Getting too thin?

[mmner31]

Hello Mumsnetters,

12 months ago I started losing weight through IF (16:8) and reducing portion sizes of meals. I also started walking more, which in turn lead me into starting jogging. I'm 5ft7 and I started at 13st9 and I'm now 10st 2. DP has expressed his concern that I am starting to look too thin.

I have explained that I still fast (for the health benefits) but do eat considerably more than I did when trying to lose weight. To be honest I do not wish to lose anymore weight as I am a healthy weight for my height.

Has anyone actually got too thin and then had a comment made by a DP/DH or even a close friend/family member/?

@RavingAnnie

No but my husband lost weight a whole back and although he wasn't down to his target weight (ie a good weight for him about 10 years ago) but he started to look really gaunt and skeleton like. He lost all the fat from his face. And looked v thin. He put back on half a stone and looked about right.

It's odd as it was about a stone heavier than he used to be when younger.

Did he lose it too quickly?

DenisetheMenace pinch more than an inch? That sounds controversial.

If it refers to your belly it's good sense.

@Jemenfouscompletement

DenisetheMenace pinch more than an inch? That sounds controversial.

If it refers to your belly it's good sense.

But surely everyone has more than an inch due to skin etc?

“If you can pinch more than an inch” was a special k advert. Pretty much everyone can. It’s meaningless.

@PurpleDaisies I've just googled it. It made me laugh

@jamthencreamyoufool

But I think that came from jealousy or insecurity. . (Maybe your DP thinks you're going to run off with someone else now you're thin?)

I actually feel sorry for these types of posters. What a horrible place your minds must be, so paranoid and negative.

Depends. If you've actually found your now-ex in the process of melting an entire block of butter into a pan of baked beans 'to make them look glossy for you', and defending himself by shouting that you're only trying to lose weight to be able to pick up more men at the gym anyway, it's not you with your mind in a horrible, paranoid and negative place.

mmner31

Yes, it does sound controversial now, but it was the reality in the 1960s/70s though. Very few people were overweight. Underweight was probably more of an issue then because of poor diets.

Until I was ill it wasn’t something I ever worried about. Then I got the (🤪) idea that the less cells I had, the less likely it was to come back so I got way too thin.

I think I’m over that now (thanks to Covid, a CEV husband, too little exercise and too much grub and plonk) and know what I feel comfortable with. I’m carefully going to lose a stone over the next few months but no more.

You sound pretty good to me 😊

We definitely have a distorted idea of what thin/normal is now. 3 years ago my BMI was just about into the obese range. I never weighed myself so I had absolutely no idea. I knew I was overweight but figured I probably had a half stone or so to lose. I don't know how the hell I figured that, as I'd gone up a jeans size a year for the preceding 3 years. But realistically, I was just a normal level of overweight. Heavier than some of my friends, thinner than quite a lot. Back in the 70s I would absolutely have been viewed as a fat person. In 2018 I was just an average person carrying a few extra pounds.

Now I'm a mid-range healthy weight I get a phenomenal amount of commentary about how skinny I am. This is especially common in the spring/summer when I'm not wearing layers and big jumpers. My grandmother frets that I'm not eating, family friends tell me I'm miserable thin, people tell me to take care of myself in a concerned voice, asking if I eat, being concerned if I turn down a snack or massive approval when they see me eat. Comments about how they can see my ribs or collar bone because we've forgotten that those bones are actually meant to be visible in the vast majority of people.

In all honesty it's pretty tiresome. I know I'm a healthy weight, in fact I'm athletic and strong. And despite that, you can pinch more than an inch on pretty much every part of me. I'm sad that at a point where I'm genuinely the healthiest I've ever been in my life I get so, so much concern from people. But when I was actually obese my immediate family were literally the only people who didn't tell me I didn't need to lose weight when I told them I had decided to eat better.

To be honest at 63 I don't care if I look too thin to other people. If I feel healthy and energetic with no blood pressure, blood sugar etc issues and I'm bang in the middle of my normal NHS BMI/weight range that's good enough for me. I like feeling light, looking good in clothes and able to wear anything and everything, and I feel like myself at this weight. Light enough that I have no joint pain, able to forget my body when I'm walking up hills. All that good stuff is far more important to me than looking thin in the face.

@alittleprivacy

We definitely have a distorted idea of what thin/normal is now. 3 years ago my BMI was just about into the obese range. I never weighed myself so I had absolutely no idea. I knew I was overweight but figured I probably had a half stone or so to lose. I don't know how the hell I figured that, as I'd gone up a jeans size a year for the preceding 3 years. But realistically, I was just a normal level of overweight. Heavier than some of my friends, thinner than quite a lot. Back in the 70s I would absolutely have been viewed as a fat person. In 2018 I was just an average person carrying a few extra pounds.

Now I'm a mid-range healthy weight I get a phenomenal amount of commentary about how skinny I am. This is especially common in the spring/summer when I'm not wearing layers and big jumpers. My grandmother frets that I'm not eating, family friends tell me I'm miserable thin, people tell me to take care of myself in a concerned voice, asking if I eat, being concerned if I turn down a snack or massive approval when they see me eat. Comments about how they can see my ribs or collar bone because we've forgotten that those bones are actually meant to be visible in the vast majority of people.

In all honesty it's pretty tiresome. I know I'm a healthy weight, in fact I'm athletic and strong. And despite that, you can pinch more than an inch on pretty much every part of me. I'm sad that at a point where I'm genuinely the healthiest I've ever been in my life I get so, so much concern from people. But when I was actually obese my immediate family were literally the only people who didn't tell me I didn't need to lose weight when I told them I had decided to eat better.

I agree with this. I used to get the same when I was absolutely middle of the range BMI. Told I was skinny, tiny, one colleague said she thought I had anorexia (I was 5'4 and 9.5 stone!) Family used to poke my ribs and fret I wasn't eating.

I look at photos of the 'fat' kids at school from 1970s and they look absolutely normal now. Our perception has radically changed. Not for the better.

But I think that came from jealousy or insecurity. . (Maybe your DP thinks you're going to run off with someone else now you're thin?)

I actually feel sorry for these types of posters. What a horrible place your minds must be, so paranoid and negative.

You may think it's paranoid but I know a good few people where this has actually been the case. They have lost weight and started taking care of themselves and their DH's had massive issues with it.

Yes, once my sister told me I looked like a lollipop and my small body made my head look big. I was very thin then, but I felt fucking fabulous! Now a slightly squishy 8/10 (we do all carry weight differently don't we? My last boss was a very bony size 12) and happy enough though I don't think clothes look good so easily as when I was very thin. Probably a symptom of growing up seeing Kate Moss etc in magazines, I think the younger gens have a healthier outlook.

I am 5 foot 7 and 13 stone 5. Am trying to lose weight through IF and exercise but it doesn’t work for me. I would love to know what kind of food you are eating. It would really help if you would be okay sharing? Re your weight loss, 11 stone is perfect for me. I would be a size 12 at that weight. If I was 10 stone 5, I would probably be a size 10 and look a bit skinny for my own preference but not too thin by some people’s standards. I have been too thin when I was 9 stone 12 and taking too many drugs in my 20s. I looked ill at that weight. I am in awe of your weight loss though. Maybe try to maintain now rather than lose any more.

Many years ago I lost a lot of weight without trying. I was stressed to breaking point and it fell off. Several people said I was too thin, I was. I looked dreadful.

Pearlescent could we be related . My shape is also hourglass (!) difference is if I were to put on say 2 stone my waist ( my favourite bit) would disappear and the boobs take over, clothes wouldn't fit right and I'd feel mumsy.

My mum had this, she'd been overweight her whole life. Got to a healthy bmi and everyone kept telling her not to lose any more weight.

The one time she was at a healthy weight, she felt great, less aches and pains and people moaned at her!

As others have said , people carry weight differently.
I don’t weigh myself , but I am a size 10/12 . ( I am 5ft 7) .If I lose weight and get to a 8/10 I look older and definitely less attractive

To be honest at 63 I don't care if I look too thin to other people. If I feel healthy and energetic with no blood pressure, blood sugar etc issues and I'm bang in the middle of my normal NHS BMI/weight range that's good enough for me. I like feeling light, looking good in clothes and able to wear anything and everything, and I feel like myself at this weight. Light enough that I have no joint pain, able to forget my body when I'm walking up hills. All that good stuff is far more important to me than looking thin in the face.

Well said, joystir59.

I was a size 12 at Secondary school and was certainly “the fat one” whereas now DD tells me that being skinny isn’t good as you need to have a bum to be seen as attractive.
I am a 14/16 now but am trying to lose a couple of stones but people do tell me I look younger than I am, I think the fat plumps out the wrinkles a bit which is why I wouldn’t want to get any smaller than a size 12 now I am approaching 50

@Mummadeze Am trying to lose weight through IF and exercise but it doesn’t work for me.

It doesn't really matter what method you use to lose weight, the ultimate key is calories in have to be less than calories out. In addition to that, there are studies that show that avoiding processed foods and sugars and sticking to whole foods, including a wide range of fruit and veg, lead to quicker weightloss. So the main thing is to eat really well but in a deficit. Be mindful about what you are drinking as a lot of people underestimate the calories in their fluids.

Another important factor is to not eat your work out calories. People almost always overestimate how much the use working out, so it's best to leave them out if you are calculating what to eat. If you are eating based on your hunger cues, always make sure you are drinking lots of water/rehydration fluid during and after workouts. Sometimes it's easy to feel hungry when really your body needs fluid and maybe sodium and potassium. So have a good drink and wait a little while to assess whether or not you are hungry.

And lastly be careful with intermittent fasting. The massive benefits of this style of eating that you read about are for male bodies. Women have different needs and there are a few emerging studies that show a long fasting period can be disruptive to hormone cycles in some women. (Unfortunately there just really isn't anything close to enough research on women's bodily health in terms of nutrition or fitness/strength, we are just assumed to be bigger men.) For me, cutting out processed sugar, cutting down on simple carbs (to one, maybe two portions of bread/pasta/potatoes a day unless I was especially active) and increasing protein and fruit/veg was how I lost weight. I started exercising when I was at a lower weight by finding activities I just love to do and actively choose as a 'treat' because the just make me happy.

That's smaller men that we're assumed to be. Not bigger. Doh!

@harknesswitch

My mum had this, she'd been overweight her whole life. Got to a healthy bmi and everyone kept telling her not to lose any more weight.

The one time she was at a healthy weight, she felt great, less aches and pains and people moaned at her!

Its quite sad that people can't be happy that she got healthier, less aches and pains, less at risk of diabetes/stroke etc.

You’ve just made me remember. It’s interesting what comments you get if you get a bit more muscly too. I’ve worked out with weights for a long time now and I’ve had comments about looking “butch” (I really don’t). There’s no way that can be dressed up as a health concern in the way that being underweight might be.

UPDATE

I spoke to DP last night and he told me that he did prefer me bigger. But I said to him its not healthy to be carrying excess weight due to risk of diabetes etc. He then went on to say that he does not want me to get any thinner. So I asked him what he thought and he said to put some weight on as I am looking scrawny. Obviously a 3 stone loss will result in me looking slimmer than I did when I weighed over 13st. I said to him aren't you happy that I'm eating healthier and exercising. He said he just doesn't want me to waste away

What do you want? Do you want to carry on losing or are you happy where you are?