine with her friend, perhaps that made her less wary” - or this year’s favourite, “well, what was she even doing, going out for no essential reason and meeting a friend, there’s a pandemic on, don’t you know.”

Nothing pisses me off more than the "not all men" hashtag. Because it's enough men to make women fear for their lives. What the fuck good is it to point out that maybe a particular guy might not want to rape or murder me or my children?

Enough men coerce and beat and rape and kill women, that it's safer to assume every man you pass is a bad one.

I agree that a curfew is unworkable but how many women restrict their movements to times and places where they feel safe? It's offensive to suggest an action, however unworkable, which might protect us but not offensive that women's freedom is restricted by fear of male violence.

If you wish to complain about male violence you can only do so if you make it clear NAMALT otherwise you'll hurt men's feelings and it will be your fault they're not sympathetic to your point.

It would be lovely if we could discuss the issue without having to clarify NAMALT first, it would seem as if men though women's safety came before their feelings.

Very offensive to suggest all men need to be on a curfew to keep women safe.

The ludicrous curfew completely undermines the whole argument about women feeling, and in very many cases not actually being, safe outside of their homes. And indeed inside their homes.

Not feeling*

Feel terribly sorry for this poor young lady and her family .However there are reports that her attacker is a serving Police Officer!How would a curfew of men (completely unworkable) have helped in this case exactly!

I'm just not sure what we can do. I totally understand why you're saying 'enough is enough ' but even if we do everything to improve men's behaviour there will still be murderers and rapists. Some people are bad. I wish we didn't have to be careful but I will certainly continue to be careful and I'll teach my son to be both respectful but also to be careful and if I had a daughter I would teach her to be safe and careful. That's not victim blaming, it's just reality.

@dottiedodah

Feel terribly sorry for this poor young lady and her family .However there are reports that her attacker is a serving Police Officer!How would a curfew of men (completely unworkable) have helped in this case exactly!

I believe he was off duty at the time.

There should be an annual night, like 'reclaim the night', where men voluntarily curfew and women get a night out less constrained by the presence of men.

The decent men who'd never scare or manhandle a woman can demonstrate their decency by supportively staying home. Anyone still out is an arsehole (work excepted).

Whowantstoknow. I would be very upset to live in a world where "every man we pass is a "bad one"!Yes of course there are attacks on women ,which is completely unacceptable .However my Son /DH friends who are male /very respectful of women ,do not all deserve to be tarred by one solitary brush.Also isnt it a known fact that most women are targeted by someone they know? In this case a PC appears to have committed this heinous crime ,so should we take all of the male police off the streets at night then?!

Men are more likely to be murdered by a stranger in the street than women, significantly more likely.

Women are mostly likely to be murdered in intimate partner homicide.

A curfew is ridiculous.

But we don't do anything about the behaviour that causes this. DV in the home growing up, the normalisation of violence amongst boys growing up, violent porn available to children. And all the NAMALT nonsense. I've been sexually harassed in the street since 11, in full view of other people. Only twice has another man come to help. One of whom was a stranger who I still know.

Men do see this shit, they do. They hear DV, they condone violent, non-consensual porn, they visit strip clubs, they make rape jokes. Not all of them but a significant chunk. Prostitution is doing a roaring trade. Even the men who wouldn't rape and murder someone are fully steeped in rape culture and misogyny.

@sausagerollcake

Men are more likely to be murdered by a stranger in the street than women, significantly more likely.

Women are mostly likely to be murdered in intimate partner homicide.

And those 'strangers' and 'intimate partners' are mostly men.

Your point being?

Men have effectively imposed a curfew on women so why cant one be imposed back. Its mens collective behaviour that has created this issue, not womens, why should we suffer

Let's say 1 in 1000 men attack strange women on the street, and 1 in 100,000 women do. A curfew on everyone would mean 99.95% of people affected were innocent, a curfew on men would mean 99.9% of affected people were innocent. The difference between 99.95% and 99.9% doesn't seem that big to me, it would be as fair to put a curfew on everyone as it would be to put one only on men.

The golden chestnut of “not all men”.

Have you not read the timely figures published today that 97% of young women in the UK have been sexually harassed and 80% of ALL women have been sexually assaulted. So it might not be all men but it is a very large number of men. Should we just ignore that to spare unit feelings? Stop resisting and adding to the problem, get on board and make a change happen instead.