To be overreacting at husband for this???

[noraluv]

My husband and I have been together for 7 years and married for 2... baby #1 on the way in a few months. Naturally feeling big and hormonal.

Just recently I found out that my husband on multiple occasions has been picking his female colleague (attractive) on the way to work. Maybe twice alone? And the other occasions with another male colleague.

I'm not bothered about him doing a kind gesture of picking up his colleagues. I've met them all and they seem like a good friendly bunch.

We're an open book when it comes to looking at each other's phone and there's nothing to indicate the female colleague have anything more than just a work friendship. If anything she's always asking about me and my pregnancy, Work related convos etc.

What bothers me is that my husband didn't have the decency to just say or ask if it would be okay to pick up a female colleague. There's no mention of her when he's up earlier than usual some days? Assuming to pick her up. I can't help but feel annoyed and jealous.

He's even offered to book taxis on the day he says he can't pick her up which I find strange. He has clearly prioritised this colleague of his when most days my husband can't even be bothered to drop me off so I can go supermarket.

Am I being hormonal and insane or is this weird to you?? Let me know

Being inconsiderate of your partners feelings who is pregnant with your child is an act of pure selfishness.

In what normal world is giving a colleague a lift disrespectful to your partner 🤣🤣

@Proudboomer

Over the years I have given many a male colleague lifts. So far I have managed to stop myself from falling on their penis. Or is it only female passengers who fall on a random penis?

Only ATTRACTIVE females fall on all the married penises @Proudboomer

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows because he is refusing to give his pregnant wife yet going out of his way for his colleague

Sorry that last post sounded like I was saying your aren't attractive i wasn't and I'm sure you are

[quote Cadent]@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows because he is refusing to give his pregnant wife yet going out of his way for his colleague[/quote]
He's also going out of his way for a make colleague

OP hasn't given nearly enough info about the lift to the supermarket and people are jumping to the conclusion that he refuses every time.

*male not make.

But no one is upset about the man part

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows but the H is only booking taxis for the female colleague for the days he can't give lifts.

I picked up on this:

He has clearly prioritised this colleague of his when most days my husband can't even be bothered to drop me off so I can go supermarket.

It must be galling to see your husband showing more care and consideration to a work colleague than to his wife! What's that all about??

OP?

Flipflopfoodle, troll hunting is illegal here.

But it's strange the OP hasn't been back for more than 24hrs ...

(And are people really car sharing right now?)

We don't know why he book a taxi. OP hasn't elaborated. As already suggested, there are some valid reason why he might have done do.

We don't know why he hasn't taken OP shopping. OP has elaborated. There could also be reasonable reasons why.

So why are some posters insist that that his reasons are shady and selfish?

@dontdisturbmenow

Because I tend to believe the OP. If not, what’s the point?! You’re never going to get the other perspective.

I think it would be bizarre to ask your permission but the taxi bit is odd. There might be backstory there though that you don't know, I'd just ask him.

Because I tend to believe the OP. If not, what’s the point?! You’re never going to get the other perspective
But it's not about believing it not, it's about a lack of information.

If there's nothing more to it than the suspicions and concerns that OP has, what can be commented in but to confirm that OP's OH doesn't care about her because he's probably plotting to have an affair with his coworker?

Except that of course, he might not be anywhere close to be doing so.

OP is saying her DH has clearly prioritised his colleague and can’t even be bothered to take her to the supermarket.

Why not believe her?

@Cadent

OP is saying her DH has clearly prioritised his colleague and can’t even be bothered to take her to the supermarket.

Why not believe her?

No she hasn’t. She’s given some part information that could be interpreted as that and you (and others) are filling in the gaps with assumptions he’s at fault.

@BillMasen

RTOP. She literally says:

He has clearly prioritised this colleague of his when most days my husband can't even be bothered to drop me off so I can go supermarket.

[quote Cadent]@BillMasen

RTOP. She literally says:

He has clearly prioritised this colleague of his when most days my husband can't even be bothered to drop me off so I can go supermarket.

[/quote]
to you too

I’d want to know a bit more before assuming he’s totally in the wrong/abusive/having an affair, but I’m unusual on here...

You're also the one who can't be bothered to read the OP.

Read and understood it fine thanks.

@BillMasen why the fuck aren't you just jumping to the only acceptable MN conclusion - he's having an affair, probably has three families on the go and deals drugs too? I mean come on it's so obvious

Surprise! This is on DM

Hi there lovely,
I am pregnant too, and yes we do get a little hormonal and probably feel a little different about ourselves when we are pregnant... This is my second baby and I remember I felt worse with my first. When you have your beautiful baby, and you realise what an amazing job you've done in growing him/her, you do feel more confident the second time round.

As for your situation, I had to write to you. I saw it on the daily mail (my depressing late night reading habit) and what annoyed me more than anything is people saying your being controlling! And that if it was them they wouldn't care!!!
Good for them 🙄 however I ma a real woman with real feelings and I love my partner dearly. The thought of him ever doing anything like this would really hurt me! We are both usually very open with each other (now, he took some training) and it works really well that way for us.
What people don't realise is that everyone is different and have different ways of processing things that make you feel certain ways. So ignore the hero's that would never say a word to their husbands on such situations. Personally I think these woman are perhaps the type of people commenting are saying this because they wouldn't hesitate to do it themselves. The difference is people like you and me wouldn't dream of driving some hunk to work every day with out communicating that with your husband. That's why it hurts and feels uneasy.
The reality is he's a man, and they don't always get things right. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, or putting you first in his own head. Men think practically. He's also not doing anything drastically wrong, and you can't forget it's a kind gesture.

So it could be worse, (trust me I know) what you've found out isn't nice, but isn't enough to damage your relationship if you handle it well from here.

Speak to him calmly, openly about how it makes you feel, do your best not to come across like your attacking him (Easier said than done I know) this way you will hopefully get the best reaction from him. What you need is some reassurance, him to be understanding and kind.
But also be strong of your expectations moving forward to avoid anything like this happening again. You are the only person who can set those boundaries and how strongly you feel about those boundaries is measured by your self worth!

Good luck lovely xxx

Offering to arrange a taxi and being grudging about dropping me off would raise red flags for me.

Everyone keeps asking this, she isn't Insisting he asks permission like he's OK school. She's simply saying discuss the matter, in relationships you should consider each other feeling at all times. Or it won't work....or it's simply not an Real loving relationship