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Original poster

DD using tarot cards

316 replies

silverjackal · 18/02/2021 14:08

I've made it very clear to my DD that I don't approve of her getting involved in tarot readings, divination, etc. and I certainly don't want her bringing home tarot decks. She went ahead and bought three (!!) decks without my permission, using the money I gave her for emergencies.

This happened a couple of months ago, but she only told me she bought them last week. According to her they "help her" and she's using them to inform her A Level options of all things! (I genuinely don't know if she's joking.)

I told her she has to get rid of them and she reacted very angrily, but I honestly don't know what else she expects? She bought them without my permission, using her emergency money, and seems to have an unhealthy dependency on them.

If anyone has advice I'd appreciate it.

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 18/02/2021 17:12

@silverjackal
Re Tarot cards...What made me realise they don't 'Work' are the amount of people on you tube doing Tarot Divinations on various things.

It is nothing but guesswork.

An awful lot of 'predictions' didn't come to pass.

Don't stress it. They are just printed cards. Playing cards can be used for 'Divination' as can tea leaves and coffee grounds...

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Even 'Ouija boards', when people are blindfolded don't work.
look upon Derren Brown who debunks this type of thing.

scentedgeranium · 18/02/2021 17:12

OP you do know that Death etc are symbolic don't you? Just as if you read a novel or poem in any depth you'll get symbolism.

MirandaWestsNewBFF · 18/02/2021 17:14

Honestly, I think this is a pretty small thing. Not wanting to get rid of them and justifying why she keeps them doesn’t equate to having an unhealthy dependency on them, and there are so many worse things she could be doing. You don’t like them, but you don’t have to like everything your kid does. At her age I was into all kinds of embarrassing woo - you name it, I’d have had a crack at it - so she may well grow out of tarot use if you shrug at it. It might be that her interest in tarot is less genuine than a desire to react against something you’ve stated disapproval of.

The issue really is that she spent emergency money on something that’s not an emergency. Now that really isn’t ok and needs tackling. What would she have done if an emergency had come up after she had spent the money?

scentedgeranium · 18/02/2021 17:14

@Forest1000

My daughter, who is a super-rational 15 year-old who doesn't believe in the supernatural, is a huge fan of tarot cards. She uses them to reflect on issues and challenges, and finds them hugely helpful. They can also be very beautiful forms of artwork.

So tarot has been a very positive thing for her, giving a form of insight that has nothing to do with the supernatural.

I can't think of anything more likely to drive a teenager towards a particular habit than the stance you are taking (though I agree that she shouldn't have used the emergency money).

This is exactly how Tarot is supposed to be used in the modern world. It's not my bag, but I get that it's a signposting, roadmapping system, giving the reader pause to reflect. I kind of wish it was my bag tbh!
ConquestEmpireHungerPlague · 18/02/2021 17:15

@NewAndImprovedNorks

I am a massive Edward Gorey fan and he made a pack that is every bit as mystical and able to tell fortunes as a ‘real’ Tarot deck.
Thank you - I'm a huge fan too but have never seen this for some reason. Just ordered a set of my own. Smile
oakleaffy · 18/02/2021 17:16

'Death' in the Tarot represents 'Change'

''The Devil'' greed and addictions..

Death isn't a ''Bad'' card, it represents new beginnings.

I was interested in them as a teenager, and still have a set.

{As well as other types of Divination cards bought at a low time of life when I felt I needed guidance, in retrospect}

Nillynally · 18/02/2021 17:20

Oh you're one of those mums.. lighten up

31RooCambon · 18/02/2021 17:20

You are being ridiculous

SixesAndEights · 18/02/2021 17:25

@silverjackal

Thanks for the replies. Yes I'm a Christian, DH and DD aren't, but my issue isn't that at all (I completely accept that most of my family isn't religious), it's rather the fact that a child is consulting cards which explicitly depict 'death', 'the devil' and 'the hanged man' to name a few.
Not all cards have these on them. They're also symbolic.

Why not have a discussion with her about the kinds of cards she has and how she thinks they might help her.

I find mine really helpful when my mind isn't clear, they help me clarify what is actually on my mind and what I want to do about it.

Wanderlusto · 18/02/2021 17:26

As a christian and also someone who has a tarot deck or two lying about, I can understand your concerns but you probably dont have anything to worry about, with regards to the depictions at least.

The cards usually have positive meanings and interpretations (or a silver lining at least) Even 'death' often just means the end of one phase of life and new beginnings.

But you do need to chat with her about how they should never govern her big life decisions. I also never ask questions about anything supernatural or anyone who has passed on. I do believe there are things in this world that don't want good things for us and also, whilst tarot is mostly harmless fun, it can become dangerous if you take it too seriously.

Also be careful it is not a gateway for things like spirit boards or spells. Those things are potentially dangerous.

That aside, I like my cards. I believe they might actually help her with critical decision making by helping consider things she hasn't thought about. The key is to right questions. Not 'what class should I pick?' but 'what things do I need to consider when choosing a class?'. Flat out advise her that, that she has to choose her own destiny and tarot cards are not intended to advise you one way or another on big decisions like that.

MorganKitten · 18/02/2021 17:27

@silverjackal

Thanks for the replies. Yes I'm a Christian, DH and DD aren't, but my issue isn't that at all (I completely accept that most of my family isn't religious), it's rather the fact that a child is consulting cards which explicitly depict 'death', 'the devil' and 'the hanged man' to name a few.
Death means endings, change and transformation The Devil means attachment, addiction, and releasing limiting beliefs The Hanged Man means letting go and new perspectives

So not bad cards

Original poster
silverjackal · 18/02/2021 17:30

I can see I may have overreacted, then - clearly tarot is more accepted than I thought it would be. DD is 16 and she doesn't usually get an allowance, but I'm still unhappy with her spending the money like this and I'll definitely be asking her to pay me back.

I have read a bit more about tarot, and it's not even the imagery per se that I dislike, it's using cards like this to influence your decisions. One of her decks (I think it's the thoth) includes cards like lust, debauch, cruelty and ruin. That's hardly helpful or appropriate to see when making decisions.

I'll let her keep them but I'm not at all happy about her using these.

OP posts:
Wanderlusto · 18/02/2021 17:33

Chances are itll be a short lived obsession. Might be a case of just choosing your battles. Absolutely have her pay you back.

longdressed · 18/02/2021 17:35

If your child is sixteen and doesn't have an allowance, where does she get money from to buy clothes, go to the cinema, get coffee with friends? Does she have a part time job?

Original poster
silverjackal · 18/02/2021 17:39

@longdressed She has a debit card, DH and I transfer her money whenever she wants to go out / buy clothes / etc.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 18/02/2021 17:41

Ok so you transfer cash. But if she doesn’t have money, how can she pay it back? Or does she have her own money?

I really would pick my battles op.

Boxtroll · 18/02/2021 17:42

Reminds me of my ex bf. His grandparents were born again Christians and freaked out when they saw my tarot cards!!

Then again, Harry Potter was also banned around them.

Nonamesavail · 18/02/2021 17:43

If she is 16 I would be super careful not to just push her away into a full blown pagan....(rolls eyes)

Original poster
silverjackal · 18/02/2021 17:44

DD agreed to do chores to earn back the money, and she still has quite a bit of birthday/christmas money left over (although it's in cash).

To be honest I have nothing against her doing household chores and getting an allowance, it's just something that we've never done.

OP posts:
speakout · 18/02/2021 17:44

My close family are devout baptists.

Tarot would scare them to death- totally satanic in their view.
A gateway to the demonic.

MarmedukeDuke · 18/02/2021 17:50

Perhaps you should do some reading about what those cards actually mean.

GrolliffetheDragon · 18/02/2021 18:15

hmmm - normally I'd say not good to spend money for emergencies on these things and that tarot cards are a phase.

You sound like my DGM. 30 year phase for me know.

However, I don't think they're 'healthy' personally and can lead to being taken in with online/phone readings etc (vast majority of these are charlatans imo) and also I think people can get too addicted to these sorts of things. But I guess she has to find this out for herself and you banning them won't make an iota of difference.

One doesn't automatically lead to the other, I would guess in the cases where it does it could have been anything, I know someone obsessed with signs from angels and going to church, you could get hooked on rolling a dice to make a decision, these are all signs of a problem or an unhappiness.

I've never paid anyone for a reading, and I'm capable of making a decision without reaching for the cards. However shuffling the cards can be quite soothing, looking at the art can be relaxing, but I could also choose to read a book, watch a film, listen to music...

ruthieness · 18/02/2021 18:16

When I was a teenager I did "Tarot" card readings at parties. This was fun and popular.
I found it very helpful to learn a number of "Barnum" statements - usually positive statement which sound individual, actually apply to everyone.
"You are very loyal to your friends"
"You are very talented but this talent may not have been revealed yet"
"You have anger inside you.....(funny enough sometimes people get angry that they accused of being angry - but denial is proof!!!)
Anyway it was pretty harmless - but it is useful for young people to learn how these statements work.

FilledSoda · 18/02/2021 18:20

You need to calm TF down.
She'll be away in two years and won't tell you anything .

GrolliffetheDragon · 18/02/2021 18:21

Also be careful it is not a gateway for things like spirit boards or spells. Those things are potentially dangerous.

A spell is much a like a prayer, a ritualised prayer that you then have to act to make happen - ie you can't just make a spell to become rich, you do the spell then need to work hard to achieve your aim. You ask the god/dess for help but you won't get handed it on a plate.

(I'm pagan as well as someone who mucks about with tarot - the paganism came first.)

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