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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Piss off, Pam!

999 replies

FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 12:38

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
NotJackieWeaver · 24/02/2021 18:36

It's a Piss Off, Pam! from me.

loving the Pam Ayers book thing. I may steal that and pretend to have Proust open on my desk etc,etc.

DailyCandy · 24/02/2021 18:37

If only there was a way to invite Pam to mumsnet so we could share our views directly.

kateybeth79 · 24/02/2021 18:37

@Psychobobble

No adhd isn't in the group 6 conditions. It's not the reason he got a vaccine as OP says. It's the reason they referred to her dh as an idiot.
Severe mental health is in group 6
FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 18:38

My DF shared a post about family this afternoon - "after the pandemic we're all going to get together" sort it thing

Pam commented on it "Family huh don't make me laugh, your daughter and her husband have just jumped the queue to the cure while people like us have to wait in danger for the selfish ones to have their turn! 🤬". Loads of family all over it like "what? That's not right!" And "omg Pam are you serious! Selfish people!!" And my DF didn't say a word to her!

I have commented. I wasn't going to, I was totally going to take the high road, but she and her ilk are fucking horrible and deserve to be knocked down a peg or two. Pam and her sisters are keen embroiderers and constantly share pictures of what they're working on (and even though I blocked one earlier I feel sure she'll be shown this) so I shared this picture and commented "Most unfortunately for most of you and especially Pam: My sympathies to all those who have to deal with your symptoms."

Instant angry reacts from Pam, DF and a few others. I've been tagged a few times but I'm not reading it. I want to feel triumphant for a bit. I've clicked off of it now and decided that I won't answer any PMs or anything from any of them. Won't even read them, will just delete. I think I will block them all once I've given them a chance to read what I think of them. Spiteful dicks.

Piss off, Pam!
OP posts:
FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 18:39

@muddyellowdog yes, I really ought to learn not to flaunt how difficult my life situation is, lest people become jealous. I haven't been given the vaccine as a prize, ffs.

OP posts:
acatcalledjohn · 24/02/2021 18:40

@FuckingFabulous

My DF shared a post about family this afternoon - "after the pandemic we're all going to get together" sort it thing

Pam commented on it "Family huh don't make me laugh, your daughter and her husband have just jumped the queue to the cure while people like us have to wait in danger for the selfish ones to have their turn! 🤬". Loads of family all over it like "what? That's not right!" And "omg Pam are you serious! Selfish people!!" And my DF didn't say a word to her!

I have commented. I wasn't going to, I was totally going to take the high road, but she and her ilk are fucking horrible and deserve to be knocked down a peg or two. Pam and her sisters are keen embroiderers and constantly share pictures of what they're working on (and even though I blocked one earlier I feel sure she'll be shown this) so I shared this picture and commented "Most unfortunately for most of you and especially Pam: My sympathies to all those who have to deal with your symptoms."

Instant angry reacts from Pam, DF and a few others. I've been tagged a few times but I'm not reading it. I want to feel triumphant for a bit. I've clicked off of it now and decided that I won't answer any PMs or anything from any of them. Won't even read them, will just delete. I think I will block them all once I've given them a chance to read what I think of them. Spiteful dicks.

Perfection Grin

Summersun2020 · 24/02/2021 18:41

Wow @FuckingFabulous she is like a dog with a bone isn’t she?!

Cosmos123 · 24/02/2021 18:44

Haha well done.
Pam has got what she deserved.

conspicuouslyinconspicuous · 24/02/2021 18:44

@FuckingFabulous Flowers

What a nasty bunch of people.

Strokethefurrywall · 24/02/2021 18:47

BOOM 💥

Nicely done OP! 👏🏻👍🏼

ddl1 · 24/02/2021 18:47

Posting about a vaccination on FB is hardly showing off. Being vaccinated isn't supposed to be an achievement after all. (Though developing the vaccine certainly was!)

People are often encouraged to share that they've been vaccinated to encourage the vaccine-hesitant to get theirs when they're offered it.I suppose it's in some ways a good thing for public health that some people at least are regarding vaccination as a privilege to be jealous about, rather than an evil conspiracy by Bill Gates and the Bilderberg Group. Not that this excuses Pam for being a nasty, mean-spirited, ableist cow.

babbaloushka · 24/02/2021 18:47

Proper horrible bunch. You wouldn't be getting the vaccine if you didn't need one. I'd rip her a new one, but sensible posters will say block.

AlwaysLatte · 24/02/2021 18:50

There's so much ignorance about Covid. The thing is we don't make our own queue, thankfully it's determined for us on a scientific basis, rather than by Pam, so anyone accusing others of queue jumping needs to educate themselves!

NoProblem123 · 24/02/2021 18:50

Do what @GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal said

Pam will be no loss to humanity Grin

langdale2016 · 24/02/2021 18:50

Block Pam and all relatives that sided with her. They will get the message and it will mean that you won't be subjected to their bitterness.

Mockolate · 24/02/2021 18:51

Just seen your update.
Seriously, block the entire lot of them.
You don't need that shit in your headspace.

Notaroadrunner · 24/02/2021 18:53

Can't believe your dad didn't stand up for you. Let the lot of them piss off, not just Pam!

RootyT00t · 24/02/2021 18:53

Block her and anyone who liked or commented on it.

AlwaysLatte · 24/02/2021 18:54

Posting about a vaccination on FB is hardly showing off
Absolutely!

  1. It's such an incredible achievement by the scientists and medical profession to get this out to us so quickly.
  2. If it makes even one social media friend rethink their thoughts about whether to get the vaccine, it was a worthwhile post.
RandomMess · 24/02/2021 18:54

With family like that who needs enemies.

She is one spiteful bitch Angry

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 24/02/2021 18:54

Tag us all in op and we’ll jump her for you Wink

wishywashywoowoo70 · 24/02/2021 18:54

Good for you. What a bunch of tossers

ExhaustedFlamingo · 24/02/2021 18:55

@FuckingFabulous

Fucking well done. When you said she was an "aunt" earlier, I thought to myself that you'd mistyped a letter there.... 😅

I'm also a carer for a child. Also in the south west. Also had a vaccine. You've done nothing wrong in commenting publicly. I despise the Tories but actually the vaccine roll out has been amazing.

Like fuck would I be in the same room as this Pam ever again - or anyone who supports her. I couldn't give less of a shit about upsetting family, she's come after you on multiple posts and is being deliberately vindictive and nasty.

I would message her privately but word it in a way that's not for her benefit but for anyone else who reads it. So that anyone else she shows the message to can see very clearly that you didn't jump the queue with some magical powers, but you have a clear entitlement and need as per the government's own criteria. Then block her so she can't reply. She'll still see your message and you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you got your point across.

I always say come after me and I might let it go, but bring my kids or partner into it and you're history - that's unforgivable.

She sews - can you stitch too? Send her an embroidery hoop with "Cunts don't get the COVID vaccine" on it just to drive the message home 😅😅

RootyT00t · 24/02/2021 18:55

@korawick12345

I don’t know why you felt the need to broadcast that you have had the jab. By putting it on Facebook you are basically announcing that you are in a special category and then getting angry and defensive when people ask what that category is. ‘Pam’ sounds awful but the entire incident occurred because you felt the need to tell everyone that you are in group 6. I also think you have made an enormous leap to get from idiot to a reference to your partners Adhd
Come off it. OP isn't to blame. Pam wasn't really asking anyway she was being an arsehole.
TheresAnEyeInMeSoup · 24/02/2021 19:00

HRTF OP, but did you mean to say Pam is an Aunt? Or was it a typo? 😉

I bet Pam was a loo roll hoarder at the start of the pandemic. I'd be showing her up for the twat that she is and publicly shaming her.

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