Fat shaming at work

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I know I'm fat. I'm 19 stone. However I have lost 4.5 stone in the last year

I work in an area of the nhs where we have to wear scrubs and the colours on the back of the neck indicate the size of the scrubs. I'm in the largest size of scrubs and I overheard my colleagues saying they'd be ashamed to be seen wearing such a big size. I'm actually quite happy I've made it to the biggest size because I had to buy my own previously!

It's just the latest comment in a series of shittiness.

We’ve been working our arses off because we’re seeing a lot of really sick covid patients so our hospital is basically giving us biscuits, tea and coffee for doing a good job.. everyone helps themselves to a packet of biscuits, there’s 3 in a pack 39 calories each.. every fucking time I get myself a pack of biscuits (maybe once a week) ‘ooh 14 I wouldn’t eat those if I were you’

The other day someone brought in a pack of donuts and I sat next to them. Someone I work with then said ‘oh guys I’m surprised there’s any left with them being next to 14down I don't even like donuts so just FUCK OFF

I’m eating noodles at 109 calories for a pot ‘oh I couldnt eat noodles every day, very heavy.. She then patted my stomach!!

Or the worst.. I’m having a miscarriage and one of my colleagues told me the reason I’m having it is because I’m fat. And that I don’t need ivf I just need to stop eating.

I’m fat because I was on anti psychotic medication and I have just had enough. So I’m going to make a complaint when I’m back in work. But my manager today said it's a cultural thing and the person who keeps telling me I'm too fat and making a point of making me feel shit is just trying to help..

I've fucking had enough. I'm so so close to just emailing to say that's enough here's my notice but I love my job. I just don't want to be judged when I eat there! I know I'm fat, I have eyes it's my body. But short of just taking a liquid diet to work I can't think of anything to do to get them all to stop making comments!

Aibu to tell them all to fuck off when I'm
Next in?

I’m having a miscarriage and one of my colleagues told me the reason I’m having it is because I’m fat.

You work with complete and utter shitheads.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=wwH3rA8Evow
^ PP who are asking about other cultures and fat shaming might find this interesting.

Not that I’m excusing their behaviour at all. Their comments are massively out of order and I’m so sorry that you lost your baby OP.

@Savethewhales

You are my kind of gal!

I don't know if you have noticed, but it is really easy to slip on those NHS floors and accidentally belt someone with your fist when reaching out for something to steady yourself. Apparently.

If someone said that to me whilst I was eating noodles I’d throw them in their face. Just rise above it, you are doing so well.

I'd just give them the death stare & say "my weight & what I eat is none of your business". Then walk away, or you'll get back back tracking or arguing. If that doesn't work, HR & harassment claim.

I’m amazed people aren’t aware that in some cultures it’s much more normal/ acceptable to tell people when they’re fat (accompanied by prodding). I was about to say you obviously haven’t spent much time outside of your bubble then it occurred to me you’re probably just not fat so it’s never come up so fair play.

Sorry OP this sounds really horrible and no one should be subjected to that. I’ve raised a formal grievance at work for bullying and would do so again in a heartbeat - but that may not be a course everyone wants to go down and my circumstances are different.

Well done you

You've done brilliantly to lose so much already, well done.

Trust me, these same people will be saying you're getting 'too skinny' and should 'stop there' when you lose a bit more!

I bet they're not exactly size 4 either.

@CarlottaValdez, which cultures are these please and do they poke at slim people and comment on their ribs showing and so on?
How very odd.

@CarlottaValdez

I’m amazed people aren’t aware that in some cultures it’s much more normal/ acceptable to tell people when they’re fat (accompanied by prodding). I was about to say you obviously haven’t spent much time outside of your bubble then it occurred to me you’re probably just not fat so it’s never come up so fair play.

I’m fat so I have noticed this too, although it is unacceptable at work

Indian/Pakistani- usually after telling you to eat up
Chinese - I was ordered out of a shop in HK for being too fat once (was a size 12)
Austrian- they are like Germans with the tact removed
Dutch - brutal
So yes, it does seem more acceptable in some cultures to say people are fat but it’s no excuse to do it here in The UK, especially in a work environment and should be dealt with whoever is doing it.

@CarlottaValdez, which cultures are these please and do they poke at slim people and comment on their ribs showing and so on?

I’m talking about my Arab/ North African relatives and yes they will also tell you if they think you’re too thin. Other cultures I have less experience of but have also seen this in Japan and SE Asian places.

Even if it is cultural it’s bullying and they need to be pulled up on it.
I’d go to HR.
Child marriage, FGM and arranged marriages are also cultural and NOT COOL

I don’t buy the culture bit.
I have worked with people from many different cultures and none of them would behave like this.

[quote Moondust001]@Savethewhales

You are my kind of gal!

I don't know if you have noticed, but it is really easy to slip on those NHS floors and accidentally belt someone with your fist when reaching out for something to steady yourself. Apparently.[/quote]
So true!
And one benefit of being well padded is, if it's you who fall you'll not hurt yourself too bad. It's always the skinny people who break bones! Take it from someone well padded who's fallen over a few times lately, there are benefits.
I hate fat shamers. So what if it is "cultural"? They need educating in our culture, in that case! If they work in the NHS, an English organisation in an English country then they need to know what is appropriate. What if they were to say something like that to a patient? They need stopping! It could do untold damage to someone with an eating disorder and is an unecessary hurt that no one needs.

[quote Moondust001]@Savethewhales

You are my kind of gal!

I don't know if you have noticed, but it is really easy to slip on those NHS floors and accidentally belt someone with your fist when reaching out for something to steady yourself. Apparently.[/quote]
Haha yeah I've noticed that, a stray glide sheet left on the floor is a flaming hazard for slipping, it be hilarious if op accidently slipped on one and fell on top of one of the mean girls, then reply oops sorry didn't see you there, I reallllly hope I didn't hurrrrt you there in pure sarcasm mode, sorry I'd buckle with laughter watching scrawny rude girls embarrassment teach her a lesson. There's never a reason to be nasty but every reason for pay back. Nhs or not the level of humaliation the poster puts up with is ridiculous. Who the hell do they think they are?

Some cultures don't value independance and think of the body as public property, so consider it "ok" to call people fat to their face.
It's not ok here though and I think they need to be called out on their behaviour. What's culturally acceptable in their country is downright rude, bordering on abusive here. That's the issue.
I would have thought the NHS has strict anti bullying rules and a way of dealing with this sort of thing, so please OP don't let your health be affected by this. TALK to your Manager.
You don't know who else you might be helping. Imagine if she said it to someone suicidal with body dysmorphia? I think you owe it to yourself and the general public to say something