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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Piss off, Pam!

999 replies

FuckingFabulous · 24/02/2021 12:38

A relative- 'Pam'- has pissed me right off this morning on Facebook (yes, I know, the root of all evil.)

And actually, it's not even just Pam, there are a few of them but she's the worst one!

Basically me and DH are group 6 for the vaccine. Me due to caring responsibilities for our DD and DH due to an underlying health condition. DH got the jab this morning and I reposted an article about how well the U.K. is doing with their vaccination programme and mentioned DH was currently having his vaccine and I'm having mine in a few days.

Straight away, Pam comments "so many young people having their jabs- what magic key have you all got to jump the queue? I'm Over 50 and I work with the public but I can't just waltz in like some! Oh well"

I just replied that I couldn't speak for anyone else but DH and I are in group 6, me for caring and him for health reasons and were invited to book, so there has been no queue jumping, and I realise it's frustrating to wait to be called when there are so many hopes riding on it. She then commented "So because you're a parent with normal parenting responsibilities, you are saying you have got rights ahead of me, a person over 50? Don't make me laugh."
I didn't reply because I was fuming as she knows full well that I have a round the clock caring role for my daughter (and she's a woman who wouldn't even have her own 20yo DD home to recover from surgery as it was "above and beyond" her responsibility ) so I was reeling from the audacity of her! I went to make a coffee and consider my response to her. I was all for politely telling her that she's being judgemental and although she's disappointed, it's not kind to be so dismissive when she's well aware of the difficulties I face at home, but then when I looked again, I saw it had all kicked off a bit!

Pam has posted another comment saying "And what's Mr FuckingFabulous's magic key condition?" Another older female relative chimes in then with a heart reaction and a comment of "I'd also love to know this, Pam! Beggars belief!!" Pam shoots back with "last time I checked, being an idiot wasn't on the list of conditions!" Cue about five laugh reactions from older relatives and comments like "this is why I love you, you say it like it is, Pam!"

DH has ADHD. Not sure if all older relatives know this but Pam, the one who called him an idiot, does indeed know!! I've had to speak to her and her husband before when they both expressed an opinion that ADHD and ASD don't exist and they're excuses for poor performance. And it is not even the condition which entitles him to a jab. Several people have also commented to her and some of the others that their comments are disgusting and Pam has been popping on a copy paste reply of "I am entitled to my opinion - it's a free country still."

So Pam has dismissed my caring responsibilities and taken the piss out of my DH for his ADHD. I have deleted the thread and spoken to my mum about it and she said it's best just to leave it, we don't want bad feelings in the family. Um, what about MY feelings? Or DH's??

WIBU to message Pam and tell her how bloody vile she is?? I should do it to all of them really, but I doubt it would have any impact.

OP posts:
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10
NuniaBeeswax · 24/02/2021 12:55

Envy is a sin, Pam.

TheFuckingDogs · 24/02/2021 12:56

Fucking Pam! I stand with you OP!!

ItsJackieWeaverBitch · 24/02/2021 12:56

Pam is a cunt, no 2 ways about it. Block her and anyone who was on your comments agreeing with her or liking what she was saying. You don’t need to put up with that and like you, I would be very upset and angry about it. If she ever gets round to asking you why she’s been blocked I’d tell her straight it’s because she’s a fucking cunt.

Ivy455 · 24/02/2021 12:56

Urgh I'm fuming on your behalf. Can't stand people who congratulate themselves and others on "telling it like it is" when actually they're just being antagonistic and rude. I agree with pp who said block her and anyone who liked her comments.

bigvig · 24/02/2021 12:57

As others have said just block her and anyone who joined in with her. That will annoy her much more then being insulted would.

gamerchick · 24/02/2021 12:57

Just block them, all of them who chimed in and then don't bother with them again.

If they say that to you directly, what so they say behind your back? Save your retort until you see them in person.

Ivy455 · 24/02/2021 12:57

@ItsJackieWeaverBitch

Pam is a cunt, no 2 ways about it. Block her and anyone who was on your comments agreeing with her or liking what she was saying. You don’t need to put up with that and like you, I would be very upset and angry about it. If she ever gets round to asking you why she’s been blocked I’d tell her straight it’s because she’s a fucking cunt.
YES please use those exact words. "Because you're a cunt, Pam".
Psychobobble · 24/02/2021 12:58

No adhd isn't in the group 6 conditions. It's not the reason he got a vaccine as OP says. It's the reason they referred to her dh as an idiot.

132orbust · 24/02/2021 12:58

Gosh I didn't know ADHD was one of the conditions that puts you in Group 6. is that a recent change OP?
Btw every family had a Pam - sadly!

TitusPullo · 24/02/2021 12:59

I don’t think I would’ve been able to hold back at that point and would have had to say something publicly. I am not one for airing dirty laundry but Pam went above and beyond.

Also @LesLavandes why does it matter OP used Pam? She could have used Catherine or Jane or Anne? It’s just a woman’s name Confused

Youllbeoldertoo · 24/02/2021 13:00

Who is this Pam? What sort of family speak about each other like this!? That sounds like absolute madness! So so rude.

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 24/02/2021 13:00

"You're right Pam, it has nothing to do with my caring responsibilities or DH's condition, I was just trying to spare your feelings. The truth is, the medical community at large discussed it, and agreed that as you'd be no great loss to humanity, they wouldn't rush to vaccinate you. Sorry Sad"

LagneyandCasey · 24/02/2021 13:00

I've seen this a lot. There is a good system in place and everyone has to patiently wait their turn. However, a lot of people are either scared or misinformed and are wrongly accusing people younger than them of queue jumping. For that reason I'll not be announcing when I've had mine (also group 6).

Block her on everything and put her out of your mind.

BashfulClam · 24/02/2021 13:00

I would block them, they are nasty bullies! Why should you let them have access to you when they are cunts. Block them and if they ask why say that calling your husband an idiot was spiteful and also not understanding your daughters issues is ignorant and you want an apology!

Nicolastuffedone · 24/02/2021 13:00

@LaurieFairyCake

Thanks

Is ADHD on the list of underlying health conditions ? I've googled the list and can't see it Confused

I have 3 people to tell who would be delighted Grin

Ah, you missed the part where she said that wasn’t the underlying health condition that allowed him to have the vaccination. Don’t rush in telling those 3 people, they’ll only be disappointed
BashfulClam · 24/02/2021 13:00

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

"You're right Pam, it has nothing to do with my caring responsibilities or DH's condition, I was just trying to spare your feelings. The truth is, the medical community at large discussed it, and agreed that as you'd be no great loss to humanity, they wouldn't rush to vaccinate you. Sorry Sad"
Oh I triple dare you!
SharedLife · 24/02/2021 13:01

I've blocked my Pam. She's the definition of the Dunning Kruger effect so there is absolutely no reasoning with her.
And the whole, "its my opinion, everyone's entitled to one", thing drives me mad. What a totally worthless response! Angry

MrsToadlike · 24/02/2021 13:01

My twenty-something sibling got a jab recently because of their frontline job in the NHS and the number of passive aggressive or just downright aggressive comments received has been unbelievable and believable at the same time.

Sorry you've had to deal with this yourself OP. I would definitely be blocking or muting this person (not sure how Facebook works as I'm not on it Confused). I have had to mute a few Whatsapp threads recently and it has been wonderfully liberating.

As a PP says, this pandemic has shown people in our lives for who they truly are and you'll know who you want to keep around you and who you really don't.

Enjoy your Pam-free life Smile

Hadjab · 24/02/2021 13:01

@Rillington

Why did you need to broadcast that you had, had the vaccine?
I was thinking this - absolutely not having a go at you OP, but surely you get your jab then go on with your life - it’s akin to taking antibiotics, a laxative or thrush treatment, you wouldn’t necessarily tell everyone via social media, would you?
Notaroadrunner · 24/02/2021 13:02

No point texting her as it will only add fuel to her vile carry on and no doubt she would post your message all over social media and make it all about her and how she's being bullied by you, because she's an out an out cunt and that's what people like her do. Hopefully you don't have to encounter her in person again but if you do I'd whisper 'you're a cunt' everytime you are near her and if she questions you play dumb. Let on you didn't say a thing. Make out she's going fucking mad. Block her on social media and if she has your phone number, block her on your phone too. And yes, block the shower of shites who openly agreed with her.

Member984815 · 24/02/2021 13:02

I would block everyone of them for your sanity

SleepingStandingUp · 24/02/2021 13:02

@LaurieFairyCake

Thanks

Is ADHD on the list of underlying health conditions ? I've googled the list and can't see it Confused

I have 3 people to tell who would be delighted Grin

No, he happens to have ADHD which is what op thinks Pam referred to when she called him an idiot. He has another medical need. But also he would qualify for and as a carer as he has a vulnerable child.

As for why would you TELL people, the more people get vaccinated, the less Taboo it is, the less people worry it'll harm you, the more people get vaccinated
People shouldn't have to lie because other people are thick, ignorant and rude

ILoveYou3000 · 24/02/2021 13:03

Is ADHD on the list of underlying health conditions ? I've googled the list and can't see it

OP said her husband had another condition, not that ADHD was his reason for having the vaccine.

The mention of ADHD was in reference to the idiot comments Pam was making.

DontWannaBeObamasElf · 24/02/2021 13:03

If being an idiot is all it took to get a vaccine then Pam would have been the first to get it.

Usagi12 · 24/02/2021 13:03

@greeboismyspiritanimal
"You're right Pam, it has nothing to do with my caring responsibilities or DH's condition, I was just trying to spare your feelings. The truth is, the medical community at large discussed it, and agreed that as you'd be no great loss to humanity, they wouldn't rush to vaccinate you. Sorry sad"

Love this!

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