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AIBU?

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Original poster

DD using tarot cards

316 replies

silverjackal · 18/02/2021 14:08

I've made it very clear to my DD that I don't approve of her getting involved in tarot readings, divination, etc. and I certainly don't want her bringing home tarot decks. She went ahead and bought three (!!) decks without my permission, using the money I gave her for emergencies.

This happened a couple of months ago, but she only told me she bought them last week. According to her they "help her" and she's using them to inform her A Level options of all things! (I genuinely don't know if she's joking.)

I told her she has to get rid of them and she reacted very angrily, but I honestly don't know what else she expects? She bought them without my permission, using her emergency money, and seems to have an unhealthy dependency on them.

If anyone has advice I'd appreciate it.

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 18/02/2021 18:22

What’s so bad about Tarot cards?

Recipe123 · 18/02/2021 18:37

God she could be doing drugs, having unprotected sex or drinking in a field etc and you’re annoyed at her for having some tarot cards! You must be joking

GlamGiraffe · 18/02/2021 18:38

You should think about treating your daughter like a young adult, capable of making some kind of reasonable decisions and giving her an allowance, however you decide to reach that, so she can manage herself. You are just demonstring extreme control and giving your child no ability to have resbonsibility for herself in small areas of her life, (decision making and choosing what she wants to do, managing her own funds on a basic level). You aren't giving a good foundation for life as an independent woman. Teach her to control herself not be controlled by other people. Its not about religion, or tarot cards, its about the relationship you have and how this changes going forward and how you accept her growth as a young woman.

Sweet666 · 18/02/2021 18:40

Why are you angry about your daughter having hobbies and interests?

Sceptre86 · 18/02/2021 18:40

You don't want her to use tarot readings to influence major life decisions yet you follow a religion which presumably influences the way you behave and choices you make. Can you not see the hypocrisy? At 16 I don't think she needs your permission to buy them but I would be speaking to her about her a level choices and suggesting she speaks to a career advisor or looks at uni or apprenticeship courses she is interested in and which subjects are required. I think that would probably be a better use of her time.

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 18/02/2021 18:42

I do think this is about the wider relationship, not just the tarot cards OP.

BashfulClam · 18/02/2021 18:47

Wow lighten up. I collect tarot decks, my dad used to call it witchcraft but it’s harmless fun.

rawalpindithelabrador · 18/02/2021 18:49

This thread has inspired me to break out my cards again! Any good links?

iklboo · 18/02/2021 18:49

People use the bible, religion & prayer to make decisions as well.

speakout · 18/02/2021 18:52

People use the bible, religion & prayer to make decisions as well.

Exactly!!

BashfulClam · 18/02/2021 18:53

The hanged mania stagnation and stuck , death is new beginnings after an ending, the devil is dangerous options, addictions etc. You get your guidance from a Sky wizard book and your daughter gets it from cards. They are both as real as each other.

speakout · 18/02/2021 18:54

rawalpindithelabrador

I have a large number of Tarot decks- I bought this one a year ago, and instantly became my favourite. I use it daily.

www.amazon.co.uk/Everyday-Witch-Tarot-Deborah-Blake/dp/0738746347/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&crid=2FHEGRIA7GGWM&keywords=everyday+witch+tarot&sprefix=everyday%2Caps%2C194&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1613674433&sr=8-1

BertieBotts · 18/02/2021 18:54

I don't think it's much different from consulting the bible to seek guidance about a particular situation or decision.

It's not like the bible, or the cards, are actually some benevolent/malevolent force telling people what to do. But what you read in your holy book or read into the card symbols can tell you a lot about how you feel about the situation in general, and help you organise your own thoughts about it. It's a form of reflection, in a way.

I think it would be more concerning to go to a tarot reader and then base significant life decisions on what that person is telling you. But really looking at anything symbolic is about trusting your own feelings and thoughts about something.

I am not remotely woo, I am quite sceptical, but I've gained comfort from tarot myself after a miscarriage.

BashfulClam · 18/02/2021 18:56

@speakout I love them!!

WhoWants2Know · 18/02/2021 18:57

Guard your hairbrush and nail clippings, OP. Can never be too careful.

sadpapercourtesan · 18/02/2021 18:59

Also be careful it is not a gateway for things like spirit boards or spells. Those things are potentially dangerous.

How?! It's all hokum Confused

I hope you mean that there's a small possibility of psychological distress if she's an unusually credulous teenager and believes she's opened some sort of portal to the beyond. Hmm...she was raised by a Christian who thinks tarot cards are dangerous, so maybe.

MedusasBadHairDay · 18/02/2021 19:02

@silverjackal

I can see I may have overreacted, then - clearly tarot is more accepted than I thought it would be. DD is 16 and she doesn't usually get an allowance, but I'm still unhappy with her spending the money like this and I'll definitely be asking her to pay me back.

I have read a bit more about tarot, and it's not even the imagery per se that I dislike, it's using cards like this to influence your decisions. One of her decks (I think it's the thoth) includes cards like lust, debauch, cruelty and ruin. That's hardly helpful or appropriate to see when making decisions.

I'll let her keep them but I'm not at all happy about her using these.

I have that deck, I don't recall it having those cards. It does however have beautiful cards like The Star
thecatfromjapan · 18/02/2021 19:14

So I'm guessing you check her debit card transactions and that's how you knew what she spent her money on?

I'm a big fan of parental oversight. It matters.

But I would advise that the trick is to turn a blind eye to some things.

Oversight is there to keep an eye out for things like drugs, problems with alcohol, sexual abuse/coercion, mental health issues ...

Honestly, this is so OTT. And really controlling. Over something very small.

COPPER3 · 18/02/2021 19:16

Your poor daughter! Let her be! I also use oracle and tarot cards. It's an interesting hobby and I love it! It has helped me in so many decisions and career choice. I think you should be grateful she isn't up to something more sinister.. Lighten up and stop being controlling.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 18/02/2021 19:22

I had some tarot cards a long time ago and i offered to show my mum

My very devout mother rang the Catholic helpline and they said that as long as she didn’t believe in it then that was fine

(And i was right when i read her cards...but as it was about my brothers exam results i was on fairly safe grounds)

WannabemoreWeaver · 18/02/2021 19:22

Tarot cards were used by Jung to help clients unlock their unconscious. She was wrong to go against what you said about emergency money and there should be a consequence for that. But otherwise you need to lighten up. Until she starts running around in a goats head mask and sacrificing chickens, it is pretty harmless stuff. Since it is all nonsense, the answers she comes up with are the ones in her own head, and would come up with anyway. I think you are wrong to forbid them.

Shoxfordian · 18/02/2021 19:40

I used to use Tarot when I was a teenager as well, it’s pretty harmless so yabu here

grapewine · 18/02/2021 19:44

@Recipe123

God she could be doing drugs, having unprotected sex or drinking in a field etc and you’re annoyed at her for having some tarot cards! You must be joking
This. Pick your battles.
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 18/02/2021 19:46

I don't understand your hatred toward tarot cards Confused

JessesGirl · 18/02/2021 19:51

I’ve never had any tarot cards, this thread has made me want to buy some!