To insist husband is allowed into scan with me?

[Lass67]

Today experienced pain and bleeding in early pregnancy- tried to refer to EPAU which was a shit show in itself and ended up having to go to A&E as GP & midwife insisted wasn’t their responsibility to refer me and no self referrals accepted.

Husband allowed to stay with me in A&E and was a lovely support to be honest. When we finally got to EPAU he was told rather abruptly by receptionist he wasn’t allowed in. I waited hours to be seen alone listening to smooth FM in the waiting room (playing songs about being a parent FFS!) and wringing my hands before being seen by a very lovely doctor who had only been working in gynae a few weeks and struggled to tell me anything but told me my anatomy was ‘awkward’ and I’d need a scan- but by this point five hours after initially trying to get help scanning is shut and I have to come back tomorrow.

I then went out to find my husband sat in the cold with some other sad dads to be -not allowed to be with their partners.

I checked NHS England guidance and it says I’m allowed one support person with me at all points during antenatal care- updated December 2020 in light of Covid-19.
Royal college of obstetricians and gynaecologists agree.

Am I being unreasonable tomorrow if I insist on my husband being with me? I feel sick thinking of being told I’ve lost the baby on my own and then having to go outside and find him and have to repeat everything to him. It was hard enough today to retain what was being said. I understand if they want to minimise people in the waiting room but it was half empty and I don’t understand why they’d be able to contravene guidance from the organisation that commissions the service.

[GreenSlide]

'The argument from the college of midwives is daft. The harm caused by not allowing partners at appointments like this is clearly much greater than that arising from a potential to spread a disease which vulnerable people are now vaccinated against.'

Vulnerable people like pregnant people? Oh HANG ON they can't be vaccinated, so every single non essential person in a maternity ward is risking the health of every vulnerable pregnant mum in the place!

[NuclearDH]

My dd is shielding and isn't getting vaccinated until next week. I don't want to take Covid back to her

[SnackSizeRaisin]

My understanding is that you can have a partner in the scan but they are not allowed in the waiting area. That seems fair enough as it's obviously best for pregnant women not to have loads of extra people in a confined space. My partner hasn't been able to come to any scans as we had covid therefore he can't get an asymptomatic test for 3 months. (Negative covid test is required for a partner to attend in our area, and you can't get one if you had a positive test within 3 months). To be honest it hasn't bothered me at all. But then I haven't had bad news.

[cheesybean]

You should be able to have someone, but the rules are very tight at the moment.

I had to go to two scans to confirm my baby's death alone and have the procedure to remove it alone.

I sat in the recovery room with two people in the same boat.

This was only last month.

[GuacamoleParty]

So many people are going through so many shit healthcare situations on their own at the moment (myself included). Its rubbish, but the rules are there for good reasons, so unfortunately we all just have to suck it up and deal with it until things have calmed down.

[Penistoe]

I can’t believe some of the posters saying ‘I had to have a scan on my own so you should too or what makes you so special’. On a parents support group to boot.

When did people become so selfish and awful? Is it covid bringing out the worst in people.
People used to have a very bad experience at something and fight tooth and nail so no other people would have to go through the same thing.

[Jamboree01]

100% agree. This has changed people for the worse

[Trustisamust]

I was fortunate in that I was pregnant in the months before Covid was an issue and so my partner was with me for both scans (my third baby but his first...and last!)
However, I was due May 2020 which was at a peak in the pandemic. My local Trust were only allowing partners in for active labour and then asking them to leave pretty much immediately after the birth.
Luckily I had made the decision way before Covid was even talked about that I was going to have a home birth.
As it turned out the home birth team suspended about six weeks before my due date - complete panic! We ended up employing an IM (Independent Midwife). She was honestly worth every penny.
Our baby girl was born into my partner's arms on our bedroom floor and it honestly felt like we were the only two people in the room.
I'm 40 so won't be having any more babies, but I joked to my IM that she had made the whole experience so special that I was doubting my decision that this baby would be my last!!
I can't imagine my partner not being with me every step of the way, not just for myself but for him. I hope scan rules etc recognise this ASAP.

[PurplePansy05]

FFS I can't believe some of the responses on here. Shame on you, absolute shame on those of you who are banging on about "radiographer's health" (who is most likely already vaccinated a long time ago, and irsa sonographer if anything ), "I couldn't have anyone so you shouldn't either", "it's against the guidance" etc, etc. I rarely read so much shit on one thread, even on MN.

OP, I had 3 MCs, two of them in lockdown. I had to go through this on my own and I don't wish this on anyone. I'm currently 18 weeks pregnant with my son and still go to consultant appointments alone which is difficult sometimes, but my DH has been allowed to the 12 week scan, he will be allowed to the 20 week scan AND he was allowed to attend scans at the EPU at 6 and 9 weeks via my Recurrent MC Clinic for support. These took place in December and January, at the height of covid cases. This is absolutely in line with the RCOG guidance, you are 100% correct and fight for it. I spoke out at my private clinic too and they changed their guidance in line with RCOG. I absolutely wish you all the best and hope your partner will be allowed to attend any future scans you may have IN LINE with what you and him are entitled to. Ignore the idiots, please, you have far more important things on your plate. Keeping everything crossed for your successful pregnancy 🙏 All the best xx