To be a SAHM

[minniepink]

I’m having no luck with interviews and seriously considering just accepting and embracing life as a SAHM. But is it really as unwise as Mn make it out to be?

I am shuddering at your comment OP, of him saying he would be happy with you being a SAHM. Of course he would, totally takes the pressure off him. Being a SAHM is the most rewarding, but it is relentless and I would say far harder than going out to work. Would he recognise this, or just think you are at home drinking coffee, meeting friends, all day, every day? You are being far too blind to many issues, there is absolutely nothing cynical in protecting yourself. Understand you, and your future matters. And what about, the other side, when children have grown up and flown the nest. Trust me, you will need something for you then. You and your partner need some serious discussions before you go jumping in and agreeing to anything.

@feelingfree17

I am shuddering at your comment OP, of him saying he would be happy with you being a SAHM. Of course he would, totally takes the pressure off him. Being a SAHM is the most rewarding, but it is relentless and I would say far harder than going out to work. Would he recognise this, or just think you are at home drinking coffee, meeting friends, all day, every day? You are being far too blind to many issues, there is absolutely nothing cynical in protecting yourself. Understand you, and your future matters. And what about, the other side, when children have grown up and flown the nest. Trust me, you will need something for you then. You and your partner need some serious discussions before you go jumping in and agreeing to anything.

Isn't it good to take pressure from your spouse whether male or female? That doesn't mean they don't do their fair share. Plenty of men manage to manage domestics and parenting when they aren't working. If you have a man like this, then being a sahm won't be your problem.

Came across this while searching for SAHM threads.

I am also a teacher and considering stopping working for a bit after baby (my fourth -shock pregnancy- I'll have 3 under 5 and a teenager come November )

It sounds like you're in a really good situation (own house out right etc) Why not take a few years at home with your boy if DP is supportive?. You can always do a bit of supply work if things get tighter financially.

I came to the conclusion today that I could continue to work part time but it will be a struggle or I could take a couple of years out of work and invest in my family. Teaching can put massive pressure on family life.

@HeidiHaughton

Why is the cost of child care entirely down to the impact on your salary? Is it not both of you paying for it so you can both work?

Because if her salary doesn't cover childcare costs then they will be worse off regardless of who pays for what.

Hi op whatever makes you happy. I was in a shitty office role temping I left it. No point being miserable! Feel rest of my cv is good so Im not too worried. Yeh part T is ideal

If you can afford it do it. I would love to be one and I'm so fucking jealous of those who can!!

If I could be a sahm I would on a heartbeat, if can afford to and it feels right then go for it

@DianaT1969

What's your situation? Renting, DC in school? Do you already have savings and a pension? Imagine yourself at 45 with no career experience on your CV, no pension apart from the state one and renting. How do you feel? It's possible to start from scratch at that age and carve out security for yourself. But I wouldn't advise it.

I'm in this exact position (except I'm a couple of years older). I loved being a SAHM and it worked brilliantly for us. However. I'm now late 40s and haven't worked for 25 years. I have no referees, no recent experience, and was diagnosed with a chronic health condition ten years ago which means finding work is even harder. I'm virtually unemployable. DH isn't earning anywhere near as much as we hoped he would be by now, we have no pension between us and we live in a council flat (we hoped to have been able to buy somewhere but 2008 happened). I am completely screwed and am being treated for depression, which is down in no small part to my situation. I loved being there for DD but it's a high price to pay. I'd advise anyone contemplating becoming a SAHP to make sure it's a price you can afford to pay, or are willing to.