AIBU to send a 2.5 year old to bed hungry?

[AuntVictoria]

DS is 2.5 and has become increasingly fussy, to the point that he will only eat bread and humous for dinner. He is fairly fussy in general but not as bad for other meals - he eats a wide variety of fruit but little veg, plenty of carbs and dairy, but very little meat / eggs and so little protein. We have recently realised that DS is 99th centile for weight with his BMI, so are currently overhauling all of our diets and portion control as this is obviously a huge concern.

We're now being much stricter about insisting DS at least tries his dinner, but he hasn't eaten more than a tiny mouthful all week. I hate the idea of him going to bewad hungry, so after his bath will let him have some bread and humous. DH wants to instigate a rule that he eats his dinner or nothing. Who is being unreasonable?

My son is 2.1 yrs and I wouldn't let him go to bed hungry, he is too young. They really eat little. At dinner my son will eat maybe 3 spoons and run, I leave the food for him at the table, usually before bed he runs to get the food. I find if I put the food there for him, he eats when he wants, it's hard to force them to eat.

@luckymagnoliatree

This is the rule in our house too when it comes to dinner, if they choose not to eat it then there is no alternative. If they are hungry then they will eat or at least try it! (I'm sure there will be those that disagree with this view though!)

I checked with the hv at DS2 27mth review recently her view on it and she agreed that it was the right thing to do. DS2 will still have his evening drink of milk regardless.

I'll disagree because if I don't like something I won't eat it. Because there is the likelihood it will make me sick if I dislike it that much

@IsThisNews

I agree with your husband. If DS is hungry, he'll eat dinner. I don't offer alternatives/late snacks to my DC.

Nope, not true.

I'd mix up your day so the main meal is at lunch time when he's more open to trying other foods, it's common for toddlers to be a bit fractious and less hungry by evening. So by that point hummus and bread is ok if they've had a decent breakfast and hot lunch

I don't think being fussy is your issue as he is clearly eating more than he needs to have reached the level of 'very overweight'. If you focus on controlling food you may grow a second level of problems where food becomes a family battle ground. I would be more inclined to get some help with your food routines and how you as a family function around food - your food beliefs and ideas. I do think you are right to get this sorted early as it can spiral into so many other areas such as self esteem, relationships; social interactions.

I would just offer one meal, but always offer something you know they like. So bread and hummus on the side, or hummus one night with veggies, bread with dinner the next. The second dinner is a bad idea IMO but so is sending a 2 year old to bed hungry.

If mine really won't eat anything they get a bit of toast or bread to fill them up - at the same meal. I wouldn't give anything later in the evening. That makes them just hang on to see if there's anything better.

IMHO lunchtime is the best time to get them to try new things, when they're not so tired. For dinner I always provide something safe (carbs usually) as well as less familiar things. DD is fussy so I often give her unfamiliar things in a separate dish so it doesn't touch the 'safe' food.

We have quite a lot of success pretending to be dinosaurs eating broccoli trees, seeing who can crunch pepper the loudest, snapping celery the hardest etc.

Mine also eat veg much more enthusiastically when it's a bit forbidden. We get a veg box and they will snatch peppers, fennel, lettuce, even cabbage and play with it, chew it, munch it while I put things away. You could just put some veg in a box and pretend it's a veg box to see if it does the same thing. Sometimes a proper meal time is a kind of scene for conflict, if you eat somewhere else then the situation is different. Picnics are good for it too, once the weather's good enough!