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Original poster

DD using tarot cards

316 replies

silverjackal · 18/02/2021 14:08

I've made it very clear to my DD that I don't approve of her getting involved in tarot readings, divination, etc. and I certainly don't want her bringing home tarot decks. She went ahead and bought three (!!) decks without my permission, using the money I gave her for emergencies.

This happened a couple of months ago, but she only told me she bought them last week. According to her they "help her" and she's using them to inform her A Level options of all things! (I genuinely don't know if she's joking.)

I told her she has to get rid of them and she reacted very angrily, but I honestly don't know what else she expects? She bought them without my permission, using her emergency money, and seems to have an unhealthy dependency on them.

If anyone has advice I'd appreciate it.

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 19/02/2021 02:15

So.. she's old enough to decide on her A-Level subjects which could affect the rest of her life...

But she's not old enough to choose how to spend her own money/have her own money?

The tarot cards will only tell her what she wants them to tell her, they don't 'do' anything.

She could also make her A-level choices based on whether a person she fancies or likes is doing the same course, who teaches a course, whether you like or dislike a particular subject, whether she is super keen on a subject that is in fact useless beyond high school as many actually are at the level they are taught (and then she finds at college she hates that topic!)...

They are her choices to make, forcing her hand and preventing her from making adult decisions by denying access to money, controlling what she buys etc (as I assume the emergency money was the only cash she had, and she has to access birthday/christmas money via you, or she'd have used that, surely!), this is NOT going to help her grow up, it is only going to help destroy any relationship you have with her.

Sapho47 · 19/02/2021 02:38

@Sparklfairy

They're tarot cards, it's not a ouija board Hmm

They can be useful for reflection purposes and looking at things from different angles. You're being controlling and ridiculous.

GrinGrinGrinGrin

I love the idea that they're somehow different Grin

ChaToilLeam · 19/02/2021 07:59

It sounds like time your DD had an allowance. The reason she used the emergency money is that she didn’t want to ask you for a transfer for the tarot cards, because you’d have refused. If she gets an allowance, she will learn to manage her money. It’s an important life skill and one she won’t develop if she just asks you for a transfer each time for what she needs.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 19/02/2021 08:27

I've been a wiccan/pagan for most of my life, I'm 60 now. My parents still can't accept it so we don't talk about it at all.
I used to use tarot cards a lot but not so much now, they are simply a conduit for sorting through your own inner thoughts. They can't tell the future or conjure up demons.
people who use them for predicting your future or whatever for money are charlatans.
The more you use them the more you realise you don't don't need them as you mature and are able to think things through.
It sounds like a phase to me, I'd just ignore it or she will become ever more rebellious and at that age anything forbidden is amazing and attractive.

Nonamesavail · 19/02/2021 08:53

[quote MedusasBadHairDay]I read something interesting about the woman who illustrated the Rider Waite deck on twitter the other day twitter.com/OnThisDayShe/status/1339858953912676355?s=19[/quote]
Wow, I never knew that.

bloomingroses · 19/02/2021 09:08

Life for all of us is extremely challenging but at least us grown ups have got through our lives without having to live through anything like what we have today. Imagine how it feels to be 16 whilst this is all going on. I’d cut her some slack and let her be. I have lots of good memories of being 16, what have today’s 16 year olds got.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 19/02/2021 09:08

@Laiste

Interestingly even the 'Devil' card it's self doesn't mean the devil's coming!

Ironically one of it's meanings is a warning that the questioner is in danger of being dominated or over controlled by a person or persons close to them ......

I don't know how tarot cards work (it was all horoscopes when I was that age) but I bet the poor kid gets the devil card a LOT

If it is you, the poster with the 'disrespectful daughter who does perfectly normal teenage things which you've forbidden (wearing clothes thst are mainstream - not alcohol drugs & sex) then you clearly still haven't sought the help that was suggested. If I was your daughter, I'd have gone to live with a friend before now. Or frankly, even with Gavin Williamson - perish the thought.

Leave the poor kid alone & get some help.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 19/02/2021 09:14

[quote silverjackal]@longdressed She has a debit card, DH and I transfer her money whenever she wants to go out / buy clothes / etc.[/quote]
That's not emergency money then is it, it's just money and at 16 she should have access to some money without having to account for every penny.

One of her decks (I think it's the thoth) includes cards like lust, debauch, cruelty and ruin

So does Shakespeare

Vari757 · 19/02/2021 09:21

At 16 why doesn't your daughter work? Most teenagers should have a part time job along with their studies.

speakout · 19/02/2021 09:22

Vari757

Do you have a teenager?

BlueTimes · 19/02/2021 09:23

@Vari757

At 16 why doesn't your daughter work? Most teenagers should have a part time job along with their studies.
Says someone totally deluded about the job market and unemployment rates in various parts of the country thanks to the pandemic. Hmm
speakout · 19/02/2021 09:26

Says someone totally deluded about the job market and unemployment rates in various parts of the country thanks to the pandemic.

Exactly!!

Even before Covid it was pretty impossible as a 16 year old to get part time work.

LunaNorth · 19/02/2021 09:27

@speakout

rawalpindithelabrador

I have a large number of Tarot decks- I bought this one a year ago, and instantly became my favourite. I use it daily.

]]

That’s the one I use, too, @speakout

I love it.

tuliparcher · 19/02/2021 09:28

@silverjackal I would not tolerate tarot cards in my house either. Especially as you have specifically said no.

Vari757 · 19/02/2021 09:33

I don't have a teenager, no... mot quite old enough for that yet!
I worked from the age of 14 though and so did most of peers at the time. U really didn't think it was unusual for teens to pick up part time work in supermarkets, shops, café etc... I appreciate the last 2 during covid will obviously not be an option but why not before that? Or at the very least a paper round!

Theimpossiblegirl · 19/02/2021 09:36

@Vari757

At 16 why doesn't your daughter work? Most teenagers should have a part time job along with their studies.
My dd has applied for more jobs in the last six months than I have applied for in my life. With hospitality closed and so much competition for jobs they're not taking on teens. She's supposed to be saving for uni but can't, so that's another knock on of Covid.
speakout · 19/02/2021 09:36

For those that "wouldn't tolerate" tarot cards in the house, how would you feel if a family member brought home a copy of the Torah because they were interested in Judaism, or a Bhuddist prayer mat because they wanted to start meditation, or a statue of Ganesh, simply because they liked it?

Would those things also not be "tolerated"?

speakout · 19/02/2021 09:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn - posted on wrong thread.

Vari757 · 19/02/2021 09:44

I'm not asking that question to start a debate about the economy post covid. The reason I brought this up is that OP's DD doesn't seem to have any money of her own or access to money to buy things she likes so I was wondering if a part time job is another thing the OP hadn't "Allowed" if you see what i mean?
16 is a young adult but OP seems to be treating her as a much younger child by creating these non issues.

rawalpindithelabrador · 19/02/2021 09:45

@Vari757

I don't have a teenager, no... mot quite old enough for that yet! I worked from the age of 14 though and so did most of peers at the time. U really didn't think it was unusual for teens to pick up part time work in supermarkets, shops, café etc... I appreciate the last 2 during covid will obviously not be an option but why not before that? Or at the very least a paper round!
It's now 2021. There are 6m on UC for unemployment alone. The days of Saturday jobs and paper rounds, LOL, bloody hell, I'm in my 50s and realise it's no longer the 1990s. Supermarkets have huge online apps. Get with the programme!

My older teen DD works because she has care qualifications. Otherwise, it'd be a no go.

Buccanarab · 19/02/2021 10:02

I have read a bit more about tarot, and it's not even the imagery per se that I dislike, it's using cards like this to influence your decisions.

You let a wildy outdated and inaccurate fictional book influence your decisions so I wouldn't judge others on how the make theirs.

*One of her decks (I think it's the thoth) includes cards like lust, debauch, cruelty and ruin. That's hardly helpful or appropriate to see when making decisions.

Again, your Bible tells you things like if a man rapes an unmarried women then she has to marry him and stay with him for life. It also condones murder, incest and slavery. None of which make a good basis for decisions making.

GrolliffetheDragon · 19/02/2021 10:10

One of her decks (I think it's the thoth) includes cards like lust, debauch, cruelty and ruin. That's hardly helpful or appropriate to see when making decisions.

Well life isn't all sweetness and light. And why isn't it helpful, if it makes you stop and reconsider your actions and therefore avoid cruelty and ruin, for example?

BlueTimes · 19/02/2021 10:11

@Vari757

I don't have a teenager, no... mot quite old enough for that yet! I worked from the age of 14 though and so did most of peers at the time. U really didn't think it was unusual for teens to pick up part time work in supermarkets, shops, café etc... I appreciate the last 2 during covid will obviously not be an option but why not before that? Or at the very least a paper round!
I worked when I was younger but it’s much harder, even before covid, to get a job at the age of 16. Even an 18 year old can no longer just walk into something and work their way up.
speakout · 19/02/2021 10:12

Again, your Bible tells you things like if a man rapes an unmarried women then she has to marry him and stay with him for life. It also condones murder, incest and slavery. None of which make a good basis for decisions making.

Exactly.

And the bible hardly stants up to close moral examination.
Details of infanticide, mass genocide, how to beat slaves, how to punish women.

I would think Tarot is pretty mild stuff compared to the bible.

scentedgeranium · 19/02/2021 10:22

Yep both mine worked though their A levels - one in hospitality, waitressing, which is a complete no-no now. The other on weekend supermarket shifts. I bet that is also now out of the question. Tough times.

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