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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Piss off, Pam!

999 replies

FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 12:38

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Devlesko · 24/02/2021 17:31

I'd respond "well, some of us happy to support family keeping safe" "Unlike some who find it above and beyond their responsibility Pam".
How is your dd these days after her surgery, who took care of her in the end?

Then block Pam and the others, you don't need them, they aren't your friends.

WingingItSince1973 · 24/02/2021 17:33

Also love to you and your family. Am so glad you have your vaccination. Pam sounds vile and i would have no qualms to cut her out. Xxx

LouJ85 · 24/02/2021 17:35

I can't take seriously anyone who makes a comment like this about a whole region! And incidentally, north west of where?

Quite. Hmm

Firstbellini · 24/02/2021 17:35

OP, you have remained calm in the face of some thoroughly unpleasant family members and maintained sensible boundaries, for which I salute you.

FlowersCakeBrew

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/02/2021 17:37

[quote HOkieCOkie]@FuckingFabulous I know how annoying.[/quote]
@HOkieCOkie - are you going to apologise to
@FuckingFabulous
for completely missing the fact that her husband got his vaccination because he has a lung condition, NOT because of his ADHD.

Her OP says he has an underlying condition, and says later on that the ADHD is not the reason for his getting the vaccine - but she mentioned it because Pam knows about the ADHD, and that is what made her comment so nasty (I paraphrase).

Orchidflower1 · 24/02/2021 17:44

@FuckingFabulous you were totally right to celebrate the vaccine. The number of people getting if is genuinely giving me hope and helping with my MH.

Pam is. twonk and tbh sound the type of twonk that would always have something better/ worse than you no matter what.

Blood doesn’t always make family and being blood doesn’t seem to be a limiter of twonkishness.

I’m sorry your family have the health issues but glad you’ve got the jab. You sound like a hard wiring, loyal and diligent mum. 💐

Orchidflower1 · 24/02/2021 17:44

Hard working 🙈

StoneofDestiny · 24/02/2021 17:44

Nothing wrong with posting you’ve had the vaccination!
Pam and the rest are vicious tongued creeps. The medical profession decide who gets the vacc, nobody else.

I’d tell them nothing that is private about your families situation - nosy sods.

I’d post “Pam, there are rumours of a new vaccination that can change obnoxious people into decent human beings - I’m sure you’ll be one of the first to be recommended for it”.

Mockolate · 24/02/2021 17:44

I don't get some of the responses here.
Surely it's a good thing if people are getting the vaccination - the more the better right, and surely you'd be happy if your family are vaccinated?
Pam sounds absolutely vile and very bitter.

ArcheryAnnie · 24/02/2021 17:44

@Rillington

Why did you need to broadcast that you had, had the vaccine?
It's a good idea to post that you had the vaccine, as lots of people are still nervous about it. Having people expressing delight about having the jab helps takeup, which is good for everyone.
Orchidflower1 · 24/02/2021 17:44

Ooh and @FuckingFabulous your name is very apt!

MajorMujer · 24/02/2021 17:44

Just reply to her directly " Hi Pam, fuck the fuck off to the far side of fuck, then fuck off a bit more. "
Covers most eventualities

itsgettingwierd · 24/02/2021 17:45

All the Pams on this thread.

Would you in all honesty swap your position in the groups for a qualifying condition or a life caring for a disabled dependent?

Because if anyone would I have a disabled 16yo that also comes with a blue badge for added kudos.

I've already had my vaccine through work so you could claim his carers one when he gets his through priority 6. Wink

ShagMeRiggins · 24/02/2021 17:46

@Usagi12

I don't understand the people on here telling her she shouldn't tell people she's had it, crazy! What don't tell people just in case they're twats and give you grief. Good way to sort out those who should be in your life and those that shouldn't IMO. Several family members have had theirs done, I'm glad and relieved for them because I love them. Imagine being upset that a member of your FAMILY has been given protection against this awful illness 🤷🤷🤷
Absolutely. I don’t understand those who say that telling friends and family on Facebook is “showing off.”

It’s not a new Mercedes. It’s not the latest Gucci bag. It’s not showing off. It’s sharing news with people who presumably care for you, what with being friends and family. Hmm

What. The. Fuck.

Friends and family. Aren’t these the very people who should be happy for you? Aren’t these the people who should be relieved to hear the good news?

Unbelievable.

If Pam didn’t like this news and feels entitled to have one before OP and her husband, Pam can take it up with the NHS vaccination programme.

Jesus this is all so nasty. Hearing that someone in my family or one of my friends has received the vaccine means I am one step closer to seeing people I love, and that we will be safer for it.

And you know what else? If I read about someone young getting it or someone who had just been hanging around and got lucky with the extra doses, so what? It is one more person with added protection, which helps everyone. The doses should be used rather than wasted ffs.

Unfuckingbelievable.

Mockolate · 24/02/2021 17:46

Also, even though I'm down the list, I'm happy to see people post that they've had the vaccine.
As someone upthread said, it seems a way out and back to normality

Mockolate · 24/02/2021 17:47

Oh and the pandering to dickheads by never posting anything in case they get upset?
Er, fuck that for a game of soldiers lol

Unsure33 · 24/02/2021 17:47

Just snooze her for 30 days . I do that quite often . Gives you a breather .

I must admit I would be tempted to say something first though .

“ I am feeling personally insulted by your implication of us jumping the queue , especially as you are fully aware of our situation. It is not true so if you have some kind of bee in your bonnet , take it up with the NHS , not on a public forum . I find you very rude so will be snoozing you for 30 days to give myself a break from your inane moaning “ 👏👏👏

TheWernethWife · 24/02/2021 17:48

I'm from the North West (north of Manchester) - have a couple of friends and family members who have had the vaccine, delighted for them.

We are not all cunts up here.

ArnoJambonsBike · 24/02/2021 17:48

@FuckingFabulous

To the people who are wondering why I would post about vaccination, I genuinely do think it's cause for celebration and that if we're on group six and storming through it, all the other groups are not too far behind at all. I see it as a hopeful message that we are on our way out of this! I've seen literally dozens of people posting about their vaccine or changing their profile picture to have a frame by NHS England saying they'll be getting it or that they've had it. I was very taken aback to be met with such spite over it!

Pam is an aunt, by the way.

You've made a couple of typos in that last sentence. "An" doesn't go before words beginning with "c", for one.
Unsure33 · 24/02/2021 17:50

It’s amazing as well how many people are unaware of the new Oxford research and algorithms that have been used for shielding and priorities. Even though it’s been well publicised.

I have a friend younger than me getting his vaccine but I know he has medical problems . Do I care ? No !

LouJ85 · 24/02/2021 17:56

@TheWernethWife

I'm from the North West (north of Manchester) - have a couple of friends and family members who have had the vaccine, delighted for them.

We are not all cunts up here.

Incidentally I'm from the north west too, and I too am not a cunt. Who knew?! Grin

Pinkfreesias · 24/02/2021 17:56

There's a saying about people who take disabled parking spaces when they don't need them, along the lines of - Want my parking space? Take my disability?
Maybe you could have adjusted that accordingly, posted it, telling them how petty and jealous they have made themselves look and how they should thank their lucky stars for being healthy.

Blockedoff · 24/02/2021 17:57

You've made a couple of typos in that last sentence. "An" doesn't go before words beginning with "c", for one.

I was just about to launch into "back off grammar police"!

I like your style @ArnoJambonsBike GrinGrinGrin

crazybunchofdolls · 24/02/2021 17:58

I don't see that you've done anything wrong OP.

Pam sound hideous!!

Send her a message telling her how unpleasant she is- why not?! She sounds like the worst.

holibay · 24/02/2021 17:59

Pam is a dick, how vile to post like she has. Get her out of your life!
And good for you both for getting jabs.

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