To expect my 10 year old to make his own breakfast??

[Blueuggboots]

My 10 year old tells me what he wants for breakfast every morning and then expects it to magically appear in front of him.
He is capable of making toast, beans on toast, scrambled egg, cereal including porridge in the microwave but does require support with the grill which I am happy to provide.
When I tell him to make it himself (which I've been doing for well over a year!!) he gets really shirty.
Would you expect your 10 year old to do this for themselves?

My 4 year old would happily make her own breakfast each morning if I would let her get her own milk out of the fridge 😂 so no, YANBU at all!

Definitely yes. But then a lot of children are reported as regressing a little in lockdown. It is a way of seeking reassurance in very distressing times that they have no control over.

Yes I would. And I did. He made a HUGE fuss for a couple of days ("I dont know how much cereal to pour" "I dont want breakfast anyway ") then settled down and got on with it.

So I'd suggest you are nice about it, but firm.

My 7&9 year olds get their own breakfast and lunch normally. We just supervise and help if needed.

Yes, although if I was making porridge or eggs or something for myself I’d offer them some. My eldest suddenly got much less bothered about fancy breakfast items and much keener on cereal and a banana...

YANBU. I was making my own breakfast from about 5-6 years of age - probably younger for things like cereal.

Yeah definitely especially if it was cereal or toast. Probably wouldn't have expected them to cook anything but all they wanted at that age was cereal and/or toast anyway

YANBU, my 6yo DS has been helping himself to a bowl of cereal (with milk) everyday lately.
Including climbing on the cupboards to get to the honey which he insists he must have on it too

Of course if I'm making my breakfast and it was the same, I would offer to make him some.
Often, we don't eat breakfast at the same time due to logistics and I would make him a sausage sandwich at the weekend for example...
He's currently making a tuna sandwich for his lunch after I've drained the tuna to avoid nasty mishaps with the tin....he wasn't happy about that either!!!

YANBU. My role is to make sure that there is breakfast food available, ds's job is put anything specific he wants (there is always bread, porridge, cereal) on the shopping list and to make his food. Currently this also applies to lunch

My 4&5 year olds get their own cereal or croissants (they can use the pre-set 10s button on the microwave)!

I think by the age of 10 kids should be able to manage toast and eggs.

My DC, aged 7 and 9 slowly progressed from me making their breakfast, to me putting out bowls, spoons, cereal and milk and then pouring their own, and over time I took away what I did so now they get it all out themselves, pour it and even have established a little routine for putting things away without me telling them to. However they would need/want support to do toast and it wouldn’t occur to them to make eggs!

I wouldn't insist on it cold turkey but get him to help you for a while until he's doing it mostly on his own.

It's not always incompetence or laziness. Sometimes kids (and adults!) like people to do things for them, even though they're perfectly capable themselves, as a sign of love/care. First thing on a morning after sleeping alone all night (presumably) he might just want to feel taken care of.

What stands out to me is the line about you doing this for over a year - and he is still getting shirty. I'm really surprised that after a year of getting the same response from you he is still asking.

My 8 and 10 year old make their own breakfast. I thought it was normal, they like the independence

My DC are 7 and 4 and get their own breakfast if they're up before us. They're not allowed to cook anything though (I'm not keen on unsupervised toaster use). DS1 empties the dishwasher too (I take no credit- it was completely spontaneous. I think he likes feeling grown up and helpful).

@Blueuggboots

Of course if I'm making my breakfast and it was the same, I would offer to make him some. Often, we don't eat breakfast at the same time due to logistics and I would make him a sausage sandwich at the weekend for example... He's currently making a tuna sandwich for his lunch after I've drained the tuna to avoid nasty mishaps with the tin....he wasn't happy about that either!!!

I've started buying the drained cans with a ring pull, I dislocated my shoulder last summer, so he really had to step up and help. These made life a whole lot easier and we've continued buying them.

My 6 and 7 year old sort breakfast out for themselves and their 2 year old sibling. This involves cereal and toast, obviously I do it sometimes, but they’re happy to do it and I don’t exist to skiv. I think you need to consider your response to his shirtiness.

My daughter is 9, I haven't made her breakfast for years!

Yes mine can make theirs (11 and 9) but sometimes I do it and sometimes they make mine.

When they go back to school I'll probably take over again for speed!

My ten year old definitely does, I've had to have a word with him as he got too adventurous and decided to surprise me with half raw half burnt bacon and sausage at ten to seven one morning.

My nine year old struggles to even get himself a banana and would rather go hungry than attempt to make his own breakfast.

Definitely reasonable, and is only a good thing for him to be more independent too.

I expect my 9 year old to make his own. He only likes fruit or cereal in the morning anyway so it’s not hard. My husband does it for him much too my annoyance as at 9 he should be getting him to do it himself.

Yep keep on with it, he’ll eventually stop asking, although a year is a long time, it must be wearing!

My friends 17 year old DS still does absolutely nothing. She runs around him as though he was 4. Even did all his ironing and packed his case for a holiday last year

My ds who's also 10 mostly gets his own, but like other posters if I'm doing porridge/pancakes etc.. I tend to make them for all of us.
He does struggle if I have actually put everything away because the bowls are on a really high shelf, but luckily I'm fairly lazy so he can normally just get what he needs from the dishwasher!