To expect my 10 year old to make his own breakfast??

[Blueuggboots]

My 10 year old tells me what he wants for breakfast every morning and then expects it to magically appear in front of him.
He is capable of making toast, beans on toast, scrambled egg, cereal including porridge in the microwave but does require support with the grill which I am happy to provide.
When I tell him to make it himself (which I've been doing for well over a year!!) he gets really shirty.
Would you expect your 10 year old to do this for themselves?

My 10yo DD cooks breakfast for me (boiled egg and soldiers - the breakfast of champions).

YANBU and you are doing him (and future partners) a huge favour pushing him to be independent.

Be firm and ride out the protests!

@howaboutchocolate

I wouldn't insist on it cold turkey but get him to help you for a while until he's doing it mostly on his own.

It's not always incompetence or laziness. Sometimes kids (and adults!) like people to do things for them, even though they're perfectly capable themselves, as a sign of love/care. First thing on a morning after sleeping alone all night (presumably) he might just want to feel taken care of.

I wouldn't want my child thinking that people doing stuff for them is how others show love for them and carrying that into their relationships in later life

My 9 and 10 year olds make their own simple breakfasts. They moaned at first, but it was either make it or have nothing.

I mean yes in theory, its reasonable to expect them to make cereal over the age of about 6. Im just amazed at all of your children being awake enough to function in the kitchen before school!!

DD8 is like a zombie, if I tell her to make cereal she just sits there and opts to go hungry instead. Not out of spite, she loves getting her own lunch, more out of sheer exhaustion.

She's always been crap at sleep, had numerous investigations by the paeds team and various bedtime tactics tried. Paed consultant concluded she is just a night owl and that's that.

Poor thing has barely managed to drag herself into consciousness by the time she starts registration and i feel utterly awful for her and at a complete loss for how to help. If I can make her morning that little bit easier by doing some toast for her then its the least I can do.

I buck the trend of everyone on MN insisting their kids make their own meals from the age of about 3.

My youngest is 14. I make his meals. Why not? I work from home, I have plenty of time, I'm making food anyway ... he's pleasant and polite etc etc and when I can't make it , he does

So there's no rights or wrongs. If you don't want to make breakfast for your 10 year old then that's your choice. Like all parenting decisions

Yes, but I have a 13 year old that can but wont also.

Yes I think from the age of 10 they should be able to prepare a simple breakfast and their school packed lunch. Mine went to Brownies & Guides, Cubs & Scouts, which normalise self sufficiency.
I think it depends how socialable you are as a family in the morning, whether you all sit together, or like us all do our own thing quietly in the mornings.

I wouldn't be happy with my 10yrs old DS using the hob/oven (ASN) but he does make his own breakfast - cereal, toast, heating up things in microwave and a cup of tea :) YANBU

My DDs (11 &13) have been making breakfast for themselves at the weekend when they were preschoolers. Started with fruit plus cereal, moved onto pain au chocolate (the Jus-rol kits that just require assembly and cooking) for everyone and now the 11 yo treats herself to a home cooked breakfast at the weekend. Usually egg based but last weekend she made muffins for everyone because she was bored. Tidied up afterwards as well. The 8yo does his own breakfast as well, although he needs help slicing bread. We are generally keen cooks in this house and when the older two declare themselves bored with the breakfast options they are directed towards the shelf of cookbooks. DD2 even cooks lunch for us all regularly.

@AtticusF1nch same. My DS is 7 and I almost always make his meals because I want to, have the time etc. If I needed him to do it, he would do it happily. I don't see the problem myself.

@AtticusF1nch

I buck the trend of everyone on MN insisting their kids make their own meals from the age of about 3.

My youngest is 14. I make his meals. Why not? I work from home, I have plenty of time, I'm making food anyway ... he's pleasant and polite etc etc and when I can't make it , he does

So there's no rights or wrongs. If you don't want to make breakfast for your 10 year old then that's your choice. Like all parenting decisions

Actually I agree with you there. I think as long as your 14 year old is capable of safely heating food should he want to then it's a nice gesture to make it for him if that's what you want to do.

My BIL was unable to use a washing machine until he was 30 because he never left home and MIL did it all for him. It got so bad that when she went on holiday she had to send a friend over on the false pretense that she was feeding the cats while he was at work just to make sure he had clean clothes.

So it's a balance isnt it, as long as they learn how to do things and get some practice now and then its fine.

My 10 year old gets her own breakfast and makes her own packed lunch every morning.

At weekends I offer her eggs if I'm
Cooking them, but she usually refuses.

YANBU. At that age he can also make his drinks and do a chore such as washing up or folding laundry.

Just stick with it. They'll get used to it.

Yes.

My kids have been making cereal since Reception and could make pancakes by 10. I don't think that they are particularly unusual.

I wouldn't want my child thinking that people doing stuff for them is how others show love for them and carrying that into their relationships in later life

So you never offer to make your partner a cup of tea even though they're perfectly capable of doing it themselves?

It's not about always expecting to have things done for you as an act of love/care, but just pointing out that to a child who is suddenly told "I'm not doing that for you any more, do it yourself" can have more of an emotional response to it than you'd expect. Which is why I suggested easing them into the idea.

The resistance to it from the OPs 10yo could just be him reacting to it emotionally, since it seems like he's capable of doing it himself.

@AtticusF1nch i agree with you. i have always done my kids food really i dont see it as a big deal, sacrifice bad role model or whatever.
the eldest has left home quite successfully!
the youngest (10) well i wouldnt let him near a cooker, he isnt interested and it would he a disaster.
but he will get there in his own time i will make sure!

why would you 'expect' a 10yo to make their own breakfast?

My 10 and 7 year old make their own breakfast every morning. Nothing fancy, toast/crumpets in the toaster with butter/jam whatever and bowls of cereal. I make my 4 year old's breakfast, or sometimes they even make hers while I do laundry or clean the bathroom.

Just keep encouraging him, it's important that they start doing these little things for themselves at this age.

[quote HensTeeth44]@AtticusF1nch same. My DS is 7 and I almost always make his meals because I want to, have the time etc. If I needed him to do it, he would do it happily. I don't see the problem myself.[/quote]
Because the kid is being a brat about doing it, that's the problem.

No, my 11yr old doesn’t get his own breakfast or do any household chores because he’s still a child.

I expect I’ll get him to do more when he’s about 14.

No, my 11yr old doesn’t get his own breakfast or do any household chores because he’s still a child.

None at all? Doesn't even tidy his own room?

@KnobblyWand

I don’t tidy my bedroom very often so I can hardly demand my son tidies his room. It’s messy but not uninhabitable, same as mine.

Mine made their own breakfasts from about 6/7, but it was just cereal or yoghurt & fruit or pain au chocolate etc. They had to wake us first if they wanted to use the toaster, kettle, microwave or hob. We didn't necessarily go down and supervise, just keep an ear out, but we didn't want them using the cooker etc unsupervised whilst we were sleeping.

They wouldn't really have made eggs etc til much later - maybe 10/11ish?

Obviously, always if we're cooking a special breakfast (fry up/bacon baps/waffles/pancakes) then whoever is making would make enough for everyone who wants it.

They're now teens and make their own breakfasts, and also lunches during lockdown. They also sometimes cook the evening meal.

Constantly running around after children who are perfectly capable of doing things for themselves isn't treating them with kindness, it's teaching them to treat you like a skivvy! Helping them out, or making an occasional treat, or looking after them if they are having a hard time - yes! But never expecting them to lift a finger and waiting on them hand and foot is terrible parenting!

I still make breakfast for my 14 year old. He can make