Piss off, Pam!

[FuckingFabulous]

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

@BlackBrowedAlbatross

I think your mum is right but for different reasons. Pam is obviously having a whale of a time, but you are getting upset (understandably). Do not allow her to carry on enjoying herself by upsetting you. Block her and have a lovely life with your family.

This

Pam will love getting a rise from you! Don't give her the satisfaction.

I think if you feel compelled to respond say something along the lines of "I don't know why we are the Chosen Ones. Perhaps you could contact DH's doctor, and they will tell you why he is particularly vulnerable."

Then block and ignore.

@Unsure33

Just snooze her for 30 days . I do that quite often . Gives you a breather .

I must admit I would be tempted to say something first though .

“ I am feeling personally insulted by your implication of us jumping the queue , especially as you are fully aware of our situation. It is not true so if you have some kind of bee in your bonnet , take it up with the NHS , not on a public forum . I find you very rude so will be snoozing you for 30 days to give myself a break from your inane moaning “ 👏👏👏

Why would you only 'snooze' someone that heinous? Delete/block/remove!

Honestly what a cow your relative is. My friend who is in her mid 30s recently got her vaccine and posted it on FB - my reaction was yay, so please for you! I don't know whether she got it because of her work, a health condition or whatever but she's my friend and I'm pleased for her 💖

Good grief just block Pam and all her repugnant followers/likers and never talk to them again!

Such an easy decision.

Pam is a cunt, plain and simple. It might make you feel better briefly to tell her so but long term there’s nothing to be gained. Block her and move on.

@Mumtwoboys90

also genuinley interested about ADHD being on the list? i was diagnosed as a child but as far as im aware its a learning disability that doesnt affect your physical health?!

It clearly affects your ability to comprehend a simple fucking post, though.

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

"You're right Pam, it has nothing to do with my caring responsibilities or DH's condition, I was just trying to spare your feelings. The truth is, the medical community at large discussed it, and agreed that as you'd be no great loss to humanity, they wouldn't rush to vaccinate you. Sorry "

I think you are my spirit animal 🤣🤣😭

Do you know if she replied to your DH's brilliant comment - or did you block her before she could

@DontWannaBeObamasElf

If being an idiot is all it took to get a vaccine then Pam would have been the first to get it.

I'd tell Pam to go fuck herself - maybe that would take her mind off being a bigoted old cunt for a few minutes

I also think you have made an enormous leap to get from idiot to a reference to your partners Adhd

This struck me too. Why did you assume her thinking your husband is an idiot is a reference to ADHD, because it just isn't a link I would make.
There are plenty of people I might consider idiots, none of which , as far as I know, have a diagnosis of ADHD. I have also known a fair few people with ADHD, with a range of different symptoms/behaviours, none of which would make me think they were idiots.

FaceBook can be very evil.I have been on the receiving end of this as well, and like you , by a relative.Block her and all those aiding and abetting her.
People are using FB as a convenient vehicle to state things that they would not say to a person's face

It's times like these where you need that perfect come back that puts her in her box get thinking the cattier the better 🐱

So pandemic hits, people are scared for their lives, people die in their thousands. Whole world prays for a vaccine. Thousands more die. People have shielded for months. Vaccine is produced and an actual hugely efficient and successful vaccine program is launched in the UK...but no,we should keep quiet when we receive this amazing vaccine for fear of offending or making people jealous. FFS.

@DietrichandDiMaggio

I also think you have made an enormous leap to get from idiot to a reference to your partners Adhd

This struck me too. Why did you assume her thinking your husband is an idiot is a reference to ADHD, because it just isn't a link I would make.
There are plenty of people I might consider idiots, none of which , as far as I know, have a diagnosis of ADHD. I have also known a fair few people with ADHD, with a range of different symptoms/behaviours, none of which would make me think they were idiots.

Op said they'd had words about it previously so I assume it's an "in context of whom" rather than if you'd called him an idiot for example.

FaceBook can be very evil no, people are good / bad / evil / kind. Not a platform. It might make people feel bigger amd mpre able to be dicks but it's still just them

My daughter is not even in a group and got a jab, I assume it was a mistake but if you get an invite go for it A The more people vaccinated the better B You don't seem to be able to cancel once booked C If you just don't turn up they can't give your slot to anyone else. Block Pam, after you've told her to F off, she and her friends aren't worth wasting time on

No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!!!!

When people treat us this poorly we do not suck it up for fear of 'rocking the familial boat' we tell them what a cunt they are.

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!

If not, guess what happens? The fury you swallow eats you up inside and a year or so down the line you are STILL pissed about it when you see her/hear from her/ hear about her etc, but you can't decide to bring it up then because you'll look like a loon .

She's a twunt.

I'd have already put the bitch back on her arse. You've done well to hold off this long!!

I do find it interesting that adhd is classed as an underlying condition though, does it make a person any more at risk?

It isn't. OP's dh has an underlying medical condition` and also has ADHD. Dear Aunty Pam seems only to know about the ADHD, and is using this knowledge to snipe at him.

It seems that Pam is just an unpleasant person, with a bad case of the green-eyed monster (and not just about vaccines, probably). I experienced similar stuff when I was a chronically ill teenager and other kids at school sometimes accused me of faking illness to get 'special privileges' and get off school, etc. But rarely since I've been an adult. I would be tempted to tell Pam: ''Be careful; if you continue acting like a Mean Girl in the school playground, the vaccinators may think you're under 16 and miss you out!'

@Blockedoff

You've made a couple of typos in that last sentence. "An" doesn't go before words beginning with "c", for one.

I was just about to launch into "back off grammar police"!

I like your style @ArnoJambonsBike

Loved this. I read the post a couple of times to see what the problem was 🤣🤣

@TheWernethWife

I'm from the North West (north of Manchester) - have a couple of friends and family members who have had the vaccine, delighted for them.

We are not all cunts up here.

Oh the contrary, the majority of us aren’t cunts. @PotDaffodil what a massive dickhead you are x

@DietrichandDiMaggio

I also think you have made an enormous leap to get from idiot to a reference to your partners Adhd

This struck me too. Why did you assume her thinking your husband is an idiot is a reference to ADHD, because it just isn't a link I would make.
There are plenty of people I might consider idiots, none of which , as far as I know, have a diagnosis of ADHD. I have also known a fair few people with ADHD, with a range of different symptoms/behaviours, none of which would make me think they were idiots.

It's enough that I know exactly what she meant, but I will explain anyway.

Because I've had to speak to her a few years ago about her horrible voiced opinion to me about ADHD and ASD and how it's nothing but a handy excuse for scraping by and performing poorly or putting in the bare minimum of effort. I told her then how horrid that was and explained again that DH (and DS12) has ADHD and she went on to describe a time when DH became confused over some question she asked him about being a new dad, in front of a lot of visitors, which led to him being flustered and looking a bit overwhelmed and upset ......and she laughed and said that's the condition called stupidity! Made that "derrrr" sound that people used to make to insult people they thought were stupid. I told her that she had no idea and he had a medical diagnosis and she said "so he's a professional idiot then, he's even got the certificate!" DH had to smooth that one over as her making a poor joke when I refused to even be in the same building as her for family gatherings, but she'd referred to DH as the professional or certified idiot to a few family members because they told me, and she'd also called my son "the boy idiot"

But this isn't about that. I just know because of this that's what she meant, and because of this it's not a leap to connect it to her opinion of his ADHD. It's not even a sizeable step. It's right on target.

I can't believe a family member would be like this with you! Ignore your mums advice, she needs to be told.
I hate that 'you say it like it is' attitude. It's just code for being a bitch and trying to get away with it.
Keep us updated with what you say to her op

@ekidmxcl

I imagine support for the vaccine is more needed in countries where the population has low take up. In the UK we have massive take up - the 70-74 category that has been done is looking at about 96-97% take up. The UK population take up is not a problem.

Exactly! Bragging on facebook that you've had something that others desperately want is not doing the country a great service. Take up will be absolutely fine without people showing off on facebook.

@FuckingFabulous she gets more awful with every post.
You’ve done amazingly well to tolerate her for as long as you have, but enough is enough. You’ll never change her vile view. Love your DHs response also

ugh! i'd find it really hard not to say something. Pam's ignorance and high self esteem is incredible. Why shouldn't you challenge someone who been vile and doesn't understand why your DH has been vaccinated earlier? People want to keep the peace around those who talk about others like this...That lets them off the hook. it's a pity you can't vaccinate against ignorance...Pam would be first in the queue