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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask, would it bother you if your husband told your friend that they looked stunning at your wedding?

190 replies

Peeeeeta · 16/02/2021 20:38

This happened pre covid, and I'm obviously never going to mention it to the bride, but I'm bored and curious for other peoples opinions.

I went to my friends wedding, and towards the end of the evening, the groom hugged me and said "thanks for coming, you look great, honestly you look really stunning in that dress".

Would this bother you if you were the bride?

...drip feed that me and the groom used to date years ago.

OP posts:
HappyTimeTunnelDinosaur · 16/02/2021 20:51

It sounds like he was just being nice, he probably said the same or similar to many guests.

ILovesPeanuts · 16/02/2021 20:51

Definitely overthinking. The fact you were AT his wedding shows how over you he is.

Grilledaubergines · 16/02/2021 20:52

He was being polite, that’s all. He married someone else. Sorry to be harsh but why are you hanging on to it? And why consider sharing a non-event with the bride? You don’t sound nice.

slashlover · 16/02/2021 20:52

By pre covid do you mean this happened more than a year ago and you've been thinking about it ever since?

AnyFucker · 16/02/2021 20:52

You are still thinking about this at least a year later ?

Do you still sleep with one of his t-shirts ?

Notashandyta · 16/02/2021 20:53

I was going to say yes but then read you used to go out, so no, not at all.

Just a thing you say to guests really anyway. Probs said to his mum in law too.
No way you would have been invited if he still held a torch for you

Emeraldshamrock · 16/02/2021 20:53

He probably said similar to every woman in the room.
How did you get an invite as an ex.

UserID779 · 16/02/2021 20:53

Do you still have a thing for him?

RootyT00t · 16/02/2021 20:53

@UserID779

Do you still have a thing for him?
Yep. I reckoned that.
RootyT00t · 16/02/2021 20:54

@slashlover

By pre covid do you mean this happened more than a year ago and you've been thinking about it ever since?
Oh god!!
famousforwrongreason · 16/02/2021 20:54

I'd probably be a bit miffed if my new husband told his ex she looked stunning in that dress at our wedding.
Also, op, why has this come up now??

1FootInTheRave · 16/02/2021 20:55

It's coming across as a bit odd to me tbh.

Probably because I don't really know any bloke that would describe a woman, who isn't his partner, as stunning.

Most in my circles would say you look nice or you scrub up okay etc.

PunishmentSnart · 16/02/2021 20:55

So is bride your friend?!

Then no it wouldn't bother me - my husband often compliments my close friends, he knows them well. I would and have told my friends when their DPs / DHs look well in an outfit or photo. Doesn’t mean I fancy them, it means they look nice Hmm

LaMarschallin · 16/02/2021 20:55

it made me feel uncomfortable when he said it tbh, the "in that dress bit", felt a bit sleazy.

Would have been more sleazy to tell you you'd look stunning without the dress.

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 16/02/2021 20:55

Stunning, it’s a pretty asinine platitude esp to a wedding guest

FTMF30 · 16/02/2021 20:56

Hmm I think his choice of words make it seem a bit Hmm. A general compliment would be fine, eg "you look lovely". But "stunning" is a bit OTT to me. I agree thst "in that dress" has the implication that he's really checking out your figure. Given that he's an ex too, it's a bit of an overstep for a compliment.

That said, I'd brush it off as a bad choice of words and situation judgement. No need to read too much into it.

Grilledaubergines · 16/02/2021 20:56

@famousforwrongreason

I'd probably be a bit miffed if my new husband told his ex she looked stunning in that dress at our wedding. Also, op, why has this come up now??
But equally if the ex was invited to the wedding, that would indicate that other than as a guest on a list, said ex isn’t even on their radar.
AnnLouiseB · 16/02/2021 20:57

It wouldn’t bother me because I trust my husband and know he’s totally capable of giving a compliment without it meaning any more than that. A lot depends on context and history, however.

20viona · 16/02/2021 20:57

It's a compliment! Wouldn't be bothered in any way shape or form.

WaltzesWithSnobs · 16/02/2021 20:57

Oh! I originally read it as your DH told a guest at your wedding g that she looked stunning. I was going to say I didn't think it was a big deal. Now I see it was the groom at a wedding who said it to you. Oh well, has to be the same answer really, doesn't it? No big deal.

ChristOnAPeloton · 16/02/2021 20:58

Meh. I’d take it to mean he thought I usually looked like a toilet brush.

It’s just something you say when people scrub up nice for special occasions.

Piffle11 · 16/02/2021 20:58

If you’re an ex and you got an invitation, you obviously still get on. I think he was trying to be nice, since he was marrying someone else. Like he was trying to make you feel better ... would he think you still have feelings for him?

Notonthestairs · 16/02/2021 21:01

Why would you worry what the bride thinks - it's not like you are going to tell her.

One off comment, no other attempt at flirting, forget all about it.

DareIask · 16/02/2021 21:02

Over a year ago and you still remember it, and still think about it?!

Odd.

NiceGerbil · 16/02/2021 21:02

No of course I wouldn't be upset. Why on earth would you tell her?!

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