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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask, would it bother you if your husband told your friend that they looked stunning at your wedding?

190 replies

Peeeeeta · 16/02/2021 20:38

This happened pre covid, and I'm obviously never going to mention it to the bride, but I'm bored and curious for other peoples opinions.

I went to my friends wedding, and towards the end of the evening, the groom hugged me and said "thanks for coming, you look great, honestly you look really stunning in that dress".

Would this bother you if you were the bride?

...drip feed that me and the groom used to date years ago.

OP posts:
fruitbrewhaha · 17/02/2021 09:33

eh? He was probably a bit drunk and had spent all day hearing people say that to each other, I mean we do make an effort for a wedding, I expect you looked different to how you normally look. Weddings are full of people complimenting each other how how nice they look.

I think you are hoping it means more.

OrraBoralis · 17/02/2021 09:35

I reckon he was a bit drunk and had told his cousin, his great auntie Jean and his new MiL that they looked stunning in that dress.

korawick12345 · 17/02/2021 09:39

The ‘in that dress’ bit is slightly dependent on what you were wearing. Skintight, slashed to the waist Sexy number then yes sleazy, normal wedding attire not sleazy

Emeraldshamrock · 17/02/2021 09:44

I need to see this dress too?

VinylDetective · 17/02/2021 09:45

No. Why would anyone care?

Sweet666 · 17/02/2021 11:55

People are being ignorant, when a man approaches you and tells you how good you look in your dress or jeans or whatever, he is expressing that you look good...aka attractive... and most women like their partner to give them loyalty in who they express attraction to. If a man comes up to you in the street and says you look stunning, would you really think oh a polite compliment? No. You would know he's expressing attraction to you and even more so if you're his EX!

Ellpellwood · 17/02/2021 11:59

Depends if he did a big old leery face at your boobs at the same time.

VinylDetective · 17/02/2021 12:00

@Sweet666

People are being ignorant, when a man approaches you and tells you how good you look in your dress or jeans or whatever, he is expressing that you look good...aka attractive... and most women like their partner to give them loyalty in who they express attraction to. If a man comes up to you in the street and says you look stunning, would you really think oh a polite compliment? No. You would know he's expressing attraction to you and even more so if you're his EX!
What nonsense. My husband frequently compliments my friends. It doesn’t mean a thing, it’s a social nicety.
Sweet666 · 17/02/2021 12:06

These are the same women who thinks it's okay for their bf to scroll through women on Instagram telling them how good they look, you do you but it isn't the norm to be cool with it, MOST women want their bf to reserve their attraction to them. Also 'stunning in that dress' usually means your body looks sexy in it...especially if your ex says it... I mean come on...really?

VinylDetective · 17/02/2021 12:09

My bloke has no interest in Instagram, I doubt he’s ever looked at it. You seem to be projecting massively here @Sweet666.

Sweet666 · 17/02/2021 12:12

Not sure why you took that comment personally..? You must be the one who is projecting...

VinylDetective · 17/02/2021 12:15

What am I projecting then? This should be interesting ...

ErickBroch · 17/02/2021 12:17

I wouldn't like it. But obviously I wouldn't be bloody telling anyone.

Sweet666 · 17/02/2021 12:17

Are you okay..? Cringe....
I'm commenting on a thread with my opinions, not having a personal talk with you about you and your husband?

Scbchl · 17/02/2021 12:18

No, its just a compliment. Me and my dh both complimented our guests at our wedding. Mental you are even thinking about this.

Playnoh · 17/02/2021 12:20

Sounds like you have a bee in your bonnet about dating him many moons ago and are clinging onto any straws you can find. No it means nothing, get over it.

VinylDetective · 17/02/2021 12:23

@Sweet666

Are you okay..? Cringe.... I'm commenting on a thread with my opinions, not having a personal talk with you about you and your husband?
As I thought, no sensible response. Oh, I forgot for a moment - it’s half term, isn’t it?
Fuckingcrustybread · 17/02/2021 12:34

@Sweet666

People are being ignorant, when a man approaches you and tells you how good you look in your dress or jeans or whatever, he is expressing that you look good...aka attractive... and most women like their partner to give them loyalty in who they express attraction to. If a man comes up to you in the street and says you look stunning, would you really think oh a polite compliment? No. You would know he's expressing attraction to you and even more so if you're his EX!
You're getting really carried away here, try reading what was actually said and stop making up random scenarios.
unmarkedbythat · 17/02/2021 12:37

Wouldn't even have thought about it again.

Fuckingcrustybread · 17/02/2021 12:37

@Sweet666
Why are you rambling about Instagram likes?

unmarkedbythat · 17/02/2021 12:38

@Sweet666

People are being ignorant, when a man approaches you and tells you how good you look in your dress or jeans or whatever, he is expressing that you look good...aka attractive... and most women like their partner to give them loyalty in who they express attraction to. If a man comes up to you in the street and says you look stunning, would you really think oh a polite compliment? No. You would know he's expressing attraction to you and even more so if you're his EX!
I tell people they look good all the time, it doesn't mean I'm attracted to them.
Dogscanteatonions · 17/02/2021 12:44

When we meet up with my friends or indeed his friends my dp often tells them they look great, fantastic etc, compliments them on clothes etc - you know why? Because they DO look great. I do the same.

itwillallbeokay · 17/02/2021 13:42

@Playnoh

Sounds like you have a bee in your bonnet about dating him many moons ago and are clinging onto any straws you can find. No it means nothing, get over it.
This! It sounds like you want there to be more to it.
DoraTan · 17/02/2021 13:57

Sounds a bit much to me and I'd definitely feel a bit uncomfortable and awkward being on the recieving end of that compliment from a man.

If DH told any woman they looked 'stunning in that dress' I would also think it was a bit much and tell him so.

If it's not a phrase he'd use to describe his Mum or sister, then it's not appropriate.

But it always blows my mind what other women are ok with putting up with on here.

LolaSmiles · 17/02/2021 14:45

But it always blows my mind what other women are ok with putting up with on here

I'm blown away by what some people put up with in terms of men who don't lift a finger, men who apparently don't see mess, men who are apparently incapable of sending a birthday card to their mum but manage just fine at work, men who claim their job is oh so big and important that they can't trouble themselves with childcare and so on.

Saying a friend looks good at an event at an event where everyone is dressed up isn't something some of us 'put up with'. We're just secure enough in our own relationships that we can say something nice to our friends, and our DH's can do likewise without being insecure or worrying that there's a secret desire to sleep with someone else.

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