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Original poster

DD using tarot cards

316 replies

silverjackal · 18/02/2021 14:08

I've made it very clear to my DD that I don't approve of her getting involved in tarot readings, divination, etc. and I certainly don't want her bringing home tarot decks. She went ahead and bought three (!!) decks without my permission, using the money I gave her for emergencies.

This happened a couple of months ago, but she only told me she bought them last week. According to her they "help her" and she's using them to inform her A Level options of all things! (I genuinely don't know if she's joking.)

I told her she has to get rid of them and she reacted very angrily, but I honestly don't know what else she expects? She bought them without my permission, using her emergency money, and seems to have an unhealthy dependency on them.

If anyone has advice I'd appreciate it.

OP posts:
SickToDeathOfThis · 18/02/2021 16:35

I use mine to meditate & reflect. I find they help me think of issues in new ways.

freddiesmoustache · 18/02/2021 16:35

Tarot cards are a great tool for reflection. They're nothing to fear.

NewAndImprovedNorks · 18/02/2021 16:36

I am a massive Edward Gorey fan and he made a pack that is every bit as mystical and able to tell fortunes as a ‘real’ Tarot deck.

DD using tarot cards
FidgetArse · 18/02/2021 16:40

Here have this Biscuit

Sittingonabench · 18/02/2021 16:40

I agree with pp about spending emergency cash but also agree your dislike of something should not be reason for it to be forbidden (also suspect this is why she’s doing it). Not really in to tarot and that type of stuff but I do find people’s belief interesting and would note that Christians (I was raised Christian although no longer practice) wear and have statues of crucifixion on prominent display as well as the stations of the cross which is far more disturbing than any picture you can find in tarot cards. Also the meaning of the tarot cards is not necessarily the same as their label, the death card is usually related to transformation and new beginnings. Your way out of this is to know more than her, for example traditionally you shouldn’t buy tarot cards-they should be gifted to you.

KittensTeaAndCake · 18/02/2021 16:40

The goths I knew through my children tended to be rather lovely, very polite and well behaved.

Yes the goths were always the nice, sensitive, misunderstood kids.

As an aside I gave my Dd 'emergency money' when she went off to uni this year. I suspect it will get used when she runs out of vodka Grin

Op have you had a rethink about the tarot cards after this thread?

missymousey · 18/02/2021 16:41

I was nearly a goth. Then my mum bought herself a long black velvet dress and a purple lined cloak. I went off it pretty fast 🤣

hellejuice91 · 18/02/2021 16:41

YANBU to be annoyed that she spent emergency money
YABVU to say that she need permission to buy them if she was using her own money

Why are you so upset by them?

aSofaNearYou · 18/02/2021 16:42

Yes I'm a Christian, DH and DD aren't, but my issue isn't that at all (I completely accept that most of my family isn't religious), it's rather the fact that a child is consulting cards which explicitly depict 'death', 'the devil' and 'the hanged man' to name a few.

Well it sounds like that IS your issue, because I can't imagine anyone that wasn't zealously religious objecting to an A Level aged child owning something that depicts death or the devil. Most people that age have been engaging with those concepts for years.

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 18/02/2021 16:43

Oh dear OP. If you don't like her looking at pictures that say "death" "the devil" and "the hangman" you will lose your shit if she ever finds the internet.

YANBU regarding the emergency money, but maybe this leads to a bigger picture. It sounds like she's got an interest in something, and because you're coming down on her like a ton of bricks over it she feels even more strongly about it and she's gone and done it anyway. At a similar age I was given very little pocket money, wasn't allowed to get a job, and I can safely say if I'd had any access to 'emergency money' I'd probably have spent it on something that pissed my Christian mother off too.

midnightstar66 · 18/02/2021 16:43

Surely she can spend her own emergency money on whatever she wishes, not sure why posters are even supporting that annoyance. Tarot cards aren't for me but my sister who teaches yoga and meditation uses them daily and my dc love it when she talks to them about the meanings. Absolutely harmless!

pontiouspilates · 18/02/2021 16:44

How old is DD?

Turquoisesea · 18/02/2021 16:46

Tarot cards are totally harmless, I used to have a deck of them (probably still have them somewhere) when I was a teenager and my friend was really into them and she’s still very spiritual. I work for a church now and it hasn’t turned me into a satanist! I think you would be better to sit down and ask your DD to talk to you about it, banning them will just make them more appealing!

CleverCatty · 18/02/2021 16:51

hmmm - normally I'd say not good to spend money for emergencies on these things and that tarot cards are a phase.

However, I don't think they're 'healthy' personally and can lead to being taken in with online/phone readings etc (vast majority of these are charlatans imo) and also I think people can get too addicted to these sorts of things. But I guess she has to find this out for herself and you banning them won't make an iota of difference.

scentedgeranium · 18/02/2021 16:52

Did you know, OP, that a lot of novelists use Tarot to 'guide' their characters when they get stuck?
I have to say I have no truck with them but I regard them as harmless; the kind of short lived thing a teen might get interested in and then drop

CleverCatty · 18/02/2021 16:52

@Turquoisesea

Tarot cards are totally harmless, I used to have a deck of them (probably still have them somewhere) when I was a teenager and my friend was really into them and she’s still very spiritual. I work for a church now and it hasn’t turned me into a satanist! I think you would be better to sit down and ask your DD to talk to you about it, banning them will just make them more appealing!
They are totally harmless but it depends how much you read into them etc - I've had a friend (think she was eventually diagnosed with bi-polar disorder) who wouldn't do anything without consulting the tarot cards.

So to me - it's very much whose hands they're in re harm.

Turquoisesea · 18/02/2021 16:56

@CleverCatty yes I can see what you mean but I think for the majority of people they are harmless and are not taken too seriously. Obviously if you are using them as an adult to make every decision in your life that’s not good, but I think they are something that a lot of teenage girls enjoy doing for a while.

PastaAndPizzaPlease · 18/02/2021 16:56

Get a grip 😂😂😂😂

zeitgeista · 18/02/2021 16:58

haha

Bluenightowl · 18/02/2021 16:58

I wonder why your daughter thought it was necessary to lie/hide the cards from you Hmm

You are coming across as very controlling.
People turn to tarot to fill a void/look for reassurance if not just for fun.
Imo you need to redirect your attention from the cards and instead do your utmost to reassure your daughter about her exams when it is so obvious she is scared?

PastaAndPizzaPlease · 18/02/2021 16:58

You’re not happy with her having Death and Hanged Man tarot cards, but you’re practicing a religion in which a key story is a fella being crucified?

Forest1000 · 18/02/2021 17:01

My daughter, who is a super-rational 15 year-old who doesn't believe in the supernatural, is a huge fan of tarot cards. She uses them to reflect on issues and challenges, and finds them hugely helpful. They can also be very beautiful forms of artwork.

So tarot has been a very positive thing for her, giving a form of insight that has nothing to do with the supernatural.

I can't think of anything more likely to drive a teenager towards a particular habit than the stance you are taking (though I agree that she shouldn't have used the emergency money).

CharlieBoo · 18/02/2021 17:01

My mum is a strict Irish Catholic and reacts very similarly regarding tarot cards/psychics etc and that they are the work of the devil. My brothers girlfriend is VERY into this stuff and after loosing my dad last year encouraged my brother to have a reading with a psychic type person (I’m not sure what the right name is). My mum went bonkers and I thought ohhhhh Kay! Maybe you have similar beliefs. If you do, does dd know how you feel and why you think they are bad for her? It’s your house and your money but you also need to understand that she is growing and becoming her own person. Not everything she does you will agree with and that’s ok.. she needs to explore, and experience life and know that it’s ok to come to you when you don’t agree and still be able to talk things through.

My own mother is extremely controlling over changes in my life and it makes our relationship hard. I’m not saying you are being controlling, just a worried mum. But you want to keep things open so she can talk to you xx

MedusasBadHairDay · 18/02/2021 17:04

I inherited my first tarot deck from my mum, they aren't the prettiest ones I own now, but the most treasured. Glad I didn't have a mum like the OP

gamerchick · 18/02/2021 17:08

@silverjackal

Thanks for the replies. Yes I'm a Christian, DH and DD aren't, but my issue isn't that at all (I completely accept that most of my family isn't religious), it's rather the fact that a child is consulting cards which explicitly depict 'death', 'the devil' and 'the hanged man' to name a few.
This is EVERYTHING to do with you being a Christian OP. Every Christian I've encountered thinks their beliefs and faith trumps everyone else's. Why don't you learn what those cards actually mean rather than look and act ignorant.
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