To think obtaining a nursing degree as a single mum...

[PurpleReigns]

...with 3 children and no support will be hard, but is manageable?

I applied last year and was offered a place at university, however, my marriage broke down and so I deferred to this year. I’m now starting this September. I have DC, 10, 12 and 15. No family nearby, friends that will help out on occasion, with the youngest at least. exDH not reliable with contact.

I am getting on in age and feel if I don’t do it this year that will be the end and I’ll be stuck in dead end jobs for the rest of my life. I will need to do an access course if I were to try again to start with...

I have had a few looks from people about doing it this year, so want to see what MN thinks.

AIBU to think studying a nursing degree as a single mum is achievable?

Absolutely doable! I trained when my son was 5 and I was a single parent. I used childminders. It was difficult but well worth it as I needed to build a future for both of us.

How will you cover childcare when you are on nights? Not many friends will have 3 kids for a couple of weeks of nights, or if you have a placement which means leaving really early

Sorry to say, but i don’t think it’s manageable. It’s not the actual workload so much as the logistics - most placements expect you to follow your mentor’s rota so if they have 3 night shifts that week, so do you - what are you going to do with the 10yo? Leave them in the care of the 15yo? Placement is long, long hours out of the house. You won’t be able to leave the youngest to fend for themselves all that time. Really sorry OP

You will need to think who can look after them during night and 12 hour shifts. Will you expecting the 15 year old to look after them? If you make a big fuss you can get somebody flexibility with shifts but there are minimums requirements.

Yes, someone suggested a childminder but unsure my DC are older? Do you get financial help to pay for a childminder, and what about night shifts?

What about night shifts? That's my first thought!

Could you employ a nanny-type (housekeeper type person) on an ad-hoc basis?

I think go for it though op! Good luck!

It depends on how much family support you have. I think it may be difficult. You will have to work all sorts of shifts including early starts, late finishes and night shifts.

My eldest will be 16 at the beginning of next year, and assuming nights are 7-7 I think they would be OK?

Get on with it! My friend was a single mum a s managed - in many way getting 3x 12 hours covered was easier than juggling a 5 day office job.
She lives her job, moved up the pay scales and as the kids get older it is much easier. She now works contract/ bank only so chooses how/ when she works .

Live in au pair

You need to look at where placements are. Students at my local uni are placed at a hospital over an hour away. They have to leave home at 5:30 am to get to handover for the day shift, they do a 13 hour shift and get home about 9pm. Then repeat the next day after not enough sleep. Would a childminder start at 5:30am, doubt it.

Think you need to wait until the youngest can be left for those sort of times.

Your nights are covered by having a 16 year old in the house. And as you specialise there is the opportunity not to do nights... really depends on the job you have.

Go for it. You have 20-30 years of working life ahead of you, so a good career is something you need for the future and your sanity.

You may be able to access a childcare grant from your uni? Ask them.
If you start when the oldest is 16 will that be OK for overnights, a big responsibility for the oldest teen.

It is doable, imo. Hard work but doable.

Good luck.

I'm not sure how manageable it is to be honest. I've wanted to do it but even with a partner, I can't. Dh works shifts so no way of being able to rely on him - shifts are only planned a week in advance and if as a student I don't get enough notice of what shifts I've got to do, then he can't get annual leave to cover - he has to give a few months' notice when he wants leave. Very difficult. Basically the only way of doing nursing training is pre or post-children these days.

I work at a uni that offers nursing and my advice is to get the lowdown on placements asap and to also fully cost everything.

A live in au pair seems over the top at the ages they are. I feel like if they were 5, 7 and 10 that would be reasonable but 10, 12 and 15? In fact they all have birthdays early in the year so not long until they would be 11,13 and 16

How often would night shifts be?

How would the youngest get to school if you are in earlies and your oldest goes to college?

It sounds really, really difficult but families make all kinds of things work. I worry it is asking a lot of your eldest, have you spoken to them about it?

My eldest is very responsible, but I do worry about the strain on them all.

I couldn't do a course (not nursing) because of the shifts and placements could potentially be quite far away. I ended up doing something else. Hope you can manage it though, your kids are older than mine was. Good luck. Also I would go ahead and do the access course, might give you other options as well as nursing anyway?

Please don't put childcare on the 16yo. So unfair.

You really will need flexible childcare that includes overnight and weekends.

I was a single mum when I did my nursing. But, I had my grandparents who went above and beyond with childcare and support. It would have been impossible otherwise tbh.

Placements are max 30 mins away. If I do the access course it adds another year on studying. I had my hopes set on starting last year but obviously circumstance dictated a deferral

Just a word of caution, as I think someone else has already alluded to; it's not just the hours for night shifts (usually but not always 19:00-07:30), but the travel to and from. As a student (again, university-dependent), you can be sent pretty far away for placement, much further than many people would chose to commute once qualified.

I've recently mentored a lovely student nurse who had to travel almost 2 hours each way, every day. I know it's for a limited time, but you will be expected to be alert and professional on shift, even if arriving already tired. And sometimes shifts (assuming at least one placement will be on a 24/7 ward) are on concurrent days.

However! There were many single Mums in my cohort when I trained, and the vast majority qualified and are now in a much better position, because they have so much more choice over their working base and hours. It is doable, but needs a lot of serious thought. Which to be fair, is why you're asking here, after all!

Do it, you'll work the logistics out, people do, good luck xx

Ah sorry, cross posted about your maximum placement area. That's great, wish that had been my university's policy too!