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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask, would it bother you if your husband told your friend that they looked stunning at your wedding?

190 replies

Peeeeeta · 16/02/2021 20:38

This happened pre covid, and I'm obviously never going to mention it to the bride, but I'm bored and curious for other peoples opinions.

I went to my friends wedding, and towards the end of the evening, the groom hugged me and said "thanks for coming, you look great, honestly you look really stunning in that dress".

Would this bother you if you were the bride?

...drip feed that me and the groom used to date years ago.

OP posts:
Thislittlefinger123 · 16/02/2021 20:40

Urm, not especially. Isn't it just a compliment? He obviously thinks his wife looks more stunning as he just married her Grin

LolaSmiles · 16/02/2021 20:40

It sounds like someone who is happy on their wedding day, likes the ex enough as a friend to have invited them to their wedding and are being pleasant.

If you're not planning on mentioning anything, is part of you hoping posters reply saying he was out of order because that might mean he holds a torch for you still?

Thislittlefinger123 · 16/02/2021 20:41

Why would you mention it to the bride? You make it sound like he came on to you when all he did was say you had a nice dress? Surely her response would be er, OK then Confused

UserID779 · 16/02/2021 20:42

Sounds like a normal complement to me.

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 16/02/2021 20:42

I think you’re misreading a friendly platitude. Unless he held you tight and confessed he’d married wrong girl as he said you looked stunning
It’s a gushy kind of thing that folk say at weddings.

Why do you think it’s significant?

Loopyloututu · 16/02/2021 20:43

It sounds to me like he was worried you may be upset he was getting married so overcompensated on the compliment possibly (and was probably a bit drunk?)

murbblurb · 16/02/2021 20:43

Bloke complimented you on your outfit and thanked you for spending time at their wedding. Doesn't mean he still wants to shag you. Can't think why this would occur to the person he just did the vows with, even if she did know the history.

leopardprintpants · 16/02/2021 20:44

I imagine he said it to be polite and to lots of guests..

Toorapid · 16/02/2021 20:44

Oh dear, you've spent far too much time thinking about this.

The bride didn't mind you being at her wedding, so I'm going to guess she won't mind her DH making polite small talk with you.

FourEyesGood · 16/02/2021 20:44

Unless he said “You look stunning in that dress. Way better than” (gestures towards bride) “her over there”, you’re overthinking this. It was just a friendly thing he said because he was in a good mood and he wanted to make everyone feel good.

user85963842 · 16/02/2021 20:45

It would be way out of character for me DH, he wouldn't describe me as stunning as that just isnt the kind of language he uses so yes would hurt me a lot! But I could imagine my dad saying something like that and not meaning anything inappropriate by it. So I think it completely depends!

bellver888 · 16/02/2021 20:45

he was probably on cloud 9 just getting married and was feeling abit gushy

and you probably did look stunning! it’s not a sleazy or suggestive comment by any means

ForTheLoveOfWine · 16/02/2021 20:46

Maybe he was being sarcastic Wink
And meant it more in a nice dress hun kind of way Grin

user85963842 · 16/02/2021 20:46

*my DH!

RootyT00t · 16/02/2021 20:47

No.

Original poster
Peeeeeta · 16/02/2021 20:47

Hmm, it made me feel uncomfortable when he said it tbh, the "in that dress bit", felt a bit sleazy. Personally I'd be a bit Hmm if my husband said that to one of my friends in any situation, but maybe I'm just a jealous overthinking psycho Grin.

OP posts:
1Morewineplease · 16/02/2021 20:48

Do you feel that his compliments were what you really wanted to hear?

BlueTimes · 16/02/2021 20:48

I’d guess he had several lines to use for the various guests who had attended and that one was the most appropriate for you. He probably said the same thing to several others there.

TheVolturi · 16/02/2021 20:49

Do you still love him op...

SavoyCabbage · 16/02/2021 20:49

I wouldn't even notice him saying it. It's just something people say when people are dressed up. It doesn't mean he was actually stunned.

fairydustandpixies · 16/02/2021 20:49

I was a MOH for a friend several years back. We'd both gone to weight loss classes and done quite well (several stone each). At the reception the groom whispered in my ear and asked if I'd get her to lose more weight because she was 'far too fat'. I was so horrified. I said she would have lost far more by not marrying you. Fortunately he understood what I meant judging by the look on his face.

Happycat1212 · 16/02/2021 20:49

Wow yeh you’re really over thinking this one 😂

MoonlightInVermont · 16/02/2021 20:50

I’m another one thinking you’re reading too much into a rather gushing platitude.

Ileflottante · 16/02/2021 20:50

Please don’t tell the bride. She’ll think you’re a bonkers ex.

Loopyloututu · 16/02/2021 20:51

It doesn't mean he was actually stunned.

Grin
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