AIBU to send a 2.5 year old to bed hungry?

[AuntVictoria]

DS is 2.5 and has become increasingly fussy, to the point that he will only eat bread and humous for dinner. He is fairly fussy in general but not as bad for other meals - he eats a wide variety of fruit but little veg, plenty of carbs and dairy, but very little meat / eggs and so little protein. We have recently realised that DS is 99th centile for weight with his BMI, so are currently overhauling all of our diets and portion control as this is obviously a huge concern.

We're now being much stricter about insisting DS at least tries his dinner, but he hasn't eaten more than a tiny mouthful all week. I hate the idea of him going to bewad hungry, so after his bath will let him have some bread and humous. DH wants to instigate a rule that he eats his dinner or nothing. Who is being unreasonable?

This is the rule in our house too when it comes to dinner, if they choose not to eat it then there is no alternative. If they are hungry then they will eat or at least try it! (I'm sure there will be those that disagree with this view though!)

I checked with the hv at DS2 27mth review recently her view on it and she agreed that it was the right thing to do. DS2 will still have his evening drink of milk regardless.

He's only little. We have the rule that you must be at the table.... But if you really don't like it, you don't have to eat. I always try to make sure that something on the plate is in the range of foods that is definitely acceptable. I will do weetabix and warm milk before bed if they really didn't eat as I don't think any child should go to bed with an empty tummy.

He is probably too young to go for a long period of time without food.
The more you battle it the worse it gets.
I use nutrigen vitamixin sprinkles easily hides and tasteless.

DH is unreasonable. He’s 2. Give him something he’ll eat so he’s not hungry. It’s likely a phase. Something I find helpful is offering mine (also 2.5) new foods/foods he won’t eat alongside at least one safe food (in your case hummus and bread). Occasionally they’ll try something and might just expand their menu. But please don’t send him to bed hungry 😔

Is he actually hungry? As in, asking for food? Only reason I ask is because you said about his weight and portions. If a big breakfast and lunch are filling him up, then a bit of a graze at dinner wouldn't bother me (in fact both my dc have big breakfasts and don't eat much dinner so I think this is a fairly normal baby/toddler/child hunger pattern). If he is genuinely hungry and asking for food/upset, then of course I'd feed him. I have two chunky boys and they tend to fill out before shooting up so keep an eye on height/weight as it could all simply balance out.

He’s 2 and a half! He doesn’t understand!

Yabvvu

I'd be perfectly happy with that approach for older kids, but I'm not sure at 2.5 that he's old enough to understand why its happening. I don't think he'll have the foresight to realise that if I don't eat this now, I'll be hungry later.

I would give a small amount of bread and houmous with the dinner for a week or so. See if once he takes the edge of the hunger with a safe food he will find himself eating a little of something else.

I agree with your husband that the concept of a ‘second dinner’ being available needs to go but I would try very hard not to send him to bed hungry or make a fight of it.

Up to you of course but I wouldn't pick food as my battleground.

Keep offering his "safe food" for want of a better phrase, with other stuff along side. He can choose to eat it or not.

Cereal as a sort of mini supper with teeth cleaned after, then story and bed.

I wouldn’t worry about him being hungry but I would worry it might affect his sleep.!!

What centile is his height on???

If his weight and height are similar centiles then he isn't eating "too much" I think they can be 25 different so as long as his height centile is 75th+ there isn't an issue with his weight at all.

He isn't old enough at 2.5 to understand the concept.

My DS was exactly the same re food but it's like a switch has been flipped in the last few weeks and he is now eating pretty much everything I put in front of him. I really wouldn't make it a battle. I agree with offering new food along with safe food. This will pass.

He's virtually a baby still! And it's bread and hummus, which seems perfectly nutritionally acceptable to me. Don't send him to bed hungry! It certainly won't help him expand his tastes and tbh runs the risk of producing an emotional eater.

Is he actually overweight, based on his height? (And even if he were, sending him to bed hungry would not be the way to deal with it).

if they are hungry then they will eat or at least try it

This isn’t true at all in my experience.

Yes, yab MASSIVELY unreasonable, and setting yourself up for food problems galore.

In our house you can always have bread. No problems with any of the kids and eating ever.

Stop creating an argument out of normal behaviour.

Do you eat with him when he eats?

I've found my DC eat better when I'm sat at the table with them, chatting about our day. Usually I sit and have a cup of tea as DH and I tend to eat later after the DC are in bed.

As others have said, I usually offer a full meal but include a 'safe' food. Although that 'safe' food seems to change weekly here so I do sometimes give plain toast before bed if I think DC will be hungry and wake in the night.

I'm hoping it settles back into eating a variety/trying new foods but I can't be sure as DC only 3 now.

He is a very young child- being hungry is painful. I would look up ways to make food more appealing to him, there's plenty of ideas to help with that. Children even as young as your son like putting things on pizza, sandwiches etc. I am sure lots of mums will have ideas but please don't let him go hungry, I know it's frustrating but he wouldn't understand at that age.

dd gets what's left of her dinner in the dark in silence in her bedroom

You need therapy imo. I would report this to social services as cause for concern if I knew who you were.

He's 2

No, I wouldn't send him to bed hungry.

However, is he asking for food or are you just feeding him?

Have you tried trees (Brocolli) with hommous ?

Does he like cold chicken with Mayo to dip in?

Dippy eggs?

Often they'll eat more if there's a variety of dipping type food that 'proper' meal.

If he's eating well at breakfast & lunch I'd have no problem with snacks bits of toast & hommous.

He really is very little & it's unnecessary to be too rigid re food

Let him eat on demand...it's really not a hard decision to be kind to your own child.