To ask, would it bother you if your husband told your friend that they looked stunning at your wedding?

[Peeeeeta]

This happened pre covid, and I'm obviously never going to mention it to the bride, but I'm bored and curious for other peoples opinions.

I went to my friends wedding, and towards the end of the evening, the groom hugged me and said "thanks for coming, you look great, honestly you look really stunning in that dress".

Would this bother you if you were the bride?

...drip feed that me and the groom used to date years ago.

@LolaSmiles

But it always blows my mind what other women are ok with putting up with on here

I'm blown away by what some people put up with in terms of men who don't lift a finger, men who apparently don't see mess, men who are apparently incapable of sending a birthday card to their mum but manage just fine at work, men who claim their job is oh so big and important that they can't trouble themselves with childcare and so on.

Saying a friend looks good at an event at an event where everyone is dressed up isn't something some of us 'put up with'. We're just secure enough in our own relationships that we can say something nice to our friends, and our DH's can do likewise without being insecure or worrying that there's a secret desire to sleep with someone else.

Quite.

Because it was a special occasion it wouldn't bother me & it sounds joyful if that makes sense.
DH told our bridesmaids they looked amazing, best man said I looked beautiful etc. I often tell DH friends they look very handsome when suited & booted. Doesn't mean I fancy them cause I don't.

Telling someone they look lovely/ nice isn't the same as saying 'you look stunning in that dress' to a person you have previously shagged. 🙄

My husband would never be so disrespectful or creepy.

My DH might say something like that. He notices people's hair cuts etc too. OP, as with everything it depends on the people.

My DH, me and a friend would be totally innocent, a happy moment and a nice thing to say to someone.

Someone else's DH, etc could be a sleezy prick and a jealous ex etc.

We don't know any of the people involved.

you look stunning” is fine as it’s more of a generic compliment but to say “you look stunning in that dress” is more personal

It's a wedding though so it's all about the outfit isn't it.

Half my family do like the stunning word though, eg they would describe a dress or outfit as stunning.

Maybe if he said you looked really sexy in that dress you might have a point, but stunning no. It’s a useful word that can be used to compliment all ages of female guests from grandma’s to bridesmaids ( not young bridesmaids that would be weird). Why try and make their wedding day about you?
I’ve been to funerals where people have said things like thank you for coming and it’s nice to see you. Reality is it’s not nice to see anyone at a funeral, you are all just there because someone died which is a sad thing.
Stunning is just a word it’s not a cryptic clue from The Da Vinci Code that you have to puzzle over for more than a year.

It's a wedding though so it's all about the outfit isn't it.
That's my thought.
I'm not into getting dressed up so it's a rare thing, and some of mine and DH's male friends have said similar things. If their wives were on mumsnet then half would have have sense to realise it's a friendly compliment and the other half would be sobbing into their phones about how they didn't realise their husband was so disrespectful and creepy because he should only ever say anything nice to them.

One of our friends commented that DH scrubbed up surprisingly well at our wedding. Maybe I should be offended that they were expressing their attraction to my husband on my wedding day.

:-) absolutely, you should take it up with them @LolaSmiles big time!

OP, if you are still reading all this (which I doubt by now!) then it’s really nothing to give more than a seconds thought too. If he was ringing you up, hanging around your house then yes but a complimentary remark to be nice at a wedding isn’t worth a second thought - I wouldn’t be thinking about it a year later!

One of DHs closest friends from childhood insisted on dancing with me at our wedding, clung onto me and then started whispering in my ear about how beautiful I was. He was off his tits so I gently but very firmly created some distance and let him know he was being a twat. It’s never been repeated since. While I don’t think in your instance a line was over stepped in your instance OP, weddings are a pretty classic place for all kinds of inappropriate words and behaviour!

Don’t give it another moment’s thought. You were all dressed up, looking great, an old boyfriend complimented you, the end.

Yes, if he was your ex and invited you to his wedding, he’s probably still fond of you and probably still finds you attractive but as HE WAS GETTING MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE, not that much.

I’d think it was just a compliment, maybe he was feeling giddy as he’d just got married, the bride obviously felt comfortable inviting you, so no, I don’t think this would bother me.

Maybe he felt sorry for you that you weren't the lucky thing getting married to him so thought he'd over compliment you so you didn't feel so bad 😂

Some of the posters on this thread sound like very controlling wives/girlfriends, to be frank!

@dinglehopper1

you look stunning” is fine as it’s more of a generic compliment but to say “you look stunning in that dress” is more personal

It's a wedding though so it's all about the outfit isn't it.

Agree it’s all about the outfit when people are dressed up. Actually I see the ‘you look stunning in that dress’ as a much less personal comment than just your look stunning’ as in the first it’s saying the dress is great and you are wearing it well not that you personally are stunningly beautiful or attractive whereas the second can be more personal to your attractiveness rather than what you’re wearing. Overall though I think both are pretty generic compliments at a wedding.

@fairydustandpixies

Did the marriage survive ?