Getting too thin?

[mmner31]

Hello Mumsnetters,

12 months ago I started losing weight through IF (16:8) and reducing portion sizes of meals. I also started walking more, which in turn lead me into starting jogging. I'm 5ft7 and I started at 13st9 and I'm now 10st 2. DP has expressed his concern that I am starting to look too thin.

I have explained that I still fast (for the health benefits) but do eat considerably more than I did when trying to lose weight. To be honest I do not wish to lose anymore weight as I am a healthy weight for my height.

Has anyone actually got too thin and then had a comment made by a DP/DH or even a close friend/family member/?

@Jemenfouscompletement

Congratulations on the weight loss! 10 stone for 5'7 is normal, definitely not too thin, but if you've lost over 3 stone it's obvious you will look a lot thinner to people as they were used to seeing you overweight, even obese. Your DH could be jealous of your weight loss too...

Thank you. Yes I think it has shocked him which is why he expressed his concerns.

As for jealous... I'm not too sure

My husband lose 10stone and he looked emaciated it was terrifying utterly horrific he still is far to thin and doesnt wat properly its changed our marriage completely

@Lockeddownagain wow!!! that is a lot to lose

I think one thing is that what is a normal weight nowadays when average size is 16 and 60% of us are overweight/obese may genuinely look to some people as too thin.

Then when it's combined with weightloss so change, it just hits you in the eye. Like people who normally wear glasses. If you see them with glasses for years, they will look "naked" iyswim.

He ended up in the priory out patients if I could change anything in my life story it would his weight loss and the effects it had on our family listen to your husband hes just worried x

@Lockeddownagain that must be very hard to live with someone with these issues and live with these issues. I hope he is getting, or is better now and you too

@Lockeddownagain that sounds awful. I hope you and your DH are both ok.

It's a weird one, because when you are over weight or getting larger, people don't tend to say, 'Oh my god, aren't you getting fatter' But when people lose weight, so many people feel they can make derogatory comments. I weigh the same as you but am a bit taller, and the amount of rude comments I get. It's unbelievable. People actually say 'you should eat more' I would never say to someone large 'Oh you should eat less'. People aren't stupid. If people want to be bigger or thinner, then they can choose to try and do something. I don't know why people make it there business to comment. The last thing you need after working so hard to feel better about yourself, is for someone to make you feel not good enough again, so you start etaing more and then end up back at square one.

@Ozziewoz

It's a weird one, because when you are over weight or getting larger, people don't tend to say, 'Oh my god, aren't you getting fatter' But when people lose weight, so many people feel they can make derogatory comments. I weigh the same as you but am a bit taller, and the amount of rude comments I get. It's unbelievable. People actually say 'you should eat more' I would never say to someone large 'Oh you should eat less'. People aren't stupid. If people want to be bigger or thinner, then they can choose to try and do something. I don't know why people make it there business to comment. The last thing you need after working so hard to feel better about yourself, is for someone to make you feel not good enough again, so you start etaing more and then end up back at square one.

I agree with you @Ozziewoz. Nobody commented when I was over 13st. I think some people are used to seeing overweight/obese as the norm in society today. You only have to look around when you go shopping (when everywhere was open!) to realise that as a nation we are getting bigger. However, if someone says "you're getting fat" or "you're getting too thin" its seen as an insult. Some people keep their weight as a private issue away from everyone. Its a sensitive topic and for some people, what others say (without thinking) can be detrimental to their mental health and wellbeing.

Nobody commented when I was over 13st.

Nobody commented when I was 23.6 stone😂 Except my furniture...

Once I lost weight and fit into size 10 (before the big up) instead of 12-14 and my father kept testing my sugar if I don't have a diabetes. Nah. It was that 12hour waitressing shifts. Never tested me when I out on weight 🙄

We get MN threads where ppl are offended because no one complimented them on weight loss, too.

@lljkk

We get MN threads where ppl are offended because no one complimented them on weight loss, too.

Can't win either way haha

You sound like a perfect weight, and if you are happy that's what really matters. As for other people not commenting on weight gain .... my (very slim) mother can spot one excess pound at 100 paces. I kept my coat on last weekend because I am 9 stone 2 (usually 8 stone 10 at 5 foot 8). This is why I rate relaxation over a few pounds very highly and have never commented/would never comment on anyone else's.

@SchrodingersImmigrant thank you no it's not easy. Living with someone who is scared of food is very tough

@Lobsterquadrille2 Thank you. You sound slim at 9stone2. Its a shame your mother comments. Was she ever overweight herself? Does she enjoy saying to you and/or friends/family members that you've put on weight?

@mmner31. Thank you. We survive but it's not easy. I find weight loss very triggering I struggle with joe wicks and we and all these things promoting disordered eating and glamorousing it. X

I’m the same height and weight as OP and watch what I eat to stay that way. I’m often told I’m thin or too thin by friends and particularly by my DM. All the commenters are heavier than me.

I don’t think they are consciously jealous but we all judge the world in relation to ourselves.

@mmner31 she's never been overweight and at 90, in great shape - extremely vain and definitely an advocate of appearances being everything. But does criticise anyone in the family for being anything other than very slim! Unlikely to change now 😏.

I’m 5’ 7 and in the last 7 months I have gone from 18 st 2 to 13 st 12. I’m aiming for 10 st. Not sure what it will look like yet but I intend to appear similar to the last time I weighed 10 st, only 27 years ago . My comeback would be “oh that’s funny, my gp is very happy with my current weight”.

" I lost half a stone. I went down to six and a half stone [5ft 3in] and thought it was brilliant until I told my best friend and she said I looked awful and haggard ~ I was 25.

It gave me the jolt I needed ~ I started eating more sensibly until I went back to my pre pregnancy weight give or take and have stayed virtually the same ever since."

That's totally different as you were underweight. OP is in the middle of the range for her height!

No but my husband lost weight a whole back and although he wasn't down to his target weight (ie a good weight for him about 10 years ago) but he started to look really gaunt and skeleton like. He lost all the fat from his face. And looked v thin. He put back on half a stone and looked about right.

It's odd as it was about a stone heavier than he used to be when younger.

• PandoraP

I don’t think you sound too thin, but you probably look different. People have a distorted idea of what too thin looks like these days.*

I think there’s something in this. Recently went for my annual check up after breast cancer. Was embarrassed because I’ve gained weight in the two years since the last one (they weren’t doing them in 2020). When you’ve only got one boob and your weight’s always gone there, it really notices!
Told the radiologist, sorry, I’ve put on weight, you’re gonna need a bigger plate.”. She laughed then said “don’t be daft, you’re very slim.” I used to be, I’m really not now. Still within healthy weight but another couple of months ignoring it and I’ll definitely be nudging overweight.
I need to lose a good stone, not the two I’ve gained because I was too thin.

Told my husband later, said it’s odd that a health professional would say this and wondered whether because so many people are now overweight it’s become the norm?
When we were younger, both of our mums were weighted (not sure about dads) by the doctor and ticked off if they could “pinch more than an inch”.
(Now, that’s extreme, IMO but people were generally just smaller then)

@DenisetheMenace pinch more than an inch? That sounds controversial.

@Lemons1571

I’m 5’ 7 and in the last 7 months I have gone from 18 st 2 to 13 st 12. I’m aiming for 10 st. Not sure what it will look like yet but I intend to appear similar to the last time I weighed 10 st, only 27 years ago . My comeback would be “oh that’s funny, my gp is very happy with my current weight”.

You will get there. If you want it enough nothing will stop you.

I'm going to have a chat with DP later on. I'm going to ask him if he is worried about my weight etc.