To take my children with me

[Catsandkittens638297]

I recently moved city and have had to change hospitals to give birth in. They've had to get me in for a quick appointment on Monday but DH works away and iv no family or friends that can watch my children. I told the women on the phone she said I couldn't bring them and she couldn't change the appointment because of how far I am. If I take my kids with me will they refuse to see me?

@RedskyBynight ar I understand you now, they've started seeing kids and trying to catch up with appointments where i am north england

I took my two children with me to my scans etc, but most of mine were private.( £100 each x 3). I wanted all my scans to be a family thing and would not have put up with being told I couldnt bring my own children, my family. But I look after them myself and dont ask anyone to look after them. If anything had been wrong at the scan I would not have minded if there had been other children there. Life is full of children.....I would love it having a child would be more of a relaxed family affair than the crazy merrygo round of community midwives and health visitors and scans and being bullied by hospital staff. Sorry not for me. So I did without all that. Had the most relaxed baby ever and she is a little bundle of sunrays.

U all who saying hire a babysitter not everyone can afford it, iv been to gp and dentist ( i know hospital is different) with my toddler case i had noone to look after her and told them when i booked the app and they both said if i cant find a way to come without her then bring her.

@missymoomoomoomoomoo

Can you still book sitters in a lockdown?

Yes you can. Paid, in home childcare is permitted.

Sometimes there are exceptional situations when no one can look after your children and in those situations you should be allowed to take your children with you to the appointments.

You really have got to make contingency plans now for every eventuality. You just don't know what will happen, when you will go into labour or how the labour will go. If you take the plunge now and hire someone to look after your children whenever you need to go for routine appointments then the children will know her and it won't be such a big deal for them to stay with her if an emergency occurs and your mum and DH are not around. The last thing you want is to be worrying about your other children at the same time as the next one is arriving.

Perhaps you could ask whether a community midwife would be able to visit on this occasion? Either that or could they provide a form and you go to the GP if it would be any easier/closer for you

You really have got to make contingency plans now for every eventuality. You just don't know what will happen, when you will go into labour or how the labour will go

Absolutely agree with this. You don't need that extra stress on the day of the labour.

If its for routine bloods can't you leave a message for your midwife explaining the situation and she can pop to yours and take them?

Seems like 8 pages of thread and a lot of drama of drama a really insignificant issue to me.

No idea why mumsnet keeps duplicating my words ! Been doing it all day!

I would ask your mum to babysit.
Childcare is allowed.

Maternity/antenatal appointments should be arranged to accommodate the reality of women’s lives.

Can you ask around for reliable baby sitter? Knock on your neighbours door and explain your situation and ask if the y know of anyone who could have child for a couple of hours for a payment. They might offer to have child themselves. I would offer if someone asked me, even if I did not know them.

@truthisalie

OP, I do hope you can take your DC with you. I am disgusted that you aren't allowed to do it yet you are expected to mix up with a baby sitter.

It's not necessarily about covid. My first hospital had a no children in appointments ever policy, this was three years ago. I presume there were good reasons. Like dogs, no one ever thinks that their child will be the problem.

And I don't think it's unfair to suggest that the OP's DH is being lazy or whatever in not taking half a day off work every time his wife has an appointment. I was having appointments every week for two months in my first pregnancy. My DH would have been in serious trouble if we'd had another child he had to take time off work for all the time.

However, the OP does need to accept that she can't bring her child with her. Hopefully they will be able to change the appt.

Can’t you hire someone? Aren’t you just going to have the same problem at rescheduled appointments as it’s clearly that hospital’s policy?

I'm self-employed. If I need to change my schedule, I do. that's one of the benefits of being your own boss. Why can't he do the same, especially for such an important reason? Is all the child care going to be down to you, as his job is 'so important'? Why did you move when you're pregnant? Why can't he get work in Yorkshire, if you need to live there? sorry, but this makes no sense to me.

Hi Op
I would phone the clinic and explain that you can’t get childcare, then ask ( v nicely) if the community midwife could pop out and do it at home. If not ask for an appointment for when your dh is next home.

Can you ask around for reliable baby sitter? Knock on your neighbours door and explain your situation and ask if the y know of anyone who could have child for a couple of hours for a payment. They might offer to have child themselves. I would offer if someone asked me, even if I did not know them.

Do people really leave their kids with random strangers? I wouldn't lend a stranger my car much less trust them with my child.

I don’t understand why you have moved to somewhere you don’t know anyone when it’s so far away from where your husband works 🤨

People make excuses but honestly it's shit. There's no real reason a toddler can't be there. Lots of pregnant women have young children. If you dont have family who are willing to help you are up shit creek. Nobody in the real world asks some internet random to look after their kids. I've taken my baby to a smear test before. They had to crawl on the surgery floor while I anxiously watched while being prodded. It was awful but it was over in max 1 minute to avoid leaving them with an absolute stranger at 9 months.

Call Private Midwives: privatemidwives.com/?gclid=Cj0KCQiApsiBBhCKARIsAN8o_4gSuJyS8X25QzOlRFti3o3DlD0zYJFXEf-MxYW0dfB1uvrxNOwmmSwaAsXBEALw_wcB

They might be able to arrange for a midwife to come to your home and take the bloods, then deliver them to the hospital, or get them processed privately depending on your preference - for a fee of course, but probably cheaper than a sitter.

Alternatively, ask for a community midwife from your chosen NHS Trust to come and take the bloods form you at home. Job done.

Mainly due to COVID it’s one person and no kids for any app

How old are they

Iwould ask on local fb page for either nannies /babysitters for that area

How long have you been in area.

Again due to lockdown you have prob not met neighbours but I would have a newly moved neighbours child if mum needed doctor app

@Shell4429

I don’t understand why you have moved to somewhere you don’t know anyone when it’s so far away from where your husband works 🤨

I wondered this as well

People usually move far away for job or be near family

Since both her DM and DMIL seem to be local, I'd say that answers they 'why move' question.

But I don't see why OP is being expected to answer weird questions like that.

If it was a Big appointment, then I expect DH could work around it. But for a blood test? Would people here do an eight hour return journey, lose a day's pay and the cost of train fares (and possibly be seen as professionally unreliable if self employed if they have to delay postpone someone's work) because their partner had a blood test?

I can imagine the OP if a MNer's DH demanded they do that.

No children allowed means just that. I don't know if you'll be seen or not. I doubt it. You'll have to either get your DH, a relative, friend or neighbour. It's difficult for a lot of people at present.