Too Many Men

[JackieBeaver]

I'm feeling very sad about the Sarah Everard case. Poor poor woman. There's a lot of stories coming out now from women who have experienced feeling unsafe due to the behaviour of men with the hashtag toomanymen trending on Twitter and Green Party peer baroness Jones calling for a 6pm curfew of all men.

We need a change! This can't go on, I'm so tired of feeling unsafe and unable to go about my business without fearing for my safety. I'm worried for my dd also

Enough is enough

@Pulledamonica

A curfew is a ridiculous suggestion. The issue is rooted in misogyny and education is the answer.

I agree. Rape and murder is already illegal and yet men do it anyway. Why do we think all men are going to comply with a curfew? Not to mention, it is unfair to the majority of men who have not committed a crime. It's discrimination.

The majority of abuse against women happens within the home or workplace. People are suggesting a curfew. How on earth is this going to help the situation. Weirdo's who feel they can randomly abuse, atttack, rape or murder women will do it irrespective of curfews, laws. The risk of serious abuse is prison. This does not deter these types of people, so why are people suggesting a curfew will?
The problem is, at the source and lack of support of the matter.

Women ought to be taught self defence regularly from secondary school age, and throughout the workplace. Not just a 1 day session, or 6 week course. Women need to be be made aware of classic abusers behaviours to be aware of. Males need to be educated consistently from secondary, throughout the work place on appropriate conduct towards women. This needs to become the norm for everyone. Women need to feel some confidence, and men need to appreciate how vulnerable females regularly feel in relationships, exiting relationships, out of relationships, and in the workplace, and walking alone etc. The only way forward is to educate.
Womens Aid refuges are being closed down due to lack of funding and support. Never ever due to lack of need.
The amount of times, I've had my butt grabbed or breasts, accidently brushed past, with a tongue in cheek, 'ooh, did I just touch your breasts?' Never once have a grabbed a mans crotch, or brushed his penis by accident. Sadly, as many women have, I've had to laugh it off. The alternative, to report is intimidating in itself. The fuss it would cause. How the other person would feel. I agree that men need to think about how it feels for the female BEFORE doing such behaviours. The terms prick tease, slag, whore, slapper tart, trollope, are all words aimed at women. For guys, it Stud, Jack the lad. There is a clear difference, and I embrace all these discussions.
All of these inappropriate behavipurs have become the norm sadly.

Women ought to be taught self defence regularly from secondary

You do realise that women who are highly trained in combat are still abused and raped right?

Policewomen, women in the Army, Navy, boxers,street fighters etc.

Being able to fight , is one thing. Being able to use that to escape a serious assault is another, and in most cases increases the chances of being hurt even more or even killed.

[quote Mango87]@MagentaZebras
Sorry to hear that I have also been terrified of men[/quote]
There are very good reasons for that terror.

A man exposing himself to me aged 8.

Men being abusive in the street from aged 12 onwards.

My step father raping me from when I was a 14 year old.

Many men after that taking advantage of me having a breakdown about this and being on (doctor prescribed) medication that was never licensed to give to under 18s - therefore no consent - rape.

Then more verbal abuse, street harrassment and groping. Threatening behaviour, stalking. Etc.

Then abusive relationships. More threatening behaviour in public.

Thanks for you being "sorry I feel like this". Maybe we should start examining the things that make people "feel like this" and stop them happening before they happen to our daughters as well. We've all had enough now.

A curfew is ridiculous and will not solve the problem. Violent crimes against women will happen at any time of day...so will we now say men cannot leave their homes at any time and should be under house arrest 24/7?

In which case the pubs, hotels and clubs etc will only have women after 6pm? Men work in many jobs (doctors, nurses, firefighters, doormen, waiters, hospitality staff and more) that take them late into the night....does this mean they all have to work dayshifts.

Those who do these things are criminals....they will be criminals regardless.

@SandyY2K

A curfew is ridiculous and will not solve the problem. Violent crimes against women will happen at any time of day...so will we now say men cannot leave their homes at any time and should be under house arrest 24/7?

In which case the pubs, hotels and clubs etc will only have women after 6pm? Men work in many jobs (doctors, nurses, firefighters, doormen, waiters, hospitality staff and more) that take them late into the night....does this mean they all have to work dayshifts.

Those who do these things are criminals....they will be criminals regardless.

Nobody is seriously saying that. It was a sarcastic comment to show how ridiculous it is to put it on women to protect themselves from predatory men and hide in the house, rather than actually deal with the problem of male violence. Nobody expects society to be 100% safe for men or women in public spaces: psychopaths will always exist. However, we can tackle the underlying social prejudices that normalise this treatment of women as objects and prey, from the "banter" to the rapes; it's all the same thing just different ends of the same spectrum. Any place on that spectrum needs to be made unacceptable as racist comments have, not just actually beating up people of another race. This is exactly the same: a hate crime and the more it is normalised the more it escalates. And men, who in groups, think it's ok to engage in misogynistic banter need to understand that it is just as disgusting as laughing at racist jokes from their friends, so they change the culture. Women cannot make it change without men stopping it at the roots.

Actually, I do think a curfew would help as a symbolic act. Yes, it won't affect those men who are the worst perpetrators of rape and sexual violence who are already breaking the law, but it would make them more VISIBLE to us.

Yes, it could make the situation worse for dv victims, but again, those perps are breaking the law already and who knows, it may make their situations more visible too.

As for it being discriminatory, maybe, but we exclude all men from ladies' loos and no one says "oooh but NAMALT" (except for a well publicised subsection of MRAs/TRAs and even they're unrepresentative).

So maybe temporary curfews are the answer. I'd be curfewed once a week willingly if it highlighted the situation that we face every day.

MagentaZebras
Thanks. I’m with you on this
-but how do we stop people from wanting to abuse and be violent to other people?
How do we educate them and can they ever change? Prevention is better than cure as they say

I pity anyone who’s ever had to deal with a psychopath. Sadly it can be a genetic problem so it’s not necessarily their fault.
About the men who aren’t ‘complete’ psychopaths (a man told me once that he thought men are missing something that makes them less caring), how do we get them to pull together and change themselves or get/help other men to change themselves?

Actually, I do think a curfew would help as a symbolic act.

I think there should be one every year on 'International Women's Day'. That day is pretty useless as it stands, nothing is done to commemorate it. A day for women to take over all public places sounds good to me.

Dd who is early 20s thinks the curfew idea is nuts and would make the streets less safe.
Those guys who obey the law would stay in and those that wanted to “cause trouble”would identify as a woman for the night and ignore the ruling anyway so you would be even more unsafe

www.channel4.com/news/shocking-cctv-footage-shows-off-duty-police-officer-violently-assaulting-woman

This is why this shit happens and keeps happening.

£500 and a curfew. Great!

Until the justice system takes crimes against women seriously, any changes that we can do will be painfully slow.