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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask, would it bother you if your husband told your friend that they looked stunning at your wedding?

190 replies

Peeeeeta · 16/02/2021 20:38

This happened pre covid, and I'm obviously never going to mention it to the bride, but I'm bored and curious for other peoples opinions.

I went to my friends wedding, and towards the end of the evening, the groom hugged me and said "thanks for coming, you look great, honestly you look really stunning in that dress".

Would this bother you if you were the bride?

...drip feed that me and the groom used to date years ago.

OP posts:
TimeToCloseTheDoor · 16/02/2021 22:33

An ex is an ex, just that, especially invited to the wedding

Cam2020 · 16/02/2021 22:39

Definitely the kind of thing my close friend's husbands/partners would say and something my DP would say to my close friends too.

It's just a compliment, not a come on. You were at a wedding so presumably you dressed up with the intention of looking nice.

Skysblue · 16/02/2021 22:41

I think it depends what you were wearing 🤣 His comment reads very differently if you were in a tight short low-cut dress than if you were in something long/classy.

He was probably just over-excited from the party and gushing at everyone. I don’t think his comment was odd but it is perhaps odd that you’re still thinking about it...

HelloThereMeHearties · 16/02/2021 22:42

I wouldn't be very happy, no.

Pluas · 16/02/2021 22:45

Your response to a completely standard compliment to someone dressed up is the only weird bit here.

And the fact that you feel the need to assure us you’re not going to tell the bride!!!

goldielockdown2 · 16/02/2021 22:46

Maybe I'm just a jealous overthinking psycho

'Fraid so

doodleygirl · 16/02/2021 22:48

What a really strange reaction to a complement. I would just smile and say thank you. I am sure my husband told many of our guests how gorgeous they looked at our wedding, because they did. I also complemented both male and female guests on how stunning they looked.

Why would that be weird?

custardbear · 16/02/2021 22:51

Oh shit, I told quite a few men st my wedding they looked great in their clan kilts 😉

Wiredforsound · 16/02/2021 22:54

The gay best man at our wedding told my mum she looked stunning in her mother of the bride outfit. She did as well.

Seriously, unless he was trying to grab your bum while he said it I wouldn’t give it a seconds thought. It was a nice thing for him to say.

MrsGRamsay · 16/02/2021 22:55

I’m confused. Are you trying to say you purposely tried to outshine the bride and he noticed?

I once turned up to a teeny registry wedding (6 people, including the happy couple) and was asked constantly if I was the bride - I was wearing a bland cocktail dress - I hope bride was obvious.

However, my evil SIL turned up late to her own brother’s wedding (not mine) in an outfit that was going to be talked about - on purpose.

NiceGerbil · 16/02/2021 23:01

Well I think it's fine.

I have also said to men they look very handsome/ smart/ etc. If someone has made an effort it's courtesy!

So say he was thinking what. That she looked stunning. And said so.

What is this supposed to imply? They he's still smitten with her? That he thinks she's better looking than the wife? I mean what's the actual concern.

If it's just that it's an odd thing to say under the circs and no more than that. Then so what?

It's a year ago!

BilboBercow · 16/02/2021 23:03

The fact that you're thinking about this a year later is far more significant than a pissed bloke on his wedding day telling a woman he knows she looks "stunning in that dress". You won't admit it here op but I think you should really examine why you've made this into a thing.

Suagar · 16/02/2021 23:15

@Thislittlefinger123

Why would you mention it to the bride? You make it sound like he came on to you when all he did was say you had a nice dress? Surely her response would be er, OK then Confused
Agree with above. The compliment may seem gushing at first glance but to be honest on your wedding day you're in a super happy mood due to marrying the love of your life and it sounds like he just complimented you in that moment... People come dressed up to weddings and look lovely so I'm sure he also thought the same of other women there too.

If you still fancy the groom or have any kind of envy of your friend, keep your distance from them. He's married now and you need to move on and keep your mind out of it.

DrManhattan · 16/02/2021 23:20

A year ago lol

Suagar · 16/02/2021 23:20

@Pebbledashery

Would you rather he told you that you looked like a turnip and it wasn't nice to see you at the wedding? Give the guy a break, he gave you a compliment.
🤣🤣
partyatthepalace · 16/02/2021 23:29

No it’s just a polite compliment to someone who has dressed up for a wedding.

Why would you read more into it? Do you want it to mean more?!

PhatPhanny · 16/02/2021 23:35

Wow, no this wouldn't bother me, but your emotionally invested because you were once a couple.

Id not think about it anymore, you looked stunning in that dress, and got to watch your friend get married, remember that instead.

Sweet666 · 16/02/2021 23:41

Someone with a girlfriend or wife shouldn't be telling other women they look stunning, obviously that's not appropriate if you have a girlfriend/wife

Sweet666 · 16/02/2021 23:42

And the fact you both dated, obviously he shouldn't be telling you how attractive you look... Can't believe everyone is pretending it's just fine haha. I wouldn't bother mentioning it to his wife but still, it's not right

Fairyliz · 17/02/2021 00:01

I reckon end of the evening he was a bit pissed.
I get a bit like this when I’ve drunk too much, go around hugging people telling them how wonderful they are, how gorgeous they look etc. Most people just smile and roll their eyes at me.

Smallonesaremorejuicy · 17/02/2021 00:29

You still fancy him OP , stay away from the happy couple .

MissMarpleDarling · 17/02/2021 00:36

Umm no. Think you might still like him though eh OP.

Sweet666 · 17/02/2021 00:38

He's more likely the one who fancies her surely? He literally told her she looked stunning in her dress... told his ex she looks stunning in her dress...

Sapho47 · 17/02/2021 00:40

Stunning and gorgeous seem to be the basic "man" compliments. Everyone is stunning or gorgeous from OLD messages Grin

JaneJeffer · 17/02/2021 00:51

Well at least he didn't say that dress would look better on my floor.