She said we aren't actually "friends" aibu here?

[beeinmybonnett]

Around 18 months ago I became "friends" with someone through work.
She left after a month but we stayed in contact.
Texting every day and met up once or twice monthly.
We went for food,drinks,a weekend away and she even stayed at my house on occasion.

I found out from a mutual friend she had been saying some pretty nasty things about me.
I told her what I heard expecting her to say it wasn't true or laugh it off.
Instead she got defensive "why are you accusing me of that"
I told her I wasn't and it was just what I heard
Then she said "look I've met you probably 15 times,we are not friends,there really is no reason for you to even message me about this non event"
"Please don't contact me again"
I replied saying "sorry I'm confused as to what's happened here,have I done something to upset you?"
She replied "you have asked me and I've told you ,we aren't friends,please fill your time with something worthwhile,I won't reply to you anymore after this exchange "

I'm confused
She had previously told me she had fell out with numerous friends over the years after they treated her poorly,but I haven't done a thing wrong.
I'm really upset ,I thought we were friends.
What did I do ?

You did nothing OP- she is a CF.

You did nothing. It's her problem not yours.

it sounds like this is her way of dealing with being caught out - I would have thought you were friends by the sound of it..you are much better off without her xx

Don’t waste any more head space on her and move on. She doesn’t sound a nice person. I can understand it would be disappointing for you.

She sounds quite mad! Best off out of it OP.

You’ve done nothing. She sounds nasty. Block her and try to put it from your mind. You must be hurt

She sounds a bit odd, you are well away from her I think!

Just block her what a head melter. Don't apologize.

She had previously told me she had fell out with numerous friends over the years after they treated her poorly,but I haven't done a thing wrong.

And there you have the reason for her falling out with everyone!

Block her - bloody nutjob.

Find some new friends....she sounds batshit

Goodness you’re much better off without her.

You only knew her for a month and that was 18 months ago, it sounds to me like you thought you had a friendship but she thought you were being too clingy and decided to nip it in the bud.

@poptartqueen no ,she worked with me for a month.
Then the last 18 months we have been meeting up,going away together etc etc
It's been 18 months we have been "friends "

It must be difficult because you did see her as a friend. So for her to suddenly claim none of it was real is not nice.

It's unlikely you will get a proper reason or closure on the friendship. I think her true colours have appeared and it's best to ignore her.

When she told you she had fallen out with NUMEROUS friends in the past, you should have recognised the huge red flag. Numerous friends treated her so badly she had to drop them! Really?

Surprises me when people think they are somehow immune from friend's shitty behaviour. "I knew she was a backstabbing bitch to everyone else, but I never thought she'd do it to me!" or "I knew she borrowed money off people and never paid it back, but I never thought she'd do it to me!"

I realise this one is a little less obvious, but she has a history off cutting off friends. And now she's done it to you rather than face up to the fact she's been bad mouthing you. She got caught and lashed out to deflect blame. And it worked! Instead of being angry at her, you're all caught up in whether this was a friendship or not.

Sharkcages are for friendships too!

If she has fallen out with numerous people then its safe to say that the problem is probably her rather than all those others! I think she sounds like she is a two-faced cow, bitching about you behind your back, and is highly averse to having her poor behaviour pointed out to her. You are well rid but I do hope this hasn't shaken your faith in your friends too much.

The fact she’s fallen out with numerous friends speaks volumes. It’s her, not you. Dodged a bullet, move on.

She had previously told me she had fell out with numerous friends over the years after they treated her poorly, but I haven't done a thing wrong.

And what's the common denominator there?

She is.

Some are good at hooking people in but are too much of an arse to maintain a normal friendship.

@YoniAndGuy

She had previously told me she had fell out with numerous friends over the years after they treated her poorly,but I haven't done a thing wrong.

And there you have the reason for her falling out with everyone!

Block her - bloody nutjob.

This!

She sounds awful, just be glad you found out now OP, you’ve done nothing wrong - she clearly goes through life picking people up, slagging them off, getting found out and refusing to acknowledge any blame

OP she sounds like she has issues. That sounds like it was a friendship to me, and her behaviour now must be bewildering. It's very hurtful behaviour but it's not your fault. I've experienced similar and it's my opinion that some people just don't know how to be friends. Try not to let it get to you too much - life has taught me it's always better to walk away from people who bitch behind other's people's backs.

Jesus it sounds like you dodged a bullet here. Really odd behaviour! No wonder she has fallen out with various people in the past. Not you at fault here!

Bullet dodged here

Sounds like she does not want to be called out in her bad behaviour. Block and move on.

She had previously told me she had fell out with numerous friends over the years after they treated her poorly,but I haven't done a thing wrong.

I had a weird and confusing friendship break up with a woman who had dramatically stopped being friends with 7 women before me that I knew about. I had never had anything of the sort happen to me before or since. Really helped me to know I wasn't the issue but she was!